


The Lair

by BlueMonkey, ThornyHedge



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-27
Updated: 2013-07-14
Packaged: 2017-12-16 09:19:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 50,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/860499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueMonkey/pseuds/BlueMonkey, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThornyHedge/pseuds/ThornyHedge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At The Lair, exotic male dancers bring mystical fantasy creatures to life for the gratification of the crowd. One dancer has only one fantasy--that his best friend, a bartender at the club, will finally fall in love with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Phoenix

**Author's Note:**

> In this modern AU, only Legolas and Thranduil are related. The story is set in an unnamed American city.
> 
> Kili, Thorin, and Thranduil were written largely by BlueMonkey.
> 
> Fili, Bilbo, and Bombur were penned by ThornyHedge.
> 
> The authors shared custody of Ori, Legolas and Dwalin.
> 
>    
>  _Come inside, the curtain's about to open._
> 
> \- - - - - 

"This strap's a little loose, B.B.," Fili told his harried stage manager, wiggling it for show. The blond was wearing a featherweight pair of wings of shimmering crimson, gold and white, secured to his body by twin straps that criss-crossed his hairless chest.

Bilbo Baggins—alias "B.B."—gave the strap in question a cursory glance over his half-frame glasses. "It's fine, Angel," he surmised. "You'll need a little give when you flex your pecs. Now, hold still," He helped Fili into his tear-aways, a gold and crimson tunic and lightweight pants designed for the sole purpose of being ripped off and discarded easily while he danced.

Fili was already uncomfortably warm, his body oiled to glistening, glitter across his chest and shoulders. Kohl lined his blue eyes and his long hair was adorned with clip-on braids and feathers. _Freaking feathers._ Fili smiled fondly. B.B. seemed determined to keep him in wings and feathers. When he'd auditioned to dance at The Lair, the first thing B.B. had done was slip a pair of white angel wings onto him.

 _You've got the job, Angel_ B.B. had called to tell him. _I'm going to make you a star._ And he had; at least in this little underground fetish club.

"Remember, you're the Phoenix. You're on fire." B.B. cupped his cheek, checking his make-up. "Keep the wings away from the pyrotechnics." They shared a nervous laugh. Debuting a new act was always nerve-wracking for them both. "Thorin's nearly done out there. Are you ready, Angel?"

"Roger, B.B.," Fili smiled winningly.

"You look beautiful," B.B. slapped his gold-lamé-covered ass playfully. "Go break some hearts."

Thorin slipped past them, body and long hair glistening with sweat and oil, and reached for a towel. He didn't speak but appraised Fili's costume appreciatively, admiring B.B.'s handiwork.

Fili heard his name being announced and he slowly made his way out into the center of stage two, darkened in anticipation of his act. God, he loved this. And he was, in equal parts, terrified. The music swelled and the lights came up. The audience—largely male and largely gay—was just a sea of blurred faces as he tantalizingly warmed them, and himself, up with innocent, teasing moves.

B.B., in addition to his costuming skills, was an intuitive choreographer. Fili trusted his instincts and only rarely veered from the plan. Unlike some of the other character dancers, Fili insisted on having a pole in every act he performed. Small and lithe, he was exceptionally good at working it, and he was well aware that the dancing pole was basically a giant phallic symbol. He knew every single man in the audience was fantasizing about him working their own personal pole right at that moment, moving around it and demanding every bit of its attention.

All but one. 

As Fili fell to his knees and tore away his tunic, his eyes scanned over the side bar. Kili was serving drinks. He appeared totally engrossed in his work and his customers. Of course, none of them could tear their eyes from Fili. Eventually, Kili would have to look his way.

Fili prowled to the pole, his happy place. The shimmery, shiny feathers on his wings fluttered as he spun and enticed. Sweat, oil, and his exertions made his body look like it was glowing from within. Off came his pants, and he was left clad in only the wings and a small gold thong. Although he knew he looked good, there was always a moment of panic when he found himself stripped down so fully. Fili never took it all off, of course. None of them did. But he could feel hundreds of eyes on his skin and on his hands as they touched the pole.

The pyrotechnics were going off as he entered the frenzied part of the dance. Yes, he was dancing for the room, but in his mind, he was dancing privately—for Kili. _See me, Kili,_ he begged silently. _Want me like I want you._ He sinuously and slowly ground against the pole, caressing it as he would a lover. This time, Kili was watching. Deliberately, Fili ran his tongue up along the pole. A fog of dry ice swirled around him.

The rest of the performance was a blur but, if the applause was any indication, it must have gone off without a hitch. 

"Great work, Angel," B.B. handed him a towel as soon as he got backstage. "They loved it. _I_ loved it," he smiled.

"Another Bilbo Baggins triumph," Fili patted B.B. on the shoulder. "It felt good. Hot, but good."

"Hot indeed, Angel," B.B. confirmed. "The sexual tension was staggering."

"Then my work here is done," Fili bowed with an impish grin.

Fili's had been the last production number of the evening and the crowd was gradually thinning out as he left the dressing room, clad in what B.B. called the "walk-around" outfit—brown leather pants and a vest, half opened. A few of the regular patrons congratulated him as he made his way through the club, and he thanked them politely but quickly. He was desperate to get to Kili and hear what he'd thought of the Phoenix number.

Fili slipped onto a stool on the side of the bar and watched him work.

Kili dried a batch of glasses from behind the bar in between passing a few drinks to customers who asked for his attention. Only a few people still remained; most of them were regulars who always sat at the same spot and ordered the same things, while hoping to get on a first-name-basis with one or two of the men on the staff. He knew their orders by heart. Kili's grin flashed instantly when his friend sat down.

"You," he pointed out with his checkered towel, "made people's mouths dry with that act of yours. I dare say there wasn't a man in this room tonight who didn't want you." 

The orders had certainly rained down on Kili, just after Fili had wrapped it up. 

"The boss is going to be so pleased. What can I get you? Same old, same old?" He leaned forward on the bar, ignoring the cat calls from two of their younger clientele, and twisted his tongue playfully. "It looked scary, the fire."

"Just a little warm, is all," Fili blushed, having the object of his affection at such close proximity. "What's scary is that giant barbell stuck through your tongue. Club soda, Kee," he smiled. "A tall one."

Kili stuck out his tongue for good measure. "I know right?" he muffled around it. "The swelling's finally receding, thank goodness. And Dwalin loves it, if you know what I mean." He winked meaningfully, before veering back and pouring the dancer his order, making sure it was filled to the brim—because he could do that. "So tell me, how do the flames work? I'm sure that if I ask B.B., he'll tell me it's a 'trick of the trade' or something equally vague."

Under the bar, Fili's hand was fisted in anger at the mention of Kili's— _boyfriend, lover, whatever the fuck Dwalin was_ —but to Kili he appeared to be calm. He took a long pull on his straw. "They're controlled by a mixing board. Like professional fireworks. It's like of like being a turkey on a rotisserie up there."

"Well, I bet some people here would have loved eating you up," Kili couldn't help calling over his shoulder while he poured a man some wine at the far end of the bar. "It looks cool though, and the crowd loved it. You should do that act more often. Hey, do you think maybe they'll let me wear the suit some time?"

"B.B. has said you can come up on that stage and dance anytime," Fili grinned. "Although I'd suggest you hit the gym with me a little first. Get rid of some of that pudge around your middle." 

Fili wasn't sure why he lashed out at Kili like that. The mention of Dwalin always riled him, but he certainly hadn't meant to take it out on his friend. "You'd look astounding in red," he told Kili. "A sexy little devil," he added quietly.

"Hey," Kili pulled up the hem of his shirt and ran a hand leisurely over his flat stomach. "There's no pudge here. I have a strict training schedule. As a matter of fact, said training schedule is going to be picking me up in about half an hour, so I hope Ori can fill in for a short bit if there's still customers here."

Bilbo had spoken to him about it several times, but Kili knew he was no stage creature. He loved to dance around in his own crappy apartment whenever it was three in the morning and he was just coming home and not nearly sleepy enough to get some sleep already, but that was all there was to it. No, he'd definitely rather stay behind the bar, get people their drinks and not have to fight off the fans. He didn't know how Fili did it.

"Hm, what was that?" he wondered at the last remark.

Fili looked out over the thinning crowd. The prospect of going home, alone, again, saddened him. He wanted so badly to tell Kili to get rid of Dwalin. Dwalin was married, with kids. Kili was Dwalin's dirty little secret. And the man was scum. Whenever he came to the club, he was handsy and made Fili very uncomfortable. He just didn't understand the attraction.

"I didn't say anything," he said to Kili. "It must have been the music you heard." 

Kili nodded good-naturedly. "Yeah, probably." He shook his head and slid another glass onto the table next to Fili, well before Thorin made his presence known. "Rum and coke, wasn't it?" While Thorin sat down, Kili chatted on as if nothing had changed. "But show me the suit some time. And for fuck's sake, give me the night's count alright? People aren't pushing bills down your thong for nothing."

Fili blushed. "Had some big spenders tonight," he admitted quietly. Between all four numbers I made about six hundred dollars. It might be a record. They seemed to really like the Phoenix number. But the Angel and Demon dance with Thorin continues to earn me the most."

Thorin took a good swig from his drink as if the alcohol didn't sear down his throat, and gestured Kili to fill it up again with less Coke this time. "That's because it's scorching hot. Count the number of people who are not affected when I'm kissing down your throat." 

And Thorin loved that, having all eyes on him, knowing what he did to strangers he'd never spoken to before. The way he told them was calculated; cool, as if it was normal.

"Well, that _is_ pretty hot, if I may say so myself," Kili agreed. "None of the others do it." He cleaned a few more glasses, ready to finish his shift on time, and put them away on the rack to dry. The bar was his island, and he skitted around constantly. "But seriously, six hundred! That's good! You'll get there. Mind my words, in half a year, you're going to be in auditoria, not in dark bars like these."

"Hey, I like this dark bar," Fili told them. "And I like you guys. I'm in no hurry to go anywhere else," he confided, stirring his club soda absently. He also rather enjoyed it when Thorin was pulling his hair aside and kissing his neck. That short time with Thorin on stage was the most physical contact he'd had in days. Tonight, when they'd finished that particular number, he'd been so aroused he'd needed to go to the men's room and rub one out. His face heated up just thinking about it—and about who he was thinking of while he touched himself.

"Kili." He met his friend's eye over the mahogany surface. "Are you free for lunch at all this week? I was thinking maybe we could—"

"Gentlemen!" a voice boomed from behind him, startling him, and he felt an unwelcome hand on his hip. Dwalin's other hand was wrapped around Thorin's waist. "How's life here in the underground?"

Fili sullenly stared down into his drink and waited for Dwalin to go away.

Before either of them could step aside, Kili had pushed himself flush against the bar and pulled Dwalin into him for a searing kiss. His hands clawed at his back and if there weren't a bar obstructing them, he would have quite happily jumped into his lap and rolled his hips into him. "Baby!" he gasped happily. "You're early!"

Thorin commented dryly, "Life's as it always is, I see. Careful the boss doesn't see you. You know how he is about this kind of stuff inside his club."

"Ah, he's busy," Dwalin brushed it off, before turning his full attention to his boy once again. They were the strangest couple; Dwalin a burly man in a suit, old enough to be his father, and Kili the ever-joyful essence of youth. "I see you're getting used to your piercing. How about we put your new skills to the test, eh? Come on, I asked Ori to take your shift already."

 _As if Dwalin had any say in what their personnel did or didn't do._ Fili could barely reel in his dislike for the man, as evident by the fist in his lap. His eyes met Thorin's and widened in an _oh god, I hate this fucker_ look. "I'll see you tomorrow night, Kili," the blond said to his friend despite himself. "Behave yourself."

"Hah! Impossible!" Kili nudged his friend's shoulder. "By the time we're done, you'll no longer be able to recognize either of us." Which meant, in Kili's own little language, _fuck yes, I'm getting this on_. And to be fair, Kili would share the same enthusiasm for Fili's conquests, if only Fili ever went home with someone. Which he hardly did. So, thinking on that, he nudged him again. "And I wish the same to you. Stop being such a prude. Look at how many men want you! We're going to have lunch tomorrow, and you're going to get laid and we'll swap war stories. Got it?"

The way he said it left no room for arguments. Thorin chuckled at that. "Well, guess there's no way out for you, my friend."

"That's right!" Kili made a point of unlatching from Dwalin's ear, which he was running his surgical steel cast against in a perfect manner of foreplay, pulled Dwalin along by his hands towards the exit as Ori awkwardly took over the bar.

Fili wished desperately for a drink. He could feel the chilled cocktail glass in his hands, envision the ice glistening invitingly, feel the burn as it hit his stomach and soothed his head. 

"I'm insane, right, Thorin?" he asked his friend. "To want him? And Dwalin is just so...so...repulsive," he sighed. 

"Ah," Thorin sighed while he leaned back. Even in his regular outfit, he still looked like he owned the place. "Give up on him, Fili. If Kili wants Dwalin, he must like his type. And I don't doubt that Dwalin's good in the sack, or has something else going for him that makes Kili want him enough to ignore the fact that he's a side dish. We're not the ones to question his taste."

"He got a piercing just to please his boyfriend," Ori wrinkled his nose in his typical, adorable way.

Thorin shrugged. "Don't tell me you haven't thought about what it'd be like."

"No sir. Definitely not."

Thorin simply raised an eyebrow. "Really? Because I have."

Fili folded his napkin absently. "Dwalin's rich and powerful. And not bad looking, if you don't mind men who look like professional wrestlers," he grinned shyly at the two of them. "Nothing wrong with a piercing or two, Ori. You and I could go together..."

"No visible piercings allowed on dancers," admonished a voice from behind them, and Legolas, son of the club owner slipped into the seat on Fili's other side. His long pale hair was drawn back in a ponytail and he was still wearing his elf costume from his earlier number. "Or I'd have had my nipples done ages ago. How about a glass of white wine, Ori?"

The mood blackened as soon as he sat down with them. Except for a small bubble surrounding Ori, who obediently reached for the wine and poured him a properly filled glass, shyly meeting his eyes when he slid it across the bar towards him.

"And what about invisible piercings?" Thorin challenged. "Any dark secrets going on that you should tell us about?"

"I take my navel ring out when I dance," Fili admitted, lifting his shirt to reveal the gold ring in his belly button. "You don't dance, Ori. You could totally get one. It'd be hot." He slid from his stool, slipping a ten dollar bill onto the bar. "Use this as a down payment. I need to get home, guys. Goodnight."

"Getting laid like you promised?" Thorin mused, though he knew that was most likely not the case. "Navel piercings don't count. And I was referring to Legolas here. Besides, nobody notices the retainer in your navel when I've got my tongue there."

"Guys," Ori snapped his fingers. "Can we not do this? Pretend we're all sleeping with each other? Some of the customers are starting to look our way real creepy. Legolas, don't answer that." Turning Fili's way, he offered a smile. "See you on Saturday."

Thorin waved a hand too, and Legolas inclined his head.

\- - - - - 

Fili trudged up the two flights to his apartment. The building was old and his place small, but it had all the comforts of home that he required. He poured himself a Diet Coke and turned on his laptop, logging on to his favorite chat site. If he was lucky, he could join in on an online AA meeting before bed.

He tried not to picture Kili's dark eyes, or they way they lit up with joy when Dwalin appeared. What he wouldn't give to see that joy in Kili's eyes aimed at him. When the chat room opened, he smiled to himself.

 _Hello_ he typed. _My name is Angel, and I'm an alcoholic. I haven't had a drink in 2 years and 4 months._

\- - - - - - 

Kili's face pressed further into the pillow with every shove. He groaned, laughed breathlessly, and threw the offending thing out of his reach when he had enough of it. At least that way he wouldn't have to keep reshifting himself in order to breathe.

The room around them was dark, barely lit, and the bed linen a silky black. All around them clung the evidence of wealth. It was reflected in the mirrors, in the tray of fruit, half-eaten and half used for other purposes, on a room service tray on the floor. Next to it lay an emptied canister of whipped cream. An open bottle of lubricant seeped into the rich fleur-de-lis carpet without a care in the world.

The bed slammed rhythmically against the hotel wall. Because Dwalin loved that. He loved the anonymity of the hotel room, booked under a different name, yet at the same time making sure that others knew damn sure he was getting laid. He loved it when neighbors knocked against the wall and asked them to keep it down. Kili would laugh and call back, "Sorry!" and Dwalin, Dwalin would just up the pace and wring the filthiest sounds from the man underneath him.

"Deeper," Kili pleaded. He braced himself for the anticipated fulfillment of his request, but Dwalin simply pulled out of him and shook his head instead.

"Here's what we're going to do, love," he said. Reaching for the floor, he pulled up a small handicam and a baby pink, ridged dildo. From where Kili lay, head pressed into the pillow, Dwalin pushed the item into his hands, wrapped his fingers around it, and nodded encouragingly. "I'm going to tape you working yourself. Then, I'm going to put that on the screen and I'm going to take you as you watch yourself."

Kili nodded with enthusiasm, exactly as Dwalin expected. The boy was so malleable, so eager for anything. 

"Okay," Kili panted. "Start rolling then, because I swear..."

\- - - - - 

"...and that's what we did. Fuck, Fili, the things he _does_ to me. It's like every time I think, hey, I've seen it all, he pulls something new on me. Completely blows me away."

It was not as if they'd picked a very respectable lunchroom, because they were both short on cash more often than not. Kili insisted on paying, because Dwalin had slipped him a few bills on the night stand as Kili had still been coming down from his orgasm. The money was for, as Dwalin claimed, buying new condoms, because he himself couldn't be seen buying them when he was in a steady marriage. What would people think?

A hundred dollars for a few condoms was a bit radical though, even for Kili standards, but Dwalin had just ordered him to treat himself with what was left, which was what they were doing.

Nevertheless, Kili did keep his voice down. In glee. And enjoyed the sun that shone in on them as his lips closed around the straw in his apple juice.

"He promised me he was going to tell her today. About me. Then we can finally be together. You don't know how long I've waited for that. Oh, can you image? No more sneaking around. I feel really bad for her."

Well, Dwalin had said it before. But this time, this time would be it. This time for real. He had promised.

"Your turn. So, did you? Get laid, I mean?"

Fili's grilled chicken salad was nearly untouched, but he'd had several iced teas. He, in fact, sputtered on one at Kili's question. "No, I'm afraid I didn't," he admitted. "I just...I haven't found the right guy yet. And one-nighters, while fun, just aren't my thing." 

He picked up his fork and stabbed into a piece of chicken, pretending it was Dwalin. He didn't want to talk about the asshole, with his toys, his camera, his wife...but it was clear Kili did. "I wish you the best in that regard, Kili. I know nothing would make you happier than to be able to be open in your relationship with Dwalin." The chicken tasted like sawdust.

"Aw," Kili pouted. His own chicken and honey mustard was tasting wonderfully, as everything tasted wonderful when he was in one of his moods of sunshine and flowers. "You'll find that person. And when you do, I hope it's someone who's an animal between the sheets. If not, you're just going to have to educate him. I can give you some pointers?" After all, Dwalin had been an eye-opening affair. Though Kili hated the word 'affair.' Because it wasn't.

Without his usual club get-up, he looked plain. Hair held up in a ponytail and a fairly baggy shirt draping from his shoulders, and without the usual eyeliner, Kili almost looked like an average student. He and Fili could be classmates. Kili would never be a student though; he hated being forced to read a book. He could read them just fine, as long as he didn't have to.

"Do you want me to hook you up?" he wondered. "I've got some friends who know people."

"That's very kind of you, Kee, but to be honest, my heart isn't in it right now. With my job and group and classes...it's just too much to consider a relationship in the mix," he took a long swig of tea. He didn't add that AA recommended _not_ getting involved with anyone in the first few years of recovery. Because he did want to get involved, though only with one person.

Kili shrugged and finished his drink. "Whatever. I didn't say relationship. You could try dating first. But fine, fine, I see how it is." He threw Fili an amused smile that stated clearly he was playing with him. "I'll be on the lookout anyway. Anyway." He shoved a ragged second-hand newspaper forward to Fili and tapped at an article. "Look at this. Fuckers. Cutting costs on health care once again. I hope they don't touch my wages again, or I might seriously have to consider B.B.'s suggestions."

"Have I told you lately how much I admire what you do?" Fili said earnestly. "Not the bartending, of course, as it does provide a valuable service...but the patience and kindness it must take to care for those old folks. I could _never_ do that. Hell, I can't even take care of myself most days," he admitted. "Dwalin is right. You are a catch. I hope he doesn't let you down. If he disappoints you, just know that—"

"Can I refill your iced tea for you, sir?" the waitress cheerfully interrupted them.

Fili smiled at her. "Yes, I'd love more. And our check, please."

Just like that, the moment was lost.


	2. Sex, Lies and Video Tape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili finds a certain video he made with Dwalin has "somehow" turned up on the Internet. Fili tries desperately to control his emotions--and fails.

Kili claimed the check as soon as it was handed to them. "On me," he said. He could have wisely saved the money to pay the rent on his tiny apartment, but he had never been good with money and so, he didn't care.

"Those poor people. If there's any more cutting, they won't be able to afford a lot. Imagine that. Sure, for us it just means getting off our lazy asses and find a job, or an extra one. But that's what they can't do anymore, can they? They're entirely subjected to the decisions of a parliament that doesn't give a fuck about them, because they only cost them money."

Kili could get really heated over the topic. "It's a good thing Dwalin has so many redeeming qualities," he said as he waved his fork at Fili. "Whenever I want to talk to him about this, he always waves it off. Says I'm 'not a politician', whatever that means. I mean, I know I'm not. That doesn't mean I can't have an opinion, can I? Not that it matters, because he usually shuts me up in other ways." The huff made way for a distracted coy smile.

Fili's hand holding his fork tightened. He had so much he wanted to say at that moment. Most of it was about Dwalin, and all of it bad. It was no secret that Dwalin was high up in management at Erebor International, a well-to-do construction firm responsible for most of the newer condos and shopping malls in the city. What was less than common knowledge was that it wasn't unusual for him to evict low-income families or condemn perfectly good subsidized houses in order to level them to begin new construction. A few people in Fili's weekly AA group had lost their homes to Erebor's questionable ways. Many began drinking because of it.

"Dwalin is definitely no politician," Fili finally said against his better judgment. "Politicians have to at least pretend to care about the plights of the less fortunate. He's responsible for putting a lot of people out on the streets. Kili," he sighed, "how can you be who you are...and still care for him?"

"No, _I'm_ not a politician. And we never talk about work. I mean, I do try to. I like talking with him. But he's tired because of his work so often. What he does is really stressful to him too. You shouldn't underestimate him."

Fili knitted his brow. "I don't underestimate him, Kili. That's one thing I definitely don't do." _Because I'm pretty sure there is no end to the horrible things that man is capable of,_ he finished silently. _And one day, he's going to hurt you, Kili._

"I'm glad you were able to come for lunch," he told Kili instead. "Sorry I wasn't better company. It's been a long week and I have exams coming up, too. I promise, next one's on me," he smiled. "Maybe we can spend more time together next time. I thought the zoo might be fun."

Kili pouted. "You're leaving already? We only just got here." He fidgeted with his earlobe, looking adorable in his own otherwise decidedly not innocent way. "I don't uh, I don't think I'll have money or time for the zoo soon. Though it does sound nice. Raincheck?"

He was still hungry.

"I—I don't have to be anywhere until work tonight," Fili told him. "I just thought you might need to get back to the nursing home or something." He noticed Kili hungrily eyeing his half-eaten salad. "Do you want to order more? Something more substantial than what you had? I made quite a bit last night and I'm happy to treat. How about we get some steak...or macaroni and cheese?" he smiled, knowing Kili loved the stuff.

"Oh, mac and cheese! I mean, shift starts at three, and Mrs. Danes doesn't really mind if I'm a little late. She usually oversleeps the first two times I ring her bell anyway. She's the one with the three cats, I'm sure I told you about her before. You know, the one whose husband turned out to be allergic? She's such a sweetheart."

Kili fished out some money from his wallet. He left a measly tip—he barely had enough to eat, despite Dwalin's generous tip, and felt bad about it, so he took a napkin and folded it into a flower for the waitress in apology. The people at the nursing home taught him all sorts of things like these.

"Hey, you still have that hookah?"

"I do, yes," Fili told him cautiously. "But it's been collecting dust under my bed for some time. Been awhile since it's seen the light of day. You _know_ why," Fili narrowed his eyes at his friend. When Fili got stoned, he wanted to drink. And he certainly didn't need any more persuasion in that regard. 

"How about...," he folded up Kili's tip and handed it to him, "we stick around here awhile; get some more food in you. Something substantial?" he flagged down their waitress. "You have a long night ahead of you, Kili."

"Well, uh, Mr. Smith died last week. So his usual slot is free this week." Those were the downsides of the job. People died. "I was thinking of turning in early today."

"I'm sorry to hear that, but you still need to eat," Fili put a comforting hand over his friend's. He knew he had a tendency to get attached to his charges. "How about a cheeseburger? I'll eat one too," he said hopefully.

Kili threw up his hands comically. "Oh, fine. Fine. Back against the wall here. Throw me one, mum."

"Both of us, please," Fili smiled at the waitress. "Two cheeseburgers, medium rare with bacon and tomatoes. And chips. Lots of chips with vinegar." he pointed at Kili. "He's a growing boy."

Kili threw him a small piece of chicken. It hit Fili's hand, before falling onto his plate. "Growing in the wrong direction, right?"

Fili chuckled. "Every direction but _up_." And a strong desire to lean over and kiss Kili washed over him. Instead, he covered his salad with a napkin. "Salad. What was I thinking? Far too nutritious for a day like this." He leaned back in his chair and took a long sip of iced tea.

The waitress kept looking between them with a puzzled expression. Kili chortled, because it reminded him of a tennis match. This was definitely not a tennis match. He remained oblivious about Fili's discomfort. "One cheeseburger for me. No tomatoes, extra bacon. I'll work a little harder later to burn it off." 

He waited until she was gone with their orders before conspiratorially learning forward, though not many people listened in on them anyway. "Next time I come over, you're going to have that hookah clean, right? I've found some interesting recipes online and I can't wait to try them out. Of course, we'll make sure you won't get any urges. You'll be safe with me."

Fili knew full well any urges he'd have with Kee around wouldn't be for alcohol, but he never doubted Kili would take care of him. 

"I'll clean it," Fili smiled mysteriously. "If you dance for me."

Kili immediately pulled a face of distaste. "You're joking."

"Nope," Fili regarded him coolly. "You want the hookah. I want a dance. You could dance _with_ me if you think that might be easier. I'll even let you pick the music," he offered generously. "I'll bring the Phoenix wings home. You can wear them."

The image caused a genuine surge of interest below Fili's belt. 

Opposite him, Kili groaned and threw his head in his hands. He peeked out between his fingers. "You're serious, aren't you? I mean, why do that to yourself?"

"I don't view it as a punishment," Fili assured him. "You do know that you're beautiful, don't you?" he asked softly. 

"People tell me," Kili awkwardly admitted. "But come on Fili! I can't dance, you know that! Besides, it's a little awkward to hear your best friend say that kind of stuff."

"I don't feel awkward saying it," Fili told him. "I'm sorry it makes you uncomfortable. Maybe you need to hear it more often, with regularity. From someone who wants to make you the center of his world. I'd like to—"

"I brought your fries out early," their waitress chirped, setting a plate full of hot chips down between them. "Enjoy." 

"You just need to believe it," Fili concluded after she'd gone, picking up the vinegar.

The lunch room was quiet while Kili picked a plain fry from the plate, more to keep himself busy than because of real hunger. That's what the cheeseburger would be for. "You know I've got Dwalin," he murmured. "I know what you think about him, but I'm the center of someone's world. I have someone who thinks I'm beautiful."

Fili stuffed a couple of fries in his mouth, making the bitter vinegar compete with the bitter words that threatened to spill out. 

_Please, Kee,_ his eyes begged silently. _Please be careful._

The suggestion was lost between them. When the burgers were placed on the table in front of them, Kili's thoughts snapped back to the present. "I'll tell you what," he sighed, "I'll dance when I'm high enough not to care, and I'm not dancing alone. Those are my terms. You can wear that lumberjack outfit that you had before, if you want me in The Phoenix. Deal?"

"Fine," Fili took a large bite of the juicy cheeseburger. "Deal," he muttered, wiping juice from his chin. And the conversation was dropped in lieu of hot greasy food.

In the end Kili had to run, having forgotten that he still needed to drop by the supermarket before work because he had nothing to eat for the evening. He put a few small bills on the table. "I'll see you on Wednesday!"

Of course, knowing them, they'd still bother each other with messages and phone calls.

Fili picked up the money Kee left behind, planning to give it to him as a tip the next time they were at work together. 

Unlike Kili, the blond had no plans prior to work, other than to curl up with a book. He'd hoped to go to the park, but he'd accidentally left the book back at his apartment. He ended up walking five blocks and up two flights, stomach protesting the fact that he'd scarfed down that cheeseburger.

\- - - - - 

Fili's shift at The Lair passed without incident. It was never nearly as enjoyable for him when Kili wasn't there, despite his friendships with Bilbo, Ori and Thorin. Eager for a shower to wash off the night's perspiration and glitter, he walked home, always keenly aware of his surroundings. Working the pole was demanding, and his hamstrings were feeling the burn as he walked up the stairs to his flat.

When he tried the door, it wasn't locked. It was shut however, and there were no visible signs of breaking and entering; no furniture was tossed over, no demolished lock, and the lights were on.

"Fili?" called a quiet, distressed voice from the dark just behind the lights, from the area of his bed.

Adrenaline had shot sparks through Fili's body when he found his door unlocked, and his heartbeat began to even out again at the sound of Kili's voice. 

"Kili," he breathed in relief. "You scared me. I thought I'd been robbed. Not that I have anything to steal…really." Fili dropped his gym bag inside his bedroom door. "What are you doing here? I haven't had a chance to clean the hookah yet...." his voice tapered off when he noticed the tears on his friend's face. "Kee?"

"Oh, Fili!" Kili flung himself around the other man's shoulders. He clung tightly for support. In the dark, it was hard to see the dried tears on his cheeks, though it wasn't hard to hear it in his voice. "I'm sorry, I let myself in. I didn't want to be home, and Dwalin didn't respond to my messages, and I—I don't know what to do."

Kili wasn't making much sense.

"What's happened, Kee?" Fili asked him, rubbing his back soothingly. "Talk to me"

Hair brushed Fili's face as Kili wildly shook his head and gathered his voice. "B.B. called a few hours back. Sent me—sent me a link. Said I needed to see it." He was so distressed he refused to let Fili go. "And Dwalin won't return my calls, and I can't get it off. I can't get it off, Fili."

"A link?" Fili pulled away and searched his friend's face. "What kind of link? To what?"

"I'm on the fucking internet, Fee." Kili teared up again as soon as he'd spoken the words.

"We're all on the internet, Kili," Fili smiled, a gesture that Kili did not return. "Can you be a little more specific? Pictures?"

"Last night's video."

"Y-you mean...the stuff you told me about today at lunch?" Fili's grip on Kili's upper arms tightened. "Dwalin posted it online?!"

Kili raised his hands in a gesture of dazed absence. "I don't know!" he sniffed. "He wouldn't do that, but I haven't been able to catch hold of him all night and it's definitely what he taped last night! And it's—God, it's so fucking embarrassing! There's no denying it's me, and wait until someone in my family sees it and shows mum or dad. I could lose my job over this. Fuck, I'll never get another job in my life. It's not _just sex_! I mean, everybody has sex. I could explain that, at least. Instead I'm—I'm—"

"Oh, Kee." Fili found himself tearing up in empathy, not letting Kili complete the awful description of his actions. He hugged his friend to him tightly. "I'm so sorry. You don't deserve this," he stroked his hair, his back. He was so angry with Dwalin that he wanted to drive to his office and punch him. "It's bad, huh?"

"Worse."

Kili tried to dry his eyes—he was a grown-up, for heaven's sake—but the tears wouldn't stop coming. They'd dry and he'd think it was safe to remove his palms from his face, but then he'd think about the video again and again his eyes would just glass over again.

"I've been punching the ‘report abuse’ button all night, but it won't go away. It's terrible. Do you know how many _views_ it's had? How many people saw me fucking do what I did? More than two thousand, Fili. And that was hours ago!"

"It's _worse_ than what you told me?" Fili encouraged him to sit down on the edge of the bed, and reached for a box of tissues, handing two of them to Kili immediately. "Remember, Kee, to most of those people watching, you're just a stranger. They don't know you."

Kili let himself drop down on the bed. He curled into a small ball in the corner, his socked feet in Fili's lap, while he tried to get rid of the evidence of his turmoil with the tissues. Needless to say, they were useless, but at least he could busy himself with something that wasn't a loose thread on his already ratty shirt.

"I don't care if they don't know me. They saw me do something that was only ever supposed to be for Dwalin. I put a freaking dildo in me. For him. Not for some perverts who don't know me, who are currently getting off on looking at me trying to make Dwalin crazy. Or, as they probably see it, the camera."

Fili had to bite his lip to keep from saying what was on his mind. Instead, he lay down next to Kili and pulled his friend's head onto his chest, holding him and rocking slightly. "I'm so sorry," was all he could say. _Bastard! Evil fucking asshole bastard! How could you do this to him?_

But, of course, he'd expected it—eventually. 

It took them a long while before Kili's breathing finally calmed down, and his tears did run out. As the younger lay there, he stared at the wall in front of him. A few torn posters were evidence of previous tenants, and the television present wasn't worth mentioning.

Still, looking at the lack of drama in the silence of the room calmed Kili down. He didn't want to think about the tape; if he could forget it existed, for one night, that would be good enough for him. "What on earth was I thinking?" he whispered. "Please, Fee, don't ever let yourself be caught on tape. No matter how much you love the person. Promise me you'll learn from this."

Fili lay his forehead against the back of Kili's dark hair. "You were having fun. It's what you're supposed to do when you're in love. But you're supposed to be able to trust the other person." He squeezed Kili. "Love makes us stupid," he said truthfully. "Very stupid. This I know from experience," he said sadly. 

"You can sleep here if you want, Kee," he told his friend.

While Kili couldn't recall Fili having mentioned relationships in which he'd done stupid things before, he let it slide. With a slight nod against Fili's pillow, he mumbled, "I'll move to the couch in a bit. Just let me lie here a while longer. I feel so stupid. He was going to tell her today. We were going to be together. Properly, you know? What am I going to tell Mr. Thranduil when he finds out?"

He frowned at the thought.

"Well, not him. He probably thinks we'll get more customers. Good promo and all."

It was then that Kili's phone over on the table rang.

"Ugh. Make it stop."

"Do you want to answer it?" Fili asked him. "It could be Dwalin. Then again, it is 3:30 in the morning..." he reached for the phone, holding it out to Kili.

One look at the dial showed that it was, in fact, Dwalin. 

Kili nearly threw the phone away, before he remembered he didn't have money to buy a new one and handed it back to Fili. "Tell him I don't want to talk to him."

Fili drew in a long, controlled breath and clicked _answer._ "Hello?" he said, voice tight. He continued to touch Kili's back comfortingly.

"Who's this?" Dwalin's gruff voice sounded. "Put Kili on."

"I'm not here!" Kili, who heard, cried out. Still his heart fluttered on hearing him. "You've been out of reach for ages, you bastard!"

"I'm sorry, Dwalin," Fili said, trying not to seethe, "but Kili isn't interested in speaking with you right now. I'm sure you can imagine why."

"Because he tried to call me and I wasn't there? Oh, come off it. You're his friend from the club, aren't you? I've just spent two hours at the police office because someone emptied my vault at the bank. I'm sorry. The phone was off. Now can I talk to him?"

Fili turned to Kili and said softly, cupping the cell phone to his chest to muffle the sound. "He claims his bank vault was emptied and he's been busy with the police. That's why he hasn't called back. Do you want to speak with him, Kee?"

"What was in the vault?" Kili demanded. "A lot of money? Because I hope there was!"

"Things that are better left behind a lock, Kili," Dwalin sighed. He returned to addressing Fili. "What's really wrong? This isn't him. Did something happen?"

"Dwalin, the _video_ ," Fili told him. "The one you made of Kili last night. It's been put up on the Internet. It's practically gone viral. I am asking you, if you are responsible for that video being online, take it down immediately." Fili's hand holding the phone was shaking.

"Ah." A deep sigh on the other end of the phone. "I am so sorry. It wasn't me, but it's gone missing. I've been afraid of it. So it's true. You have to understand, I would never put that up. Aside from hurting him, it would ruin my career if it were traced back to me."

Dwalin sounded honest, and he made a good point.

"Where is it? I'll have someone make sure to get rid of it. Now, please, let me talk to him."

Kili shook his head however.

"Tell him he can call me tomorrow."

"I'll let him know," Fili said stoically, thumbing the _end call_ button. "He claims it wasn't him," Fili sighed. "But I can't necessarily say I believe him." He squeezed Kili's shoulder reassuringly. "You should turn off this phone and get some sleep. _I'll_ take the couch, all right?"

His answer came in the form of red-rimmed eyes closing and a hand keeping his friend close. "Don't go until I'm asleep, please." Kili was never very depending on others; to admit to needing someone there as he fell asleep was something. "I want to wake up tomorrow and find out that the video's gone and never have to worry about it again. Send him the link. He'll take care of it. It's in my inbox; last email B.B. sent me. Thanks, Fee. You're the best."

Already he was drifting off.

Kili fell asleep amazingly fast. Crying could do that to a person. True to his word, Fili stayed close by, stroking Kili's unruly hair affectionately. When Kili's breathing turned into soft snores, Fili lay a nearly non-existent kiss to his cheek. "I love you, Kee," he whispered. "God, I love you so much," he sniffed. "You don't deserve this."

He got up and carried Kili's phone into the living room and slouched on his old sofa, opening the email. His finger lingered over the link as he fought himself internally. Finally, his curiosity got the best of him. He clicked it.

The tape started with a fair warning. Under eighteen, no admittance. Fili wasn't familiar with the website the video had been put on, but it had to be one that encouraged these kinds of videos. That didn't bode well.

All at once, Kili was on screen. It wasn't obvious that it was him, not at first. At first there was just a man, on his knees on black, expensive silk; fully anonymous, panting, laughing, moaning. "Are you filming this?" he asked giggly. "Can I?"

The man behind the camera must have nodded, because Kili moved an object to his rear—which was on full display. The dildo pushed further and further in, and Kili's back arched. "Oh god," he breathed when it was in to the hilt. "How does it look? Like what you see?"

Kili looked over his shoulder and into the camera. He was debauched, and he loved it.

"You want me to turn around?" he asked as he was starting to work the baby pink object. "I wish this was you doing this to me, baby. Stretch me up just right for you." Another enthusiastic grin preceded Kili pulling the toy nearly out before ramming it back in, falling forward at the overwhelming feel.

On the screen, Kili was writhing in pleasure. Fili, on the other hand, felt deep despair. He hadn't even realized he was crying until he hit pause and a droplet of salted water fell from his face onto the screen below.

"Oh, Kee," he whispered, "Kee..." Fili, who had never actually seen Kili naked before, was mortified. The video he thought might thrill him instead sickened him. Dwalin was using Kili and now shaming him publicly. Dwalin had nothing to gain and Kili everything to lose.

"Dwalin, you pig," Fili whispered, forwarding the email to the contractor as Kili had requested. "You make this go away, you greedy fuck. Go home to your wife and kids. Leave Kili alone," he said to the empty room. 

He put down the phone and went to his small bathroom, turning the water in the shower as hot as he could stand it. He stood under the pounding heat, as if the shower could wash away what he'd seen. It couldn't, of course, but took care of the layer of glitter, sweat and kohl he'd acquired at The Lair. 

He wrapped himself in a bathrobe and lay down on the couch. Sleep didn't find him until the first rays of golden sunlight came streaming through the blinds. 

When the morning came, it was Kili who woke first. He sat up in bed, looked around him and upon realizing his surroundings, got up. He padded quietly to the common living room, because that's where Fili said he'd sleep. Kili wasn't well-rested, but he appreciated what his friend had done for him nonetheless.

Fili was still asleep, so he quietly picked up his phone from the table in front of him and sat down on a seat next to him. The thrift shop couch creaked while he sat down. For a moment, Kili feared Fili would wake up. When he remained blissfully unaware, he muted the sound of his phone.

With a dreading sensation in his gut, he clicked the link once again. Internet had to be on their side that morning, because it was buffering fast. It was still there then. Kili felt like he could cry. With diminishing hope he tried to refresh the page.

He did actually cry when the page suddenly gave him a blank where the video embed had been, and a note saying 'This video is in violation of our terms and has been removed.'

He typed a quick message to work to call in sick, kissed Fili's temple and whispered, "Thank you."

Then he took the phone back to bed and sent a message to Dwalin.

Fili didn't stir until 10 a.m., and only then because his back and neck were protesting the ancient sofa and his lack of pillow. He reached for Kili's phone, but noticed it was gone. He assumed Kili was too and decided to go back to his bed. He didn't have class until 1.

"Oh... hey," he smiled, finding Kili instead awake on his bed. "Sleep well, Kee?"

As Kili looked up, it was obvious he was still sleepy. "Not really. Had a bad night." He pulled up his legs and shifted, so that Fili had more space to sit on the bed, should he want to. "It's gone. He removed it. Thanks for sending him the link." He looked out the window. "A lot of people saw it..."

"Yeah, they did," Fili nodded sympathetically. "Here's to hoping most of them are strangers you'll never have to deal with." He sat down on the edge of the bed. "I don't need to be anywhere until 1. Do you...want breakfast or something?" he asked lamely.

Kili's smile was timid as it usually was not. He ran a hand through his own messy hair. Thanks to having fallen asleep with his hairband still in, his ponytail was disheveled and needed to be disentangled with care. "Have you got eggs or something? I mean, I'm cool with anything. But eggs would be really nice. I called in sick, but you said you needed to study, so if you want me to go, I can go home."

"I have _tons_ of eggs," Fili told him. "I'll pull something together. Why don't you go use the shower?" he hinted, nudging him with an elbow. "Seriously, Kee," Fili put a companionable hand on his arm. "Don't avoid work and going out. The longer you do, the harder it'll be. The first few nights after I danced for the first time, I was afraid to leave the house. I thought _everyone's going to look at me and know I danced around stage in a thong._ They didn't." Fili squeezed. "They won't."

Kili chuckled. "I know, you were terrible about it. So you can't back out now." He leaned forward and stretched his back. "I'll work tomorrow. I just, I need a breather, I suppose. Imagine all those old men and ladies looking at me. I don't think I could do that today."

"Sweet one, I think there's very little chance any of your patients have seen that video," Fili chuckled, rising. "Take a shower. Wash that rat's nest you call hair, Kee. Then I'll feed you bacon and eggs. Go," he encouraged. "Towels are under the sink."

"Sweet one?" Kili scowled at the nickname, yet he did as he was told. When he emerged from the cramped bathroom ten minutes later, his hair looked decent again and his tired expression had made way for a carefully optimistic one. Well, as optimistic as it could get.

With all the drama of the last day, Dwalin still hadn't told his wife. But, Kili reasoned, at least they were still together. That was better than the nothing that could have easily been the result from the incident.

Because it was his habit, he then made the bed presentable again and cleaned a little while Fili made food. "Still haven't found the hookah!" Kili called out in the direction of the kitchenette.

"It's under the bed," the blond reminded him. " _Way_ under. You should let me get it. You'll just get dirty again," he smiled to himself as he spooned scrambled eggs and a handful of bacon strips onto two plates. 

"Breakfast is ready," he announced, reaching into the small refrigerator for a small bottle of orange juice. He poured a large glass for Kili, using the last of the juice, then got some water for himself.

The sound from stumbling came from the area of the bed, and then a triumphant laugh.

"Found it!"

Kili trodded back with a dusty glass pocket, from which two mouth pieces dangled. "And it seriously needs cleaning." He soon dropped the thing on the couch in favor of food however. "God, that smells good. Hey. You work tonight, right?"

"Yeah... eight till two," the blond told him, and took a chomp out of a piece of bacon. "I told you it was filthy," Fili smiled at the hookah like an old friend he hadn't seen in years. 

Kili too looked at it affectionately. "Good times, weren't they? I'll clean it later, when you're in class." He clamped down on a spoonful of scrambled eggs. Speaking around it, he asked, "Is it okay if I come over? I've pretty much got the day off and I don't really want to spend it alone. Besides, I really need to thank B.B."

"Well, of course. The club's your second home," Fili said around a mouthful of eggs. "But you know B.B. is going to try to talk you into dancing again." He raised his eyebrows suggestively. 

"Hmph. He's seen me dance. He'd better not decide to make me some sort of charity project. You know, teach the unfortunate how to be stars. Not going to happen. I do have my limits."

"Well, I for one would love the opportunity to dance with you," Fili admitted. "Onstage or off," he blushed. "If you ever think you don't have moves...you forget the magic you work behind a bar. You are hypnotic to watch once you get going," he said, to cover up the shame at his confession. "You good? You need more?"

Kili tapped Fili's plate with his spoon. "I'm good. So, 'fess up. What's with this sudden urge to get me to dance? Once, that's fine. But this is the second time you've asked me in two days' time, while you of all people should know how abysmal I am."

Kili peered at his friend closely. At last he sighed and threw his hands up in the air. "Fine. Tonight. But only because I owe B.B. and there's hardly anyone around on Tuesdays. And I'm not stripping or anything."

"I wouldn't say it's a 'sudden interest'," Fili squirmed uncomfortably. "I just hadn't talked about it before. I mean, who wouldn't want to see you dance?" Adding this didn't help his discomfort. "Maybe after closing, B.B. can take you onstage and teach you how to smolder."

He started clearing the dishes to avoid having to look at Kili.

"Well, look who's acting funny now," Kili fished out a bent cig. "Look. I really don't want to 'smolder'. And just so you know, you'll have to get me properly tipsy first. I'm doing this so you can never use it against me again."

A fork clattered to the floor as Fili nervously carried them to the sink. Blushing, he reached for it, robe riding nearly the whole way up his thighs as he did so. He turned to find Kili transfixed by the flesh that was revealed.

"I—I ought to get dressed," he stammered, putting the fork in the sink. "And this isn't a bar. No smoking in here," he scolded, trying vainly to deflect the attention.

Kili at once snapped out of it. He shrugged. "Fine. Open a window."

He wondered what had Fili so strangely interested in him dancing, and acting so weird lately. Something to help him lighten up would do. He couldn't think of a reason. Suggesting he got laid sprang up at once; though it didn't feel like a sensible thing to say.

Fili huffed. "I'm going to take a shower," he told his friend, cracking open the kitchen window. "Try not to make it smell like a bordello in here, okay?" Fili wrinkled his forehead at the look on Kili's face. "And whatever you're thinking right now—it's probably _way_ off base." He turned and left for the bathroom.

"Oh, and what do you reckon I'm thinking?"

Kili started picking at the last lumps of egg on his plate. One fell to the floor. He'd clean that up later. "Besides," he said rather to himself, "I would never make this place look or smell like a bordello."

With distant curiosity he got up and looked at the small bookcase bearing Fili's study books. Kili didn't like to study. That didn't mean he thought less of those who could, and he was very proud that Fili worked hard to get where he wanted to be.

"You're thinking I need to get laid," Fili said flatly. He leaned over and picked up the egg Kili had dropped, tossing it into the trash. "Do you deny it?" 

"Well, when was the last time you have?"

"It's been awhile," Fili confessed quietly. "But, anyway, it's none of your business, Kee. Unless you're the one actually in my bed. I mean, don't be concerned about my lack of sex—unless you intend to do something about it," he blurted out, and fled to the bathroom quickly.

Kili sat baffled. Then Fili was gone, and he had no intention of letting it slip. So, determined to get to the bottom of this, he followed him into the bathroom and then blocked the exit. Kili folded his arms.

"Mind telling me what this is about?" he asked. "You make references to dancing with me, now you're making references to me sleeping with you. Both, might I add, being very much out of the blue and very much something you don't usually say to me. Is there something you're trying to tell me here?"

Fili re-tied the belt on his bathrobe. "I—," he began. "I'm just...under a lot of stress with work, and exams. And now I'm worried about you," he said, furtively. "I've been saying stupid things. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to upset you, Kili. I'm just scared you're going to get hurt by Dwalin. And I'm jealous of the time you spend with him, I suppose," he fiddled with a bottle of shampoo. "I care about you, Kee. A lot," he raised his eyes to meet Kili's.

Kili snorted. He thought it was a lame explanation. "I spend more time with you than I do with him. He's always on a business trip, or with his family, or whatever. You don't have to worry about Dwalin coming between our friendship, as you don't have to worry about him hurting me. He was robbed last night. It's not his fault that this happened. He's not, because if I find the man who did, he'll be dead."

"What if Dwalin's lying to you?" Fili asked him, softly. "What if _he's_ the one who put that video out there on the internet, Kili?"

"He wouldn't. He loves me. Why would he want to push me away?"

"I can't imagine why anyone would," Fili confessed. "I just don't trust him, Kee. I don't trust him with your heart and I don't trust him not to hurt you. I think you deserve so much more. I'm sorry," he said sadly. "Now you know why I didn't want to talk about this with you."

Still not letting him go from the bathroom, Kili was starting to grow annoyed. Fili still wasn't telling him something. He was masterful at skitting around the actual subject, and Kili had a feeling it was something of importance. "No, I still don't. Come on, Fili. You don't want to talk about this? You don't want to tell me Dwalin's bad news? Because you just did, and you already have, and besides, I know how you feel about him. You really don't need to tell me that again. I deserve 'so much more?’ What's that kind of bullshit?"

"It's not bullshit, Kee," Fili put down the bottle of shampoo and took a step closer to him. "You deserve to be the center of someone's world—not some dirty little secret he slips away to a hotel with under a fake name. Not someone who degrades you like that with a video camera. Not someone who forces you to do things you don't want to do. You should be with someone who wants to take care of you and take you out and be proud to be seen with you," he put his hand on Kili's shoulder. "You should be someone's first choice, not a back-up plan. You, and your body, should be treated with respect and tenderness...and love," Fili sniffled and looked away. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Of course I do!" Kili shot back. It was exactly what Fili had been telling him before. He needed someone better. Someone who loved him. Someone decidedly not Dwalin. And therein lay the crux; someone not Dwalin. He didn't want for Dwalin to have all that. Same old, same old. Except that too many words were spent on telling him just that. "Let me tell you, Fili. I _am_ his first choice. I love him, and he loves me. And I fucking loved doing that, with the video. But it should have stayed between just the two of us, and it hurts me that other people saw it. Why am I even defending him against you? Is there someone else you think is better for me? Because it sure sounds like you've got someone in mind already!"

"No one who can compete with the strong, unwavering feelings you have about Dwalin, I'm afraid," Fili replied. "He's rich and he's powerful. He can give you anything. Everything," the blond admitted. "Who could compete with that?" he hugged his robe around his body, suddenly feeling very cold.

"Kili, I really need to start getting ready for class," he told his friend. "You can stay here as long as you want, of course."

Stepping to the side, Kili sat down on the tiled floor. "All I need is his love," he whispered. He felt suddenly hollow, though he didn't understand why. Dwalin did love him. There was something about the way Fili said it however that made Kili sad. "Only his love. That's all. Go. I'll lock up after you."

The bereft tone of Kili's voice saddened the blond. "I know," he got down on his knees in front of his friend, taking his face in both hands. "Love. It's what we all want." He kissed Kili's forehead lightly. 

"I don't want to leave you here sad and alone," Fili told him. "I can skip class, if you want me to." 

But Kili felt much better after the kiss, for no other reason than that it made him feel loved. "No, go." He smiled. "Don't throw away chances because of me. I'll see you tonight at The Lair anyway. And I promised you I'd dance, so cheer up; you've got that to look forward to."

When Fili offered him space, Kili moved his weight forward and got up. "I'll clean that hookah and then get home. Wouldn't want work to check up on me and find me not there. You hear those stories all the time."

"Do you want some money to buy some smoke?" Fili asked him. "I mean, we do have to feed the Hookah Gods, right?" he smiled. "If you need it, my wallet's in my top dresser drawer. Take what you need, okay?"

"And, I always look forward to seeing you, Kee," he reminded his friend. "Be careful out there. See you tonight," he said, closing the bathroom door behind his retreating friend.

Kili stuck out the tip of his tongue for good measure.

As soon as he was alone, he took out the hookah and started to clean it. He wasn't an expert, and the thing looked rancid from the inside out, so he was down to his phone to find himself a video of deconstructing a hookah and set to work.

When he was done and quickly tidied the room a little, Kili looked for a note and scribbled down, "Sorry for today. You're the best friend a guy like me could wish for. Love, Kili." Then he took out ten dollars from his wallet—donated to him by Dwalin, and now repurposed—to put it in Fili's wallet. For the dreams he dreamed.


	3. Angel & Demon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori lets the cat out of the bag, but Kili is full of doubts.

Although it wasn't on the schedule for that evening, Fili asked Bilbo if he could dance the Dark Angel number. He wasn't particularly fond of the music, and even Bilbo seemed surprised by the choice. But the costume was black with hints of silver, as were the magnificent feathered wings he got to wear. The whole thing suited his mood: dark.

The number allowed him to prowl, be aggressive and angry. It came naturally that evening— the heat, the smolder. The crowd was just a sea of faces as he worked the pole, stripped down to the wings and a shiny black thong. His hair swept the floor as he bent his body backwards, eyes closed. 

When his eyes were closed, he could think of Kili and the way he smiled at him over cheeseburgers the day before. The music, however, made him think of that dreadful video Dwalin had made, so he tried to focus his thoughts on his own hands as he touched himself from his neck down to just above his groin, making every person in the audience wish that hand belonged to them.

The man dancing, of course, wished the hand belonged to one particular person.

With all eyes and lights on him, hardly anyone paid attention to Kili as he sat down at the bar and grinned because of Ori's surprise at seeing him. "Don't ask," he laughed. Kili was going to dance, and it would be the most dreadful thing ever. "Can I get a coke? I need to find B.B., but first..."

He leaned one elbow on the bar casually as he turned on his stool. It was just his luck to walk in when Fili ascended the stage. Fili only danced on certain days, and he danced a small repertoire specifically choreographed for him. He never did the Dark Angel; that was usually Thorin's specialty. But Thorin looked at ease as he leaned back in his chair, clearly here for his own entertainment as well.

What was more, Kili noticed, Fili danced with a visciousness—an angry passion.

"Did something happen between you two?" Ori asked as if he could read minds.

"Not really," Kili blinked. That thing in the morning had been strange, but he thought they had settled that. He kept his eyes on his friend. This, this was a different side of Fili, this dark and demanding figure. It suited him. And yet it didn’t; it wasn't Fili.

Ori smiled. "Looks like you won't need to find B.B. anymore."

The man in question sat down next to Kili instead.

"Well," Bilbo templed his fingers and leaned conspiratorially towards Kili. "Something's certainly gotten into my Angel of Light this evening. Any ideas as to what that could be, Master Kili?" Like so many others in the club, he found it nearly impossible to take his eyes off Fili, who was swinging around the pole with passionate fury, eyes much darker than usual, glistening gold hair blazing a trail behind him. The floor around him was showered with money, barely visible through the dry ice fog that surrounded him. He looked ethereal, dangerous and sad.

"Jesus," Bilbo breathed. "He's dancing like he either wants to fuck someone, or kill someone—or both."

"Probably _kill_ someone," Kili said with a sinking heart. Fili didn't sleep around, or so he said, and he had made it very clear he had trouble with Dwalin. But what Bilbo said was true. It took that statement for Kili to look at Fili through a different lens. When he did, the signs were all obvious.

"I have to thank you for yesterday," Kili started as he, well, stared. "The video is gone now, thank god. Fili sent Dwalin the link after I asked him to, and Dwalin took care of it. I suppose Fili still blames Dwalin for it, like he always blames him for everything." He sighed. "Anyway, you owe me one. I promised him—" Kili gestured to the stage, "—that if I was sufficiently drunk, I could let myself be persuaded to dance. Not strip, mind you. Just dance. So here I am. Do your worst."

"You _what?!_ " the choreographer nearly choked on his vodka and tonic. "You? Up _there?_ " he giggled. "Oh, that's too rich. Surely he meant a private dance, knowing our Angel."

Bilbo wisely held his tongue regarding Dwalin. He didn't know the burly contractor well enough to judge fairly. But from what he'd seen and heard, he quite unfairly thought he was a colossal douchebag who probably abused Kili. He agreed with Fili that Dwalin had probably put the video online himself.

"Does he want you in costume and everything?" Bilbo wondered, knowing full well that Fili probably did. Fili had told him, in fact, one night while they were eating ice cream sundaes, of his feelings for the bartender.

Kili felt a bit put on the spot; as if his resolve about going up there wasn't already wavering. He'd expected a good boost of encouragement from Bilbo. This was what he got instead. How was he supposed to work with that?

"Well, I prefer to do this when our customers are gone, and I've got no idea what Fili wants, because he's been vague and he wouldn't stop pressing the issue that he wanted to see me dance, but that's what I understood from it. And since I owe you a big one, I thought, might as well combine it and never hear either of you complain about it again."

Taking a big drink from his coke before ordering something stronger, Kili added, "He mentioned I could wear the Phoenix. I said, if he wore the Lumberjack outfit. You think you can set us up with that?"

Ori chuckled good-naturedly. "Careful, Kee. You're among the wolves now."

Kili sighed. "Don't I know it."

"Well now," Bilbo smiled. "The Phoenix and the Lumberjack. Might just be the strangest combination ever seen on The Lair stage." He studied Kili for a moment, making sure the lad was serious. "Yes," he nodded, "sure. I can have the costumes ready at two when the customers leave. Will you be choosing the music, Master Kili?"

With an air of resignation, Kili waved his hand about. "I’ll leave it up to you. I trust you won't put on something embarrassing." He knew he was going to be embarrassed enough to not survive the night without a decent amount of alcohol in his bloodstream anyway. 

Kili turned to Fili again. With the act only halfway through, he had enough time left to wonder what was on his friend's mind. Because that, that creature on stage right there, that was not Fili.

Fili's eyes adjusted enough to the spotlight to see the bar. Thorin leaned coolly against it, his blue eyes locked on Fili. Ori, too, was having a hard time concentrating on his work. Not that he had many customers to contend with. All eyes were on Fili. He had them, and he knew it.

More importantly, for the first time ever, Kili actually seemed to be paying attention to his act. The burning brown eyes observing him so carefully made him self-conscious for the first time since he stepped onto the stage. And he was quite alarmed to find himself becoming turned on. Erections were, for obvious reasons, discouraged onstage. He'd only had that problem a few times when he was doing the Angel and Demon number with Thorin. Who wouldn't get a hard-on with Thorin licking his neck?

But Fili was on stage alone, thinking only of Kili as he writhed against the pole. He was sweating, oiled and shining in the spotlight, now thankfully lowered to a dark blue as the number was drawing to a close. He wasn't supposed to lock eyes with audience members. Not for too long. But Kili was watching him. Really paying attention. He wanted the brunet to make sure he appreciated what he saw.

The last thirty seconds of his act became an erotic, private show just for his friend—although the rest of the audience couldn't possibly know what was going on in Fili's head. _See me, Kili,_ he begged silently. _Please see me as I see you._

The dancers weren't responsible for collecting their own cash. The stagehands swept it up afterwards and collected it for them while they changed. Fili didn't have to look down to know that next semester he wouldn't have to worry about getting a part time job in the university cafeteria. 

"Wow," Ori leaned over the bar towards Kili. "That was something eh, Kili?" he pushed another drink towards the brunet. "What I wouldn't give to have him dance like that for me."

Kili stared, though he tried to mask it up expertly by taking another good swallow from his drink. "Yeah," he supposed. "Where did that come from?" He wasn't sure what he thought about it. Fili had been acting oddly for a few days now, and this definitely fit right in there. He wasn't sure if he had to be concerned or should instead praise his friend's recent developments.

"You like him then?" he asked Ori. "I mean, he's available. I see no reason why he wouldn't give you a dance like that." Maybe Fili getting laid would indeed do the trick.

Kili failed to notice the way both Thorin and Bilbo cringed at his comment.

"Oh, come now," Bilbo picked up his drink and took a sip. "Our Angel does not simply _get laid._ Like a swan or a wolf, I fear he will mate for life."

"That is such a pity," a customer sitting nearby who had overheard said. "I know a lot of men in this room would love to take him home tonight."

Thorin bristled at the comment and moved in closer. 

"This isn't that kind of club," Ori explained, refilling the man's drink. "We only dance here."

"Everyone has their price, sweetie," the customer retorted, sliding a $100 bill across the bar at Ori.

"You can't afford his," Ori slid the bill back, eyes steely.

Kili looked the man over once. "No, you can't. Win his heart if you want him. Spend that money otherwise. But not tonight. Tonight he's mine." He referred to their dancing appointment, which he didn't mind getting out of—though certainly not at the expense of this guy who thought Fili could be bought. Fili couldn't. That was one of the things he liked best about his friend.

"Besides," he grinned to Ori, "If anyone has a first shot, I'd say it were you."

"On that note," Bilbo finished the dregs of his drink and slipped a $5 note into Ori's tip cup, "I've got to go help Thorin get into his costume." He hustled backstage. Thorin sauntered after, but only after giving the brazen patron a threatening look. 

Ori seemed terribly flustered by Kili's pronouncement. "I hardly think so," he busied himself washing some beer glasses. "It's fairly obvious who he has his eye on," he said, almost, but not quite inaudibly.

Although the sound of his voice was lost over the loud music of the room, Kili nonetheless had enough experience as a bartender with reading lips to a fairly good extent. As the customer grudgingly left, he pressed against the bar. "Fili has his eyes on someone?"

He chewed his lip when he realized how he'd been trying to get him to get laid for the night. And all this while, Fili had someone on his mind already.

Ori cocked his head to the side and eyed Kili warily, certain that his co-worker was having one over on him. How could he not know? It certainly wasn't in his place to tell Kili, was it? He only nodded, putting the glasses up on the rack to dry. He did every possible busy work task he could to avoid Kili, who was staring him down in hopes of continuing the conversation.

Ori finally came to Kili's end of the bar and leaned across to him. "Mate, are you blind?" he asked with a sad little smile. "It's _you,_ Kee. Fili loves _you._ " And, just like that, he turned back to the prep area, grabbed a lemon and sliced it up expertly—and more than a bit aggressively.

Kili stared. Certainly, Ori was having one over on him. Surely...right?

Except Ori didn't show signs of cracking a smile any time soon, and Kili's throat was turning drier and drier by the second. He tried to go over memories to convince himself that Ori's assumption was wrong. But the thing was that it only made more sense. Fili had pestered him to dance. He had showed more and more anger towards Dwalin as of late. Come to think about it, he had never liked him even when everyone else was still nice to him.

Kili did the only thing he could do; he panicked. Fumbling with his wallet, he grabbed a few small bills and put them on the bar.

"I-I should get out of here. Please tell them I'm so, so sorry." 

On his way out, he slammed into Legolas' shoulder with a muttered apology. 

"What's his deal?" the blond plopped down in Kili's vacated stool. "Mr. Dwalin stand him up?"

"I think he might be a little under the weather," Ori hastily explained, beginning to mix Legolas' favorite cocktail. He felt awful for Fili, considering Kili's reaction to the news, and wasn't about to talk about it further.

"He'd better not call in sick tomorrow," Legolas picked up the offered drink and drained half of it in one gulp. "Tomorrow's our busiest night of the week."

He leaned back coolly in his chair as Thorin's Spirit in the Sky shaman number began. Damned if that man didn't look incredible in fawn-colored fringed leather.

\- - - - -

Kili barely got home. He stared at his reflection throughout the ride on the subway. A lady looked at him oddly from the corner of the car, which didn't surprise him, still wearing his usual club get-up as he was, but this time he just let her.

He nearly missed his stop.

Kili felt terrible about leaving. He thought about how it would be, to dance with Fili now, knowing what he'd just found out. Kili would be terrible, and Fili most likely worse so. Kili always wore his heart on his sleeve. He wouldn't be able to keep his confusion to himself. Right now, he wished that for once he could.

It was on his doorstep that he recalled the way Fili had been dancing that night.

That had been for him.

_Oh, God._

\- - - - -

Fili had a half an hour to kill before he was needed on stage again, so he decided to head out to the bar for a bit. He toweled off the perspiration that had accumulated during the Dark Angel number. He wasn't sure what had come over him exactly—anger, jealousy, then seeing Kili actually paying attention to his dance—but he felt like he'd outdone himself.

This was confirmed a few minutes later when Bombur came into the dressing room. "I'm no bank teller," the hefty stagehand cautioned him, "but I'd say that last number made you quite a tidy sum," he handed Fili the trash bag of swept-up cash. 

Fili reached inside and pulled out a handful of twenties and handed them to the redhead. "Then, dinner's on me," he smiled. "Thanks for all you do, Bombur." When he was gone, Fili opened the combination on his locker door and stowed the bag inside. He slipped into his walk-around leathers and checked himself in the mirror.

He brushed out his mussed hair until it shone like spun gold, then touched up the kohl around his eyes. He was eager to hear how Kili liked the number. Maybe now that he had more cash, he could do something special for his friend. Nothing would rival one of Dwalin's financial escapades, of course, but it was a start. With a smile, he left for the bar room.

Kili was however nowhere in sight, his stool now occupied by a smug-looking Legolas. 

"Hello Legs, Ori," he nodded at the bartender, hopping onto the stool next to Legolas. 

Ori began preparing him a club soda, dreading the question that was bound to follow.

"Where's Kili?"

Legolas just smirked and turned back to watching Thorin dance.

"He left, Fili," Ori told him, slipping a straw into Fili's drink. "I—" he shot a look at Legolas, then leaned in close, "Kili really enjoyed your dance. I could tell." Ori actually had tears in his eyes. "And I fucked up, Fee," he confessed. "I'm so sorry!"

"Ori..." Fili slid his drink aside, "...what did you say to him?"

"He was so _into_ it," Ori told him nervously. "He knew you were dancing for someone. But he was so clueless...and I want so badly to see you happy..."

"Oh no," Fili raised his hand to his mouth. "You... _told_ him?"

"It just came out." Ori's eyes were wide and fearful. "You should have seen him, Fili. He was all over you. I was just trying to push him in the right direction."

"Oh, god... _Ori,_ " Fili could barely get the words past the tightness in his throat. He picked up his drink with a trembling hand and took a long sip. Then another. He wanted to be angry with Ori, but that was next to impossible. Ori was terribly sweet and kind and was only recently coming out of his shell. "Wow, okay," he breathed more deeply, trying to level out his heartbeat. "So it's out there."

Ori nodded, cringing. "I'm sorry, Fee. It seemed like something he actually _wanted_ to hear. I guess I was wrong," he said sadly. 

"Yeah," Fili sighed. "I suppose so."

He was desperate for a drink. A _lot_ of drinks.

\- - - - -

It was on the other side of the city that Kili contemplated sending a message to his friend. Leaving early didn't sit well; especially because it had been more like sneaking off. His thumb hovered over the keys, but no sane words came out. He continuously erased the beginnings of another lame sentence.

Well, what was he supposed to say anyway?

He thought about calling Dwalin. But then what was he to say to him? His best friend liked him in a more than friendly way, had hinted as such on many occasions, and he didn't know what to do with it now? Dwalin and he never talked much about those kinds of things. Kili frowned. Dwalin and he never talked much about anything. Why did he only realize that now?

Suddenly he wanted to go back. The room was too small—it made him think too much. More than that, he wanted to talk to Fili. He needed to hear this from his friend himself.

And so, thirty minutes and a rain shower later, Kili entered the Lair once again, though he was reluctant to pull his eyes up from looking at the floor.

He found Fili on stage with Thorin. The older man wore a pair of slate grey leathery wings, fashioned to look like a demon's. Curling silvery horns were mounted in the depths of his long hair, and truly looked like they were growing from his head. His barely-there thong was silver as well. This close up, it was impossible not to appreciate the cut plains of Thorin's body. Fili had never been into older men, but for Thorin he knew he would waive that standard. 

Fili wore the costume that had earned him his nickname with Bilbo — white feathered wings and a gold thong. A golden circlet looped round his head, under his hair, but visible across his forehead, simulating a halo. 

Normally, dancers at the Lair stayed open to the audience and made eye contact. But this particular dance was not meant to work that way. It was the only act at the Lair performed by two people. Bilbo had created it with Thorin and Fili specifically in mind. It was, for lack of a better term, a mating dance. Thorin was a demon trying to convince Fili into becoming a fallen angel. And he _always_ fell. It was a crowd pleaser. It also required constant eye contact with Thorin, not to mention intimate bodily contact.

They'd laughed together a lot while learning it, but they were not laughing now.

Kili didn't take his usual seat. He wasn't ready to face Ori's undoubtedly worried face, and he didn't want Bilbo to find him and ask him where he'd been. Bilbo would raise all sorts of questions that Kili felt uninterested in answering today. Instead he opted for a table in the back.

Fili moved gorgeously. So did Thorin. They looked like they belonged there. Kili didn't know how to respond to that, either. Fili certainly didn't seem to be missing him. He ordered no drink and slunk back into the shadows as he watched. 

The Angel and Demon dance was different in one other respect from the rest of Fili's repertoire. He didn't use a pole. Instead, they used each other. He was not the aggressor here, but when the angel finally gave into the demon's wiles—and who could possibly resist them?—he worked Thorin's body as lithely as he would a pole.

Thorin also seemed more aggressive and passionate than usual tonight. _Was it my dance earlier?_ Fili wondered, as Thorin drew their pelvises together, supporting Fili's mid-back with one strong hand while Fili arched back, his hair sweeping the floor. It was the only time during the number that his eyes left Thorin's face. But he felt Thorin's arousal shifting against him. It was always a factor and always a possibility. They were, after all, men.

Fili tried to clear his mind and _not_ picture demon-Thorin in his bed, fucking into him while wearing those horns. But the image was so powerful that he clung to it. Thorin eased him upright and their eyes met again. Thorin smiled crookedly. He slowly slid a hand into Fili's hair, easing his head to the side and kissing a line down his neck to his shoulder.

Fili gasped and felt his toes begin to curl and he knew things were going a little too far. He didn't care.

In the corner of the room, Kili was glad for the cover of darkness that hid him from prying eyes. This couldn't be how Fili danced if he knew that Kili had just found out; it simply didn't stroke well with this heated dance that fully convinced him that there was more between Thorin and Fili that met the eye. So he couldn't know, then.

Somehow, it still hurt.

Even if he didn't know what he wanted, he knew that it wasn't _this_.

It felt like Thorin was stealing Fili away from him. 

_Maybe,_ Fili thought to himself as the music swelled and bills fell around them, _I'm worrying too much._ He wrapped one leg around the back of Thorin's muscular thigh, gripping a handful of his thick hair with one hand and his shoulder with the other. After Thorin moved his mouth away from his neck, Fili pulled back to look his partner in the eyes once more. 

What he saw there ratcheted up his heartbeat and caused him to tighten his grip on Thorin's shoulder. The dance did not call for them to kiss, but he felt an overwhelming urge in both his heart and his groin to crush his lips against Thorin's, right there on stage. He took a deep breath, willing the feeling to pass. 

It didn't.

While hands roamed across Fili's skin and swayed him closer and apart in a rhythmic motion in which rubbing together was both too predominant and powerful for it not to be affecting them, Thorin tried at the same time not to give into that feeling. He felt it too, but there were rules.

Then, there was that niggling thought that Fili wanted Kili, and Thorin was not about to seduce a man whose heart belonged somewhere else already. It was a weak and losing thought though; for all he was concerned, Kili didn't know, and was on top of that involved with someone else. Morally, there ought to be no objections.

Once, their lips nearly skimmed.

They had to be thankful that neither of them saw Kili. The mood around him was growing into a black cloud, impermeable for anything good. As good as Fili and Thorin felt, as wretched was Kili now. He felt like he was just given something, something of which he wasn't sure whether he wanted or not, and it was suddenly snatched away and thrown tauntingly in his face.

The longer he stayed and watched, the more festering that feeling became. At the same time, he needed to know how it would end. He needed to see them turn away; he needed for the world to be right again. However twisted that right still was.

The number finally mercifully ended without either Thorin or Fili embarrassing themselves or the club on stage, thank God. 

Fili arrived backstage first and reached immediately for a towel and a bottle of cold water. He unscrewed the cap and took several long gulps, praying the chilling effect would reach his groin. 

Instead of using it to dry himself off, he held the towel self-consciously in front of his half-hard crotch, for he knew Thorin would be coming through the curtain into the backstage area at any moment.

When Thorin did, it was with the authority of a man not clad in naught but a thong and a pair of wings. He showed no embarrassment over being hard for his dancing partner and quirked a brow at him instead.

"Looks like something's gotten into you tonight."

At Thorin's choice of words, Fili surprised himself by bursting out in laughter. Suddenly, the tension lifted. 

"Yeah," the blond admitted. "I guess I am a little wound up. I think I need a cold shower. That number had a lot of...heat. Maybe Kili's right," he said ruefully. "Maybe I do just need to get laid."

"Kili said you needed to get laid?" Thorin looked carefully into Fili's expression. "And have you found someone fitting yet?"

Fili blushed and looked away from Thorin's scrutinizing blue eyes. "No one…appropriate," he smiled to himself. "Maybe I'm one of those guys who just doesn't need sex," he offered lamely. 

"So you don't need to get laid," Thorin stated. Truth be told, the main reason he was asking was to get Fili's thoughts on the matter. If Fili had said he wanted him for the night, there wouldn't have been a soul on the planet to stop Thorin from taking that, but he was also fine with the honesty that showed that Fili still cared.

Fili, meanwhile, nervously fiddled with the cap of his water bottle. He couldn’t meet Thorin’s eyes.

"It's still him, isn't it?" the older man asked.

"Tonight Ori flat out told Kili that I wanted him...that I _loved_ him," Fili admitted. "And he ran out of the bar. He went home. I think it's pretty fair to say he wants nothing to do with me."

He looked at Thorin, who, despite the sweat, looked incredibly sexy. "Tonight, on stage, it felt so _good,_. I felt wanted. I know it was pretend, but it felt so good to be wanted. So I went with it. Being with you, like that, I know it would be _amazing._ But you're right. I'd still be thinking about Kili."

Thorin smiled from under the towel that he was using to rub deep desaturated purple glitter from his hair. "And there's no shame in that. Should you ever not be thinking about Kili and feel like treating me to another one of those dances, you'll find the door open. In the mean time, do what you think is best. I don't believe Kili would reject you this harshly. If I pushed you into doing something you'd regret..."

But the longer they talked, the more painfully constricted Kili's throat became as he waited, and waited, for a sign that showed him he had nothing to fear.

"You would _not_ be pushing me, Thorin. I wanted so badly to just kiss you onstage tonight," his eyes followed a trickle of perspiration as it ran down Thorin's chiseled chest and stopped at his thong. "How is it that someone hasn't come along and snatched you up?" he broke from his trance and wet a washcloth at the sink, wiping under his arms and at his face. 

He still had one more number to do that night, and wanted to check the public area of the bar again to see if Kili had decided to come back.

"I'm fine here," Thorin grinned, "Making people want me and know they can't have me, it's a good feeling. And what makes you think I don't snatch someone up from time to time?" Just because he was discreet with those he allowed into his bed didn't mean he never got laid.

"But you should get ready. Need a hand with your outfit there? And you might want to have that taken care of," he gestured to Fili's half-formed erection. "I wonder what's keeping B.B.? He's usually here by this time."

Bilbo was actually wondering how he'd ended up in his predicament as he sat next to Kili on the couch of the booth where he had found him and patted him gently on his back, when everything had finally become too much for Kili—the video, the revelation, the dance he'd just witnessed—and he was burying his face against Bilbo's chest.

"Well, since you offered," Fili began. "The buckle for these wings is between them, in the middle of my back. I can't reach it. If you would undo it for me, I'd really appreciate it. And yours?"

The buckle came undone fast, and soon after that, Fili found himself presented with Thorin's muscular back. He pulled his long, thick hair to the side; it naturally fell over the clasp, heightening the illusion of a dark-winged demon on stage. Bilbo had invented that expertly.

His phone buzzed in the corner. Thorin looked at it as soon as the weight of the wings fell off his shoulders and he sighed. He got out of the last remaining parts of his costume on the way to his belongings and reached for a towel to hit the showers, while he checked his message. When he did, he groaned.

"B.B. says he's preoccupied, but if I could help you get into your next costume. He's vague about which one that'll be, but he says to make it 'a special one'. Whatever that means. I suspect there's a high profile guest in the club."

"I'm pretty sure the stagehands set up the pyrotechnics for the Phoenix number," Fili said. "Thorin, I'm sorry you're stuck doing this." He went to the costume rack. "I thought I might have a little break, but I guess not. He pulled out the glorious crimson phoenix wings. The small red thong was attached to one hanger and the tear-away red and gold tattered clothing draped over another. 

"Could you just buckle these wings on for me? That way I'll be ready in case the music starts up? God, I look awful!" he frowned, looking at himself in the mirror. He quickly towel-fluffed his sweat soaked hair.

"I'm sure you'll have some time to cool down first. At least five minutes, if you want to follow procedure." Thorin did his best to patch up Fili when he received another message and checked it in between adding small fixtures. When he read the message, he smiled.

"Change of plans. You can go slow on stage. B.B. requests it specifically. But don't take a lot of time to go up. They're on a bit of a tight schedule, he says."

That being said, he worked faster and had Fili ready in no time. "Leave the hair. It looks good, mussed up like this."

Fili rolled his eyes and picked up the bag full of hair appliances that went with the phoenix costume. Standing in front of the mirror, he secured six long blonde braids with assorted gold and crimson feathers attached at various points in his hair.

"What did B.B. mean by go slow?" he wondered. "The number's choreographed."

"Don't look at me," Thorin shrugged. He tapped Fili on the ass and said, "Off you go. I want to take a proper shower if I can." Though he wasn't going to have it just yet; that would wait until after Fili's next performance.

Fili had never felt less prepared to go on stage in his life, even though he was properly costumed, thanks to Thorin. With the memory of Thorin's hand still burning on his ass, he stepped into the wings of stage two. It wasn't long after his entrance that the music swelled and he stepped out onto the stage, momentarily blinded by the red and orange spotlights that simulated fire.

In that anonymous crowd that lay before him, with the bright spotlights at the beginning of his act preventing him from seeing features; in that crowd Kili had been about to leave. He'd been told to wait a little longer, been guaranteed that Fili would come out 'any second now', and it hadn't happened.

So, fully convinced that Fili's interests had shifted to his dance partner, Kili had given up and gotten to his feet. He was in the middle of pulling his coat around his shoulders when the music began and stilled him in his steps.  
He had no idea why he had waited for it, but it quieted something in him. He slunk back into his seat.

It was the last number of the night. Fili's high from dancing with Thorin had worn off and now he was feeling the despair of the implications of the knowledge that Kili had obtained from Ori. Right this minute, Fili thought to himself, Kili was probably with that horrible bastard Dwalin.

His sadness actually helped the dance become more believable. He was supposed to be a newly reborn phoenix, rising from the ashes. He'd left behind his former life and was about to start a new one. Maybe that was what he had to do now, he thought to himself, pouring himself into the dance. Maybe he needed to move away. He could always find another school—another AA group.

Maybe being away from Kili would take away the pain of having to see him so often. He lost concentration and got a little too close to one of the fire cannons. It went off and frightened him, the heat bringing him back to the present.

It was noticed.

Kili was no rocket scientist, but even a fool could see his distraction and the way he lost focus and nearly got hurt. He glanced at the bar, where Ori had the face of a man guilty. All these things couldn't just be the result of him going home.

That meant that Fili knew.

Kili rose from his seat. He apologized to Bilbo for leaving him and moved to the front of the stage. As an act, it was sad and not nearly as popular with the crowd as his earlier dance, so it wasn't hard to reach the front and move himself within the spotlight to reveal himself.

Kili prayed Fili wouldn't avoid him.

The kohl and his brush with being hurt made Fili's eyes look impossibly widened. Focused again, he swept his eyes over the crowd and noticed Kili slipping into a seat down front...right in front of the pole. Fili felt shame rise to redden his cheeks—not that it was distinguishable in all the crimson and his exertions.

He moved to the pole, eyes locked with Kili's. He wasn't sure if he was relieved or terrified, so he brought a little of both with him. The pole was lit up red and gold from within. Fili liked how it looked when he gripped it with his thighs and spun round it, wing tips and hair just brushing the floor. He tore away his red tunic and paused, eyes locked with Kili's. 

Kili, too, looked a little embarrassed. _Why shouldn't he be?_ Fili thought to himself. But he also looked mesmerized. Fili gave him a soft smile.

All that the younger wanted was to instill some kind of peace in him; some way of saying that he was here, and he wanted to talk. He wasn't here to enjoy the show. Frankly, with all the revelations of the day, Kili wasn't sure how to react to any of it. He didn't know whether to look at Fili and be in awe, or whether it would be best if he kept his distance.

He certainly had yet to make up his mind whether he wanted Fili to like him. Through smoke and reds and yellows, Kili knew at least that he didn't want to lose him over something so stupid as this. He had to go with that.

_Can we talk?_ he mouthed when their eyes locked. _Later?_

It had been supposed to be Kili in that outfit tonight. And it got more awkward when a man stood up from the audience to put a banknote under Fili’s thong, to which Fili had been instructed by Bilbo to always give people with a big tip an extra bit of a show.

Thankfully, the big tipper was seated close enough to Kili that the blonde dancer could continue to look his way. He knew he'd had a good night financially, and he had this audience to thank for it. He couldn't let his personal problems allow him to lose sight of that.

Resolve flooded his system. He wasn't going anywhere. No matter what happened with Kili later. This was his job—and he loved it. It wasn't so much how Thorin had explained it, making others want him. But there was a certain rush of power to be had, knowing every eye in the room was on him. It helped ease the pain when the one pair of eyes Fili wanted looking at him with lust did not.

The pyrotechnic canons fired again, but this time Fili was well clear of them. Sweat glistened on his body. He had the crowd eating from the palm of his hand, despite his lack of grace earlier in the number. Bilbo certainly knew what he was doing. The rest of the number was a blur. 

As soon as the song ended, Fili left the bright lights for the backstage area, where Thorin handed him a towel and a bag that he knew contained his half of the Angel/Demon take. It felt heavy.

"Did you give Bombur a tip?" he asked the dark-haired man, panting from his exertions.

"One that made him smile," Thorin agreed as he walked with him. He was going to have that shower soon. _Soon ___being the key word, because he took a last look at the audience and slipped into a jumper and some track pants. Then he was gone.

_Good luck, Thorin,_ Fili thought, as his friend hurried away in hope of conquest. 

He found Kili waiting for him in the dressing room. 


	4. A Kiss For Daddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili and Kili have "the talk." We find out Thorin and Thranduil have a past. Kili confronts Dwalin.
> 
> \- - - - - 

"Hey." Kili mumbled the words so quietly that Fili had to strain himself to hear. "Sorry about having left."

It was obvious to Fili that Kili didn't know what to talk about. His hands gestured awkwardly and he looked everywhere but at Fili. Thankfully, he did _want_ to talk.

"You earned quite a bit of money with that act with Thorin, didn't you?" he whispered.

"I haven't looked." Fili wiped at his neck with the towel self-consciously. "But," he admitted, "the bag's pretty heavy. Come in, Kee." Noticing Bilbo still hadn't come backstage, he asked his friend, "D'you think you could unbuckle these?" Fili indicated the wings. "It's in the back, between them. Sorry about the sweat. B.B. usually helps me out with them."

Kili snorted despite his awkwardness. "You just danced two numbers. What do you mean, sorry about the sweat?" He moved in and lifted Fili's hair to the side. For a minute it was like nothing had changed.

But when Fili shivered, so did he involuntarily do the same, quickly pulling away with the wings in tow.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Kili sighed to his friend's back—his eyes cast towards the floor. "That you like me."

"Because you were happy," Fili told him, taking the wings from Kili's hands and hanging them back up on the shelf. Instead of removing his thong, he wrapped a thin robe around himself. He felt funny, suddenly, being so exposed. "I didn't want to take that happiness from you. God, I wish Ori hadn't said anything."

He sat down at a nearby dressing table before a mirror and began removing the braids and feathers from his hair. 

Kili looked at him in the mirror. "No, I'm glad he did," he disputed Fili's statement. "Imagine how I would have continued to talk to you about Dwalin and I wouldn't have known that it'd hurt you? I just wished you would have told me. I've been so straightforward about him. And gods, the many times I pushed you to get laid..."

Now that he knew, Kili couldn't help but wonder. He couldn't help but compare Fili to Dwalin. As the winner of that mental deathmatch remained undecided in his head, he refused to act on anything.

"Can you give me time to get used to this? I mean, without taking a break? Because I really don't want to have to avoid you or have you avoid me. You're my best friend, Fili. I want to be able to still watch late night movies with you after shifts, or get that hookah geared up again. I'll tell you when I'm good with it."

"Take as much time as you need." Fili pulled some Kleenex from the container on the table top. "I'm just glad you came back. W—when you left," he sniffed, wiping at his tearing eyes, "I thought you might not come back—or that you'd do something crazy." A black tear coursed stubbornly through the kohl and he wiped it away. 

He locked eyes with Kili. "I was scared. I don't want to lose you, Kee. You're my life boat."

Kili's natural instinct kicked in. He surged forward and looped his arms over Fili's shoulders, pulling him into a hug. "Oh Fee," he sighed, "You wouldn't lose me over something like this. I'm sorry I walked out on you. I just, I freaked out. Ori told me the news like he expected me to break into a smile, and all I could think about was how you kept insisting on me dancing for you and I just...didn't know what to do. And then I came back, and you were dancing with Thorin like you'd already forgotten about me."

Kili took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"Too fucking much has happened these past couple of days. I wouldn't have been surprised if you had. Sorry for walking out. I didn't mean it like that."

"Dancing with Thorin is part of my _job,_ " Fili reminded him, savoring the luxury of having his arms around Kili's waist and his head against the brunet's chest. For the first time since he discovered Kili gone, he felt like he could draw in a full breath again. "That's all it is, Kee," he told him, not wanting to let go, but he drew away regardless, not wanting to make Kili uncomfortable.

"Well, yeah," Kili tried to reason, not wanting to let the dance he'd witnessed go without clarification, "but you've mentioned that it gets really hot sometimes, and it _looked_ like it was really hot. Just..." He fumbled and didn't know where to look. "It felt like you were trying to be snatched away by him. That really doesn't mean sense. I know. I'm talking nonsense, am I not?"

Fili shrugged. "What are your plans tonight?" he wondered, stuffing the hair accessories into their bag.

Kili sat down on one of the benches and pulled his feet up under him. "No plans tonight. I meant to be wearing that getup and getting on stage at the end of your shift, remember?"

Fili looked at him sadly. "I guess you're right. I might have let myself go a bit with Thorin tonight. When you're up there, with the fog and well... with _him_ ," Fili blushed, "it's hard not to get caught up. I suppose I threw myself into it so I wouldn't have to worry about how you were going to react to what Ori told you."

"And as far as you dancing—tonight— _no,_ " the blond continued. "It was just a stupid fantasy anyway," he muttered. "Look," he stood, "I should get dressed, Kee. It's been a long night."

"Oh!" Kili jumped up and looked about. "Right. Well. I'll be outside. But then we're—we're cool?" He edged towards the door. They never had trouble seeing each other get changed before, though things were different now. "I think I should talk to Ori anyway. Can we, um...I'd really like to have a drink together later." He left the response hanging, instead leaving the room with a tentative smile to give Fili some space and a chance to think about it.

When outside, Kili sat down at the nearest spot he could find and stared into nothingness.

It was too strange that this man thought of him like—oh. Too strange.

Inside the dressing room, Fili bit his lip, stomach rolling nervously as he slipped out of his thong. He took a small shower for a quick rinse, just to get the sweat off. Kili was waiting for him... but why? He'd just told him he needed time.

Shaking his head, he toweled off and quickly got dressed in jeans, a t-shirt and sneakers. The bags of crumpled bills Bombur had brought him presented a bigger problem. He kept a bank deposit zip-bag in his backpack, but tonight, based on his estimates, he'd made far too much to cram in there. He wasn't about to leave the money in his locker though. Anything could happen.

Taking five minutes to pull out the bags, he attempt to stack up the bills. While there were a few $1 in the mix, most were $5, $10, $20 or higher. He couldn't believe it, even when he was holding it in his hands. He put as much as he could into the zip-bag, then used hair ties from Bilbo's cache to secure the rest, in rolls, at the bottom of his backpack. He stuffed a few twenties in his pocket, and left for the bar room. God, he hated carrying around that kind of money. 

Kili had soon found Ori at the bar, and taken a seat. Truth be told, he did rather want to leave and be alone. But he also knew that if he did, he and Fili were going to be awkward for a long time—longer than just flat out rejecting him would be. Besides, he had a shift the next day and he wasn't going to call in sick there, too.

"Hey," he offered to the man at the bar and chuckled at the look of surprise he got from Ori. "Get me a coke? Nothing too strong here. Oh, don't look at me like that. I haven't said or done anything, because I know that's what you're thinking about right now."

Thorin sat down next to Kili and looked him over. "Back?"

This time, Kili was less amused. He nodded. "Thanks for not devouring him there."

"Hey now," Ori smiled, setting the soda down in front of Kili, "dancers aren't allowed to kiss. It's in the rules." Ori was all about the rules. "But, oh, tonight I was so sure you two were going to cross that line. And, I have to be honest, I wouldn't have minded seeing _that_ one bit." He blushed and turned away to wash more glasses.

Kili sat open-mouthed as he stared at Ori's back.

First he'd told him Fili wanted him, because of what Kili could only assume was the hope that they'd end up together—maybe Ori disliked Dwalin too, but he would never use that as an excuse or a reason to disrupt two people's friendship—but now, he outwardly announced he would have liked Thorin and Fili to make out.

His mood again kicked back a few notches, and he let Thorin go into details about their dance to further egg Ori on—Thorin loved that—while he wondered more and more why he was here again.

As soon as Fili got there, he hoped he could persuade him to have a drink at his place. Or anywhere else but here.

"I'm so glad I don't have to dance tonight," he threw in completely randomly, and completely intentionally off-topic, because Kili suddenly couldn't stand the topic. "Imagine that."

"Hey," Fili joined them breathlessly. "Sorry to make you wait." He leaned in to whisper in Kili's ear. "I'm carrying a lot of cash tonight. Nights like this make me wish I had a car." He climbed onto the stool next to the brunet. "Can I have a club soda, Ori?" he asked the bartender. "If it's not too much trouble."

"I just would have liked to see you two kiss," Ori explained, setting the glass on the bar and filling it with fizzy liquid. "Would have livened things up around here. And, as you can imagine, I don't get a lot of action," he said sadly.

Thorin huffed out a laugh, but Fili felt sorry for the redhead. 

Kili, who did not at all like thinking about them kissing, instead grabbed onto Fili's other remark. "Yeah? How much money did you make?" He wished they would just end the subject.

"I wasn't really counting," Fili told him, less comfortable with the subject of money than the subject of kissing Thorin, "but it was... substantial. We can throw it on the bed at my place and roll around in it if you like." He chuckled. "That's always fun."

"Absolutely," Kili grinned. For the time being, he ignored their plans being made on a bed and involving rolling around on it with Fili. It still beat the equation with Fili and Thorin making out on stage. "So how come you're the only two dancing together? I mean, Thorin should dance with Legolas some time. It sounds like it could be an interesting combination."

Despite the obvious fact that nobody liked Legolas very much for being the son of the owner; Thorin at once scowled. "And break a nail on his fingers and have to report to the boss himself? No thanks."

Kili grinned. "What about the boss himself? Hasn't he been a dancer in his past too? I think it's been far too long since he set a foot on stage."

"Thranduil's a very good dancer, in fact," Fili told him. "I heard a rumor from Bilbo that years ago he and Thorin used to do a very well-received number together. Is that true, Thorin?"

"Mh," Thorin grudgingly nodded. "We used to. And he was good. Whenever we did our act together, money was practically raining down on us. Then he changed and everything became business, intent on getting more money, and calculated. I don't think he'll dance any more. I wouldn't bet my money on it. But if he would, he's the kind who would sit in an audience and research the best angles, the moments a crowd goes wild. There's no love for the job in him left."

"But I'd love to see him dance again some time," Kili nodded. Thranduil dancing would be strange. But good. And certainly better than Thorin and Fili.

"Well, he hired B.B. to study the crowd, research trends… and all the rest of what he does. And B.B.'s done incredibly well," Fili sipped his club soda. "What sort of act did you do with Thranduil? What did you wear?"

In the four years he'd been working at the club, he'd never seen Thranduil on the stage. His curiosity was piqued. Ori, too, came over to listen.

Thorin found himself in the center of attention and had no other way out than to deal with it. "You'll think it's funny, but I played a dwarf. He was a high elf. We played at loathing each other on stage for so long that it became ingrained. He wouldn't want to dance with me anymore, like I wouldn't be able to stand sharing the stage with him. He was...popular. The Lair didn't yet exist, back then. We worked together in a different club. He quit because he wanted to create something of his own, and he asked me to follow, which I did. But I think he only danced in his new club for half a year before he gave it up in favor of running the place."

"Well, regardless of his choice, no one can argue with his success," Fili concluded.

Ori, naturally, wanted to know more about the dance. " _You_ played a dwarf?" The redhead regarded the powerful man at the end of the bar. "It's too bad there's no recordings of those dances. I would have liked to see them."

"Ugh," Legolas groaned, "would you people please stop talking about my father dancing? It's part of his life he wants to forget about. He was young and just trying to make ends meet!" He angrily hopped off his stool. "He wouldn't like you talking about it," he concluded quietly, and very out of character. "Just...drop it."

But Fili could tell that Thorin had plenty more knowledge of the subject. Although his face had remained neutral during the discussion, Fili had been his dancing partner long enough to see the subtle clues. Thorin and Thranduil had been more than just partners.

"Aye," Thorin said. "It's a part of his life he'd rather forget about." He looked at Legolas, who had never liked him that much. Thorin knew why. He was not his mother, so he'd had no right to be with his father. He chose not to say. "Thranduil won't dance again."

"What a shame," Kili pouted. "I bet lots of people would come if it were like an exclusive night or something." He rolled his piercing between his teeth absently.

"Maybe we should have a night like that. We could get Ori up there—only if you want to," he said to the quickly nervous waiter, "—but if you would, I promise I will too. And you know how much I suck at it. Who knows, it might be fun for you, because I guarantee that when you're up there, men will want you."

" _All_ the employees could dance," Fili mused. "Who wouldn't want to see Bombur shaking his groove thing? And you of course," his eyes met Kili's. "B.B. already has a costume designed for you, if you ever decide you want to take the plunge," he added.

By now, Legolas had left. "Wow," Ori marvelled. "A nearly human reaction from Legolas. And here all this time I thought he was a Vulcan or something." He turned back to his work.

Thorin chuckled. "Don't be too hard on him. He dances in his father's nightclub. His life hasn't exactly been easy."

Kili wasn't really interested in Legolas though. "He has an outfit prepared for me?" He laughed nervously. "Wow, you've really been working on getting me up on that stage."

Right at that moment, Bilbo joined the fray.

"Ah, Kili, my friend," he clapped Kili on the shoulder upon hearing the conversation. "I don't have a costume _made_ for you, of course... but I certainly have something in mind. You wouldn't believe the ideas that pass through this brain of mine, late at night when I'm home alone with my cats and a bottle of wine."

Fili chuckled. "Tell him about it, B.B.. It's very inspired." He blushed down into his drink.

"I envision you dancing with Fili, of course," Bilbo began, "... as the Devil. Or, if you'd rather not be the Devil, then an imp of some sort. Very red, horns, red wings. Red is your color, darling," he cupped Kili's face with both hands. "With that gorgeous head of hair and those giant brown eyes... you'd have them riveted. I mean _look at you._ "

Fili bit his lip nervously, awaiting Kili's reaction. Ori only sighed sadly and began dusting the bottles along the back wall of the bar.

Although he was momentarily distracted, Kili did notice Ori's expression. "Oh no," he shook his head, "I'm not getting up on that stage unless Ori is. And you'd better make him the star of the night. Well, apart from Mr. Thranduil, if we could get him to join in." He wasn't going to let this put another dent in his friend's already low self-esteem. "If I have to, I'll dance with Ori myself. Sorry, Fee. But we're all in this together." 

And Fili's feelings for him aside, Kili wanted Ori to get lucky for once. The man deserved it. Well, apart from that minor slip in supporting Thorin and Fili kissing. 

"We all know that Ori is packing a smoking hot body under those baggy clothes," Fili said, although it was very out of character for him. "Thranduil wouldn't have hired you if weren't," he said to Ori. "Am I wrong?"

Ori blushed deeply and lowered his head shyly. "I _do_ work out," he whispered.

"Well, of course you do. You work out with me," Fili smiled. "Why not take that adorable little faun costume B.B. made for you to wear when you wait tables—and take it up there into the spotlight?"

"I couldn't do that," Ori said softly. 

"I'm sure you could," Kili jumped in. "You'd be the cutest one of us yet. You bet people want to see that. There've been quite a few customers who asked me whether there was a set time that you danced, so they could wait up for it. Besides, we don't need to do this tomorrow. I'm sure those who are actually good at it—" he looked at Thorin and Fili "—could teach us some tricks."

Oh, the things he would go through for a friend.

Thorin soon underlined his statement. "Absolutely."

Bilbo started talking about an idea he had for a Faun and Faerie number, but Fili had locked eyes with Kili and was smiling. 

"You," he told his friend, "are very sweet."

Kili didn't know why that made him self-aware, but fighting the blush that was appearing on his cheeks proved harder than he thought. "Well, somebody has to show him how many people think he's wonderful."

Fili's eyes searched Kili's face. "He's so lucky to have a friend like you," the blond told him. "We all are." He closed his hand over Kili's forearm, resting on the bar.

Kili sat flustered. "You guys..." He stirred his drink with his straw awkwardly. "This isn't about me here. Aren't you all awesome? And I'm not saying anything that isn't true."

When the music grew loud again, he was momentarily distracted by Legolas appearing on stage, and nodded towards him.

"Do you think he wants in on our plan?"

"I'm sure he'd at least want to dance," Fili said. Legolas was always eager for an opportunity to show of his—admittedly—cut, lithe body. "But I doubt he'll help us talk Thranduil out of retirement. And, to be honest, I don't want to make any waves with Thranduil either." 

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Ori. The redhead had retreated into the stockroom behind the bar and was only visible from where Fili and Kili were sitting. Ori was dancing with a broom in his hand, writhing to the pulse of Legolas' number. "Look," Fili said softly to Kili, and inclined his smiling face in the direction of the stock room.

Kili's smile broadened. "He'll be the talk of the night. I don't get why he thinks nobody wants him. It's because he declines everyone that they only want him more." He bumped his shoulder with Fili's. For the duration of that moment, they were just Kili and Fili—not friends with that uncomfortable knowledge of one desiring the other between them, but not simply friends either. And Kili found, without seeing it within the scope of any potential, that he liked it.

"Thanks," he whispered, "for not treating me any different."

"Now, why would I treat you any differently?" Fili smiled, blue eyes focused solely on Kili's face. "How _I_ feel hasn't changed." His heart was stuttering in his chest. 

Kili nodded. "Keep it that way for a while." It was like admitting the earth was round after decades of foolhardy persistence that it was flat; it was scary. Thankfully no one else seemed to be listening in, or it would have been even worse.

He was going to have a day for himself, to really figure out what he wanted.

Ori took that moment to move back behind the bar and Kili was thankful for the distraction. "We should ask Thranduil if he would allow every one of us dancing," he said, "If you agree with it, Ori."

Just like that, all hopeful eyes were on the poor man behind the bar.

"I—," Ori began, quietly. Then he looked to Kili for strength and said in a more secure voice. "Yes, I suppose I could give it a go."

"A toast," Bilbo raised his glass. "To new-found courage—on many of our parts!"

"To Ori and Kili," Thorin agreed and heaved a toast.

Kili stuck out his tongue, but he took a large gulp nonetheless. "To whatever we've gotten ourselves into!"

His phone rang, but now was not the time to be answering. Not with the loud music on the background, and not with the moment that he refused to break. He pressed the call away. "More drinks!"

“To Fili,” Ori said, locking eyes with his friend, “for a profitable evening of stellar performances!” He began filling glasses.

Fili blushed. “I just got lucky,” he readjusted the weight of his backpack, held carefully on his lap. “It was a good crowd.”

“Uh huh,” Bilbo leaned in conspiratorially, “and I’m sure your ass and your attitude had nothing to do with it.”

“B.B.!” Fili groaned, visibly embarrassed.

Kili ignored the comment, instead nodded to the making lots of money part. "To getting enough money to pay for that degree," he slung an arm around Fili's shoulder and rubbed his hair until it was tousled. "That being said, I should really go now. I know I promised an after hours dance, but I'm really tired."

Apologetically, he gathered his coat and hung it over his arms. "I'll see you guys tomorrow." One more mirthful glance was given to Ori. "You'd be so nice on stage." Then he saluted the lot the way he loved to comically do and went home.

Ori turned back to his customers and B.B. retreated backstage to help Legolas. Fili was silent for a bit, staring morosely into his drink. He looked at the clock on the wall, then at Thorin. 

“Thorin?” he asked finally. “Do you think you could drop me home tonight? I’m carrying a lot of cash and … well, I would feel safer if I had a ride.” 

A curt nod made clear that it was no trouble to the older. "Sure," he said, and leaned closer, "But you'd better not be keeping all that money stored inside your house." Finishing his drink, he got up, reached for his coat and smiled. "Come on then."

\- - - - - 

Kili woke up with a massive hangover. He had a day off at his regular job, which was technically a day he was supposed to spend 'sick', but he decided to call in better first thing when he woke up, no matter how much he felt like shit.

The next hour was spent trying to get some more sleep to no avail, which only added to the headache. He really, really shouldn't have decided last night that getting some more alcohol in his system was going to help him sleep faster, instead of the thinking that he couldn't seem to switch off.

Well, at least he had managed to switch off the thinking.

It had to be around one in the afternoon that he finally felt decent enough to face the world. Kili messaged Dwalin at one-thirty to see if they could meet. He was surprised when he received an answer straight away.

"I'm in the neighborhood," it said. "How about now?"

"Can I swing by and pick you up?" the next text said, when Kili didn’t immediately reply.

"Sure thing!" Kili replied in his usual manner, though the motions were slightly mechanical. He looked at the door and didn't really feel like facing either Dwalin or Fili today, but he could hardly crawl under a stone and hide from the world there.

Five minutes later he put the butt of a cigarette between his lips and got out. The weather was nice, and he could also wait on his front step.

Dwalin pulled up in a black SUV minutes later. “Kili, darlin’,” he exclaimed, cupping the younger man’s cheek when he climbed into the vehicle. “You look a little rough around the edges this afternoon.”

"Hangover," Kili easily brushed it off. He got comfortable in the seat and took his time studying Dwalin as the man drove. Still wildly attractive, he thought. And fucking great in bed. He wondered if that meant he had to give Fili bad news.

They didn't speak much, so eventually Kili was forced to ask, "What were you doing in the neighborhood? You got an appointment? And where are we going?"

He suddenly remembered, and brightened up considerably. "Thanks so much for handling that internet thing. I hope not much was stolen when they took it. Do you think—" oh, he realized just now, "—they wouldn't post it again, would they?"

“I don’t think there’s any danger of that,” Dwalin told him, keeping his eyes on the heavy traffic. “I put the fear of God in them, if you catch my drift,” he smiled and put a meaty hand on Kili’s thigh, sliding it up towards his crotch. His hand caught on a rip in Kili’s jeans.

“Honestly, Kili,” Dwalin huffed, “you could take a bit more care with your appearance when we’re out together. I have a hard time telling people you’re my son when you look like a ragamuffin.”

Right. Then there was the fact that they still couldn't be seen together. Kili squirmed away from the hand. "Well, I'm _not_ your son."

“Well, of course not, darlin’, but sometimes I have to make people think that, don’t I? Folks I deal with day-to-day know I’m a married man. But they don’t know my children. At the very least, I can introduce you and not hide you if I tell them you’re my son,” Dwalin explained. 

He pulled the black vehicle into the parking lot of an out of the way diner and slid the gear into park. “Now, come on over here and give Daddy a kiss,” he inclined his head.

Kili easily slid into his lap. He feigned half his enthusiasm; he would have jumped on Dwalin two days back, and he was sure it was mostly his thoughts preventing him from doing the same thing now. The kiss they shared was a lot less passionate. Though from Kili's words, the only thing Dwalin could conclude was that he was unhappy about their secrecy.

"We shouldn't have to sneak around if you told your wife, Dwalin. You promised me you would."

“Believe me Kili, no one wants out of their marriage more than I do,” Dwalin told him. “But when you're in a position as visible as mine you have to exercise caution. Even if I told her about us right this minute, it would still be some time before I'd be able to tell the world about you. You understand that you have to stay secret for some time, don't you?”

The muscular man wrapped his arms around Kili and held him tightly. “I want you so much, baby boy,” he told him. “I need to take you somewhere private again soon.”

Kili was losing his appetite. "So we're doomed to hotels and cars for some time to come." That was what Dwalin was saying. "Tell me true, Dwalin. Could someone like me ever fit into your life?" He traced the line of the man's suit slowly, following it with his eyes so he didn't have to look up at him and give away too much. Unfortunately he could only take that so far until his hand ventured too low.

"Must we talk about this now Kili?" the contractor wondered. "We get so little time together and I could think of so many better ways to spend it. Can't you?"

He reached behind Kili's head, pulling free the hair tie and letting Kili's hair cascade down his back. "I don't have to be at work until 3 o'clock," he told him, "Why don't we climb in the back?"

That's what they always did; climb in the proverbial back. Whether they booked a hotel, or they met at Kili's place—not Dwalin's favorite, but still the location where they ran the least chance of being found out—they always followed the same patterns. They met up, had great sex, and then went on with their lives.

It wasn't a relationship.

They never sent each other sweet messages. Except if they were along the lines of 'I want you so bad'. Kili _wanted_ sweet messages.

"It matters to me," he said. "Am I going to one day fit into your life? Or will you keep me as some dirty little secret that no one knows about?"

“You've always been such a good, sweet boy, Kili,” Dwalin told him, unbuttoning his own shirt. “Now you're so full of questions. You are making this much more complicated than it needs to be. We have such fun don't we? And don't I take care of you? Whatever you need darlin’, all you have to do is ask.”

“I need you in my life, Kili. I don't know how I'd get through the day if I didn't know I could see you at night. It's never going to be normal for us, but I swear I will take care of you.”

"It's never..." repeated Kili.

_It was never going to be normal for them._

Fili would never put him through that. Fili, who was loyal instead of financially providing.

"I don't want you to take care of me," Kili said with sadness. "I only want you to be proud of what we have together. I want you to show me to your friends, and not as your son. To be able to kiss you in public without it being a secret. I am tired of it being an affair, Dwalin. I want more than that. But you're never going to tell your wife, are you? I mean, look at the number of chances you've had to do it."

Dwalin looked down at his powerful hands. "What's gotten into you, sweet Kili? Has someone come along and offered you something better? Is it your friend from the club—the one you spend all your time with—that little blond Angel?" Dwalin suddenly looked predatory. "Don't look so surprised, Kee. Yes, I follow you sometimes. I think he likes you too. I could buy him for you, if that's what you want. Have you both," the contractor raised his eyebrows. "How would you like _that?_ "

"You _followed_ me?" 

Kili was appalled. He made to get up, though he was kept in place easily. "Yes, he likes me. So what if he does? I'm asking you if you'd ever treat me like a partner. Fili has nothing to do with that, but at least he wants me as a partner and not a convenient fuck. Why shouldn't I be allowed the same? Let me go, Dwalin." He scoffed. "Not everything you want is for sale."

 _Especially not Fili._ To think so was preposterous.

"I followed you," Dwalin confirmed. "I like to keep an eye on my associates.”

“Have you ever seen a building demolished, Kili?" he then asked, seemingly out of the blue. "It's not unusual for them to find a few skeletons in the concrete of the foundation. It's a great way to hide a body—for years and years, in fact. People who take things from me have a way of going missing, if you catch my drift.

"Now, you and I are going for a little drive and we're going to get a room. We are going to continue our…arrangement. And it _is_ an arrangement, little Kili. Have you been blind to the money I give you each time we get together? I'm doing us both a favor by keeping it quiet." Dwalin started up the truck.

Kili hadn't earlier thought he could suddenly feel such hatred towards his former lover. Former, he reinstated in his mind, because he wasn't going to put up with this. Kili had taken a lot from Dwalin, and he had loved it. But not this. Dwalin did not own him, and he certainly wasn't going to threaten him or one of his friends. Especially not with ending up in concrete.

Though it did hurt him to find that someone who had promised to leave his wife for him, was willing to go there.

So Kili nodded in resolution.

"We're done, Dwalin. I'm sure you'll find someone else who wants this more than I do. There's no need to make this hard on ourselves with violence." He opened the door before the truck could take off, and made sure to be careful not to let Dwalin grab for him as he got out.

Truth be told, his heart was hammering a thousand beats per minute.

Dwalin Fundinson was not the kind of man who liked loose ends—in his business or in his life. Thankfully Dwalin knew exactly where to find his loose ends this time.


	5. Inferno

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit gets real when Dwalin threatens The Lair and those inside it.

"So, how much was it?" Ori asked as he worked his quadriceps, sweat dripping from his brow.

Fili sat at the machine next to him, and, up to that point, their workout had been fairly quiet. Fili didn't like to talk about money. "It was my best night ever," he admitted finally.

"Yeah?" the redhead prodded. "How. Much?"

"About eleven hundred dollars, "Fili whispered. "I deposited it this morning."

"I am _so_ getting up on that stage," Ori said, eyes full of resolve.

Another redhead sat down on Fili's left. "Gloin," Fili brightened at the sight of the gym's owner. "How'd your morning go?"

"Dreadful," the businessman frowned. "I had that meeting with Dwalin. It was just as you thought it would be. He wants the building. The whole complex in fact. The money he's offering me is quite good...but the implications on my tenants," he sighed. 

"Did you...?" Fili left the question open-ended.

"Yes, I recorded the conversation, like you suggested," Gloin told him, glowering. "Bastard threatened me and my family. Even my son Gimli who's at university! You can bet I want to see this douchebag suffer."

Outside the gym, Kili looked around uncomfortably. He had never been to this gym before. Well, to any gym, actually. As he entered, he glanced nervously at the many men doing squats and working to pump up their egos—though he didn't share that sentiment about the three men in the corner.

"Hi," he grinned with elation when he found them. Some of the men had definitely been checking him out. Kili didn't feel like grinning, but he kept up appearances for reasons of his own. He was here just to see Fili and to guarantee to himself that he was fine; he wasn't planning on telling him about Dwalin. Kili still felt shaky when he thought back on it. Nobody had threatened him or his friends' life before. He still had no idea how he'd been able to keep so cool.

"There you are. I thought I'd drop by. Got a little bored." Kili's grin widened as he leaned on an unoccupied machine. "Looking good there."

"Kee," Fili smiled. "What on earth are you doing here?" Kili knew several Lair employees worked out at The Forge, but Kili had never come in the doors—until now. He examined his friend's face carefully. "Are you all right?"

Having been a behind a bar long enough to know how to fake enthusiasm, Kili easily nodded. "Of course I am. You?" He smiled at Gloin and Ori, but his focus was on Fili. Kili wondered if he couldn't tell Fili half the truth. Which, when he thought about it, he had a moral obligation to do.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a bit? In private?"

Ori shot the blond a look, smiling slyly.

"Uh, sure," Fili got up, towel in tow. "Let's go to the locker room." He inclined his head towards the back of the gym for Kili to follow him.

When they got inside, and were alone, Fili said, "Something's wrong. I can tell."

The first thing Kili did was sit down on a changing bench. He waited until Fili took a seat as well. The nerves of the afternoon kicked back, and Kili rubbed his hands together for comfort.

"I went to see Dwalin today," he carefully started. Kili looked up to gauge Fili's response. But he didn't want to wait too long and make him worried about the wrong things.

"He found out about you. I didn't tell him, actually, but he knew. He's...he's not happy about it. Actually, he said some bad things. I'm telling you because I'm afraid of what he'll do. Just to be safe, please keep an open eye, Fee. If you see him, get out of his way for a while."

Fili, who was straddling the bench and facing Kili, took one of Kili's hands in his own. "I know he's been watching me. I see his black truck every now and then. He sometimes waits outside the church where I go for AA. I thought maybe it was because he was looking for you," he admitted, shrugging. "Are we _safe?_ " he asked. "I mean, to go home and to work? Is he dangerous, Kee?"

Kili didn't immediately respond. In fact, he looked a little faint and gray. Fili leaned forward and hugged his despondent friend.

"I have something on him," Fili told him. "Well, Gloin does. Dwalin has been trying to buy his properties on this street for a while, to develop. He met with Gloin today and Gloin made a secret recording of Dwalin threatening him and his family. If something like that were to leak to the press… well, Dwalin would be ruined. Maybe even his entire company."

For a while Kili opened his mouth, closed it and didn't speak. "Okay," he said at last and raised a finger, "First of all, Fee. If you've been trying to find dirt on the one I've been with, that's not cool. Even if you'd rather see him out of the picture, which I've understood loud and clearly by now, you'd better not be looking for things on him for personal reasons."

When that was said though, he deflated. "He's made some serious accusations. And I believe him. I don't see why unless he feels threatened, like it's some sort of territorial urge or whatever, but I wouldn't be here if I didn't think you should be concerned."

"Gloin spoke to _me_ about it," Fili said quietly, surprised by Kili’s reaction, "the sale and the meeting. I suggested he record it. It's not like I'm Sherlock Holmes or anything. I just wanted Gloin to protect himself. That's all." He sounded hurt. "I can't believe that Dwalin just threatened our lives, and you have the nerve to point fingers at _me_."

He stood. "I'll stay out of his way, Kili, don't worry. But I'm also staying out of _yours_ until you get your head on straight." Fili opened his locker and started stuffing clothing into his duffel bag. "I appreciate the warning," he said quietly, and left the locker room.

Kili sat with an open mouth. He hadn't meant it like that! He just...well, how had he meant it, really? He hadn't liked Fili looking up bad things about Dwalin because Fili thought that they were still together, but he would have been fine with it if Fili knew they were no longer together.

He still didn't fully understand how wanting more from Dwalin—probably because the prospect of Fili made him realise that he _could_ have more—had ended in him and Fili being threatened, and Kili with a certainty that he wanted out. But what should have felt like a relief now felt like he'd done something wrong once again. Fili was going to stay out of his way.

Kili didn't feel like returning to the company in the gym. He silently made his way back to the entrance and left.

Fili was two blocks from home when he heard the tell-tale rumble of Dwalin's monstrous truck. He turned to see Kili's lover behind the wheel, watching him contemplatively while sitting in traffic. Heeding Kili's warning, the blond ducked into an Asian grocery store and waited for traffic to move so Dwalin had to drive on.

When he did, Fili dashed out the door and back down the block in the direction he'd come, pulling out his phone to call Kili. "You were right," he panted when Kili answered the phone. "He's right outside my house. I'm going to the club, Kee." And he hung up.

Because Kili was at his wits' end, being first told that Fili would stay out of his way and then being told this, but worried nonetheless, he called Thorin and asked him to go keep an eye on Fili.

Thorin had better things to do than to head to the club three hours before his shift, but he did so anyway.

"Kili said you would be here," he said after he closed the door when he caught sight of Fili alone. "He asked if I wanted to keep an eye on you. Is something going on?"

Fili was sitting curled up on the dressing room couch in jeans and a Pink Floyd t-shirt. "It's Dwalin. He's been making threats against my life—and Kili's. He was nearly to the door of my apartment earlier, so I got scared to go home. I can't believe Kili made you come babysit me," he frowned. "The door's locked, right? He can't get in?"

"Yeah," Thorin told him. "Look, I don't know why he asked me to come here anyway. It sounded like he couldn't make it, though he wanted to. But that's a serious accusation, Fili. And Dwalin? How did that happen all of a sudden? Wasn't he Kili's boyfriend? What did he say exactly?"

"Kili wasn't very specific. Just that Dwalin had found out about me, wasn't happy and had made some threats. He was worried for me, I guess. And I suppose it's warranted. Dwalin's been following me around quite a bit," he shivered, even though it was warm in the dressing room. 

The dressing room door opened suddenly, startling them both. "Well, well, what are you two doing here so early?" Bilbo wanted to know.

"Uh," Thorin tried to relay what he'd just understood, "Kili's lover made a threat towards Fili. Right?"

He frowned, connected some dots, and asked Fili, "Why would he do that anyway? Kili's still his, isn't he?"

"Kili really hasn't said anything to make me believe otherwise," Fili said, voice tight. "I—I just don't know. He seemed so scared earlier. I told him I was coming here so he'd follow. I feel like we should find him and make sure he's okay."

Thorin was confused. "He sounded like he couldn't come for some reason, Fili. Not, I should explain, in the being held hostage kind of way. More like he didn't want to upset you. I've got no idea what's going on between you and him, and I'm not sure if you should tell me until you sort it out yourselves, but do you think there's a chance he might be in danger?" He glanced between himself and Bilbo worriedly.

Of course, they were still only employees of the club, and that meant that they didn't own the place. Footsteps made their way towards the dressing room and yanked it open.

"Oh, it's you," Thranduil said. "I thought I heard—Hold on. We're not opening until in a few hours. What are you doing here, the three of you?"

"Hiding out, it seems," Bilbo told his employer. "Dwalin Fundinson has been making threats to some of your employees, Thranduil."

Fili nodded in confirmation, dialing Kili's number on his cell phone.

His call, his third made to Kili since arriving at the club, remained unanswered,

"Dwalin Fundinson?!" Thranduil looked at them in distaste. "Why on earth does that ghastly man make threats against _you_? Is this about the property again? Because I've made it loud and clear when I talked to him last time, he was not going to have it. But that's been nearly a year." He sighed and snatched Fili's phone from his hands. "Good job. If he doesn't want to talk to you, of course he won't answer his phone. Come here."

He used his own phone so that the dial on Kili's phone would show Mr. Thranduil—not Fili.

"Wait and see," he warned his foolish employees.

But the phone remained unanswered.

"Okay. Now this is getting strange."

\- - - - - 

"Looks like your knight in shining armor went to the club after all," Dwalin told Kili, who was seething angrily where he was tied up and gagged on a hotel room bed. "I'm just guessing of course, but it looks like he just asked the boss man to call me too. No doubt they're all holed up there. Convenient. I've been trying to buy that place from Thranduil for nearly a year now. Once it's burned to the ground, it'll be a steal. Those high tech fire cannons can be such a hazard," the contractor tut-tutted, patting Kili's face affectionately. "It was very admirable of you to come to me to plead for your Angel's life. Of course, whoever happens to be inside The Lair at the time of the fire will be a casualty. Can't do much about that, can we, love?"

Dwalin lay a soft kiss to Kili's forehead. "Well, I'd best get going. You stay put now, darlin'. Tying up loose ends makes me very, very horny. I'm definitely going to need your services later," he smiled, shark-like, and left the room.

Dwalin swung by a storage unit he kept downtown full of items he used for the seedier side of his trade: rope, cans of gasoline, anesthesia, firearms. You never quite knew what a job might throw at you, and it was best to be prepared.

He put on a long trench coat, filling his pockets with a few goodies and carried two cans of gasoline to his truck.

Dwalin arrived at The Lair at the same time as Bombur. There were a total of three cars in the parking lot. "I'm so happy to see you," he told the hefty bouncer. "Kili left his wallet at my place and I was hoping I could drop it off for him before he starts his shift."

"We aren't open for customers yet," Bombur eyed him warily. "I'll take the wallet inside to him," he held out his hand.

"Just open the door, you big lummox," Dwalin leveled a gun at him, leaving little room for argument.

Bombur narrowed his eyes angrily. He was _not_ armed, and not taking any chances. Reluctantly, he used his key to open the front door of the club. "Just do what you came to do and get—" but his words were cut off as Dwalin hit him over the head with the butt of his pistol. The big man dropped like a stone.

Dwalin took fifteen seconds to drag the redhead behind the bar and out of sight. "Time to lay off the pizza," Dwalin panted, giving Bombur's inert form a kick.

The main room was empty, which meant any and all personnel on the premises were backstage. He'd studied the layout of the club enough to know what he had to do next.

\- - - - - 

In the solace of the hotel room, Kili racked his brain for what he could do. He stared at his phone, left for him just outside of reach to taunt him. Whatever he did, he couldn't reach it. He wasn't so much as scared of what came _after_ Dwalin's return, but what would have to happen before it. If Dwalin got back, then that meant he'd been victorious. Kili doubted he wanted to be mentally present when that happened.

He remembered that voice dial thing he had tried out when he'd first bought his phone. They had had quite a few laughs with that, Fili and he. But that required the use of his voice.

The same went for calling out for help.

If only he'd not been bound hand and foot, he would have been able to try some acrobatic stuff he'd seen in movies. But that was out of the question too. The hotel room even had a fucking carpet; wriggling around on the bed to see if he could annoy the neighbors down one floor was also not going to happen.

In the end, Kili was forced to admit that he was incapable of doing anything. And that scared him.

\- - - - - 

Thranduil, under the impression that employees had to answer calls from bosses and this, this would not do, tried two more times. Then he truly knew that something was wrong.

"Fili, Thorin, leave and find him. Try his flat, his other job, whatever. If you're not back before opening hours, we'll figure something out. B.B., with me. It's time to pay Mr. Fundinson a visit. I'm not taking any chances," to Fili and Thorin he said, "If you can't find Kili, alert the cops. This is a scumbag first class we're dealing with."

Fili pushed a few buttons on his phone. "There's still one more thing I can try. My friend at the police station, Sgt. Beorn, tipped me off to this. I'm not supposed to know about it, but...anyway," he entered Kili's phone number. "It's an app that tracks cell phone using the GPS chip inside them." 

He looked down, puzzled. "This says Kili's phone is at the East Park Hotel. That's, like, two blocks from Ori's house. I'm going to text Ori and send him over there to check it out. He'll certainly get there well before we can," the blond told him.

Then he texted Ori. _Think Kili is in trouble. Can you check East Park Hotel for signs of him? Emergency. Txt me and bring him to club if you find him. - Fili_

Ori, who had just climbed in bed with Legolas for a quick shag before work, debated over whether to check his phone. His relationship with Legolas—if you could call it that—was still in its infancy. He was relieved he'd checked it, however. "Legs," he told his lover. "We have to go."

\- - - - - 

Dwalin, meanwhile, stood outside the door to the dressing room. He heard all the voices inside. Determined to keep them there, he slowly and quietly slid a heavy shelving unit in front of the door so that it could not be pushed open from the inside. Now, the only way out was to come on stage. Using a flashlight as his guide, Dwalin snuck onto stage two and found his way backstage. Once there, the light under the dressing room door guided him towards his goal.

\- - - - - 

Of course, nobody at the East Park Hotel had heard of a man named Kili. They valued their guests' privacy and besides, there was no one by the last name of Durinson in the records. They certainly couldn't tell if Mr. Dwalin—a regular and an esteemed guest of theirs—was in.

They did, after insistent prompting, recall a young brunet walking in earlier, being escorted by a middle aged man, without checking in. Or so the intern who had been listening in and was less indoctrinated with hotel protocol and who didn't know who Dwalin was, supplied. He had thought it was weird. The hotel was too expensive for pick-ups. And it had certainly looked like a pick-up.

When he realized by the look of his manager that he had just lost himself his high level internship with the company, he quickly pushed a key forward. "Fifth floor, second door from the end of the hallway." When they didn't go right away, he added, "Go on then, before security stops you."

"Thank you," Legolas pocketed the key. "Let's go, Ori," he insisted, pulling his friend towards the elevator.

"Do we knock?" Ori wondered, pausing outside the door, looking nervous. 

Legolas bit his lip, thinking, then knocked sharply. "Room service!" he called. "Management sent up complimentary champagne!"

When no one answered, the blond slid the key into the lock and entered. What a sight met their eyes; Kili was bound, spread-eagled, to the bed, wearing only a pair of black boxer shorts.

"Kili!" Ori cried out, and rushed to untie his friend, starting by ripping the cloth gag from his mouth.

"Are you hurt?" Legolas asked.

There was no time to understand how this had happened—how Ori and Legolas had found him in a room that didn't bear his name in a hotel he had never announced he would go to. First gasping and trying to fix the muscles in his jaw, Kili looked at them wide-eyed.

"Are the others safe? Are they out of the club? He's going to set everything on fire!"

Behind Ori and Legolas, security arrived, but they did not move to take them in. When they saw the scene before them, and Kili obviously not the recipient of some bed game, one immediately requested backup while the other walked in.

"Are you alright?" the man asked. "What happened?"

Kili stared. "Don't just stand there!" he cried out with a shaking voice. "Do something! Get a police car to The Lair!"

\- - - - - 

Bilbo pushed on the door that led from the dressing room out into the main club area. It wouldn't budge. "Guys, I don't mean to alarm you, but this door seems to be...wedged." He pushed on it a few more times for good measure. Thorin joined in, if only to confirm the door was well and truly jammed. Bilbo's eyes were huge in his face. "Does this mean...he's here?" he whispered.

Fili went to the door on the other end of the dressing room that led to the backstage area and found it opened easily. "This way, guys! We can get out this—" his words were cut off as someone grabbed a handful of his hair and yanked him backwards painfully.

Fili found himself held tightly against a muscular chest, a gun digging into the soft flesh below his jawbone. "Hello, Angel," Dwalin said pleasantly to the struggling dancer.

Thorin started forward with a defensive growl and Dwalin turned the gun on him, shooting him in the thigh. Blood burst from the bullet wound. "Thorin, no!" Fili cried out.

"If any of you leave this room, I will shoot you," Dwalin told Thorin, Bilbo and Thranduil. "It's that simple. Stay put. I'll be watching the door," he started pulling Fili backwards out of the room and kicked the door shut behind them.

"You won't get away with this, Dwalin," Fili told him. "Whatever you're planning, the smartest thing would be just to get in your car and drive away."

"Is that so?" Dwalin dragged the blond across the stage towards the pole in the center. "And I'm to take business advice from a stripper now?" he laughed. "Get on your knees," he told Fili when they reached the pole. When the smaller man didn't comply, Dwalin roughly shoved him forward, slamming his head into the solid brass object. 

Dazed, and with blood running from a wound on his forehead, Fili felt his knees give out. He was dimly aware of Dwalin handcuffing him to the pole. "You seem to like it here, in this particular spot," he could hear the man say, but the sound seemed far away. "Just relax here a bit, Angel, while I get the party going."

Fili felt dizzy and slipped to a sitting position, leaning on the pole for support, cuffed hands slipping to its base. Dwalin, meanwhile, had jumped down to the floor and Fili heard the frightening, tell-tale sound of a metal gasoline can being opened and poured.

\- - - - -

As soon as Kili had gotten into his clothes again and found his feet to be properly steady under him, he refused to be stopped by hotel personnel that, though intending well, had no idea how pointless their attempts at getting him checked out really were.  


The police were on their way, according to security, but that did not mean they couldn't do anything themselves. Thank goodness Ori had a car. Kili hurried him to go faster and faster, terrified of something having happened. 

"Dwalin said he wanted to do something with the fire cannon," he said from the back seat.

It had never been about Kili and Dwalin, he realized. The whole thing was a set-up, meant to get closer to the club. It had always been about getting that property. Kili shook. How many more men had Dwalin handled this way? Any remaining flecks of devotion had left him; there was nothing left but betrayal turned into hate.

As soon as they parked, they saw a policeman outside making a phone call in front of a locked door. No doubt he had no intention of opening the door, because he was still calling for permission. Kili couldn't contain himself. He grabbed the crowbar the man was holding and started hitting the lock until it gave way.

"Kili, Kili, calm down," Legolas insisted, putting a solid hand on the man's arm. "I have a key. We all do," he reminded him. 

"Officer, we can't wait," Ori told the policeman, catching a glimpse of Dwalin's car, Bilbo's, Bombur’s, Thorin's, "There's a bad man inside, and he's planning to burn down the building. Our friends are inside, too," he added.

"We are _not_ going inside without backup," the policeman insisted.

Then, they smelled the smoke.

\- - - - - 

"Maybe I'll build my own club here," Dwalin mused, pouring trickles of gasoline around the stage area, none terribly close to Fili, but close enough to cause damage once they caught fire. "I'll call it Phoenix. It will rise out of the ashes… like that new number of yours. I wonder if _you_ will be as lucky?" he speculated, ruffling Fili's hair. The blond cringed away from his touch.

"I certainly made the right choice when I put the moves on Kili, didn't I?" Dwalin told him. "You, my friend, are as cold as ice."

"You’re repulsive," Fili told him, weakly. "You ruin people's lives. Kili was in love with you."

"Of course he was," Dwalin switched on the mixing board for the sound, lights and pyrotechnics and studied it for a moment. "I'm quite a catch. Ah, here we go. Fire cannon controller. Are you ready, Angel? This is going to be spectacular!" 

He pushed a button and a single fire cannon erupted, igniting a small puddle of gasoline Dwalin had spilled at the back of the stage. Fili's thoughts immediately flew to his friends in the dressing room, fearing for their safety. 

"Help!" he cried out, pulling fruitlessly at the handcuffs. "Fire! Help!" His head throbbed with the effort.

"Scream all you want, Angel. Anyone within earshot to save you is going to burn along with you," Dwalin menaced.

But Bombur _did_ hear Fili's cries and regained consciousness. The smell of gasoline was the next thing he noticed. Peeking up over the bar, he saw Fili onstage, apparently handcuffed to the center pole on stage two. The stage behind him was on fire. Bombur knew he needed to get some sort of tool to cut through the chain on those handcuffs if there was any hope of getting his friend out of there alive. He crept, on hands and knees, hidden behind the bar, towards the back store room.

\- - - - - 

As soon as Thranduil smelled smoke, he became livid. Compared to Bilbo, who had lost his cool, and Thorin, who, although injured, was still cussing like a sailor and threatening to go after Fili, he was the only one to come up with actual reason.

"That fucker's burning my club down. Listen," —things had just gotten personal—"If we stay here, we're going to die from smoke inhalation. I know his type. If we think we're protecting Fili by staying in here, we're not. He'll just kill him anyway. We're getting out of this room, and we'll have to do it now."

Because his employees were hopelessly slow on the uptake, Thranduil decided to take the lead. He opened the door and immediately backed away because of the smoke. Christ, there was a lot. If he didn't do anything soon, they were going to suffocate.

It wasn't the wisest thing he did, opening the emergency exit right behind the stage, but while the fire was fed with more oxygen and raged against the ceiling, so too at least the smoke could leave. "Fili!" he called out. "Talk to me! Where are you?"

Instead of Fili, he heard a police officer, Kili, Ori and his son.

\- - - - - 

Fili made himself as small and low as possible at the base of the pole. He knew he was going to die. Every breath he took was tainted with smoke and the fire was creeping closer and closer to his position. "Help!" he cried out one more time, "I'm over here!" but it only tapered off into coughing. He thought he saw some movement on the club floor, but it was probably smoke, or Dwalin running away. Burning would be painful, he thought to himself. He only hoped he passed out before the flames and heat reached him.

Bilbo, who had tied a tourniquet of leather lacing around Thorin's upper thigh, supported his friend as he hobbled through the smoke. He thought he heard Fili cry out, but couldn't see anything at all except the open emergency exit. He opted to get Thorin outside to safety.

Dwalin, meanwhile, had crept to the club's side door, and was just opening it to step outside to freedom.

None of the club's exits were meant to be inconspicuous—most of them exited onto the main street to make sure no shady businesses could be held where nobody saw it. Hence Dwalin's exit was only a few meters away from the exit behind the stage. 

As soon as Kili caught sight of him, he didn't think twice. He ran towards him, ignoring the presence of officers, and jammed the crowbar into his ex-lover's knees.

"Kili, darlin'," Dwalin gasped, limping away. "Wasn't expecting to see you here. I'd rather hoped you'd be waiting across town for me all gift-wrapped. As for your little friend, well, he's where he belongs; on the stage," he laughed low in his throat. 

"Fucker," Kili hit him once more before being held back by an officer, who made the mistake to not hold Kili down but rather the crowbar, and so he wriggled away easily. "Fili's on stage!" he called out to Thranduil. "I'm going back in!"

And he would have, too, hadn't the sound of sirens halted him then and there.

"You can't go in there, Kili," Bilbo insisted. "It's an inferno!" He sat with Thorin, who looked to be on the verge of passing out.


	6. Big Damn Heroes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fire at The Lair ...and its aftermath.

Bombur could barely see his hands in front of his face, but he knew the club's floor plan so well that it didn't make a difference. He had wet a dish towel and had tied it over his nose and mouth. He kept calling out Fili's name, but to his mounting terror, there came no answer. The flames were brighter in the stage area and he was able to make out Fili's form, pulled tight around the base of the pole. 

Fili’s eyes were barely open, but they grew slightly wider when he recognized Bombur. The big man didn't waste his time speaking. He quickly separated Fili's hands and used the bolt cutters he'd found in the back to sever the chain on the handcuffs. Bombur was growing increasingly dizzy however. By the time he'd freed the blond he could see that Fili had lost his own battle with consciousness. 

He had three choices of exit. Tossing Fili over his shoulder, he hoped he was choosing the right one.

When Kili saw them stumble outside, no one could hold him back; not the firemen busy trying to subdue the fire, nor the ambulance personnel who tried to get to the pair as quickly as possible.

"Bombur!" he called out, "You were...you were in there too? Is Fili—? Oh god, tell me he'll be okay!"

"Sir," the ambulance attendant said gently but firmly to Kili, "these two are in dire need of oxygen and medical attention. We have to work on them, I'm sorry."

Bombur, after he handed Fili off to Thranduil and Kili, could no longer stand. Although conscious, he eased himself down to a sitting position on the ground, panting heavily. He appeared to have some burns on his forearms and his eyes were tearing from the smoke.

One of the medics gently strapped an oxygen mask around Bombur's face. "This should help a great deal," she told him, rubbing his back soothingly. He thanked her with a thumb's up, his concerned eyes not leaving Fili's face.

The ends of Fili's hair had been singed and the soles of his shoes nearly melted by the heat. Unlike Bombur, he didn't appear to have received any burns, but it was hard to tell, as his skin was quite pink from the heat. The second attendant and one of the firemen eased him onto a stretcher and set him up with some oxygen. 

"He _looks_ good," the male EMT told those gathered around in concern. "Aside from the smoke inhalation, of course" he nodded, listening to Fili's chest with a stethoscope. "We'll know more when we get these three to the hospital," he told his partner. 

"He'll be fine?" Kili called from the distance at which he was being kept. He felt responsible for everything; if he hadn't started asking Dwalin questions, then Dwalin would have never— _no_ , Kili told himself. It wasn't his fault. It was that madman. He felt the need to jam that crowbar into his gut and claim retribution. Dwalin had played with his heart and trampled on it; he had played with them all.

There was only emptiness where once Kili had been willing to give up so much for the man who was currently being cuffed. He sank to the ground.

And Thorin...Thorin had even less to do with it.

Thranduil's club...

Kili sat and looked around him. Within one day, his whole life had gotten turned upside down.

An officer stopped in front of him.

"Kili Durinson?" he asked. "We would like your statement. Will you follow us to the station for a few questions?"

Oh, right. He'd almost forgotten people had found him tied to a bed, bound and gagged, half an hour ago. He quietly nodded.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered to his boss as he passed.

"This wasn't your fault, Kili," Ori tried to be encouraging. Legolas just looked away, sadly, as if he'd lost his best friend.

Bilbo pushed Thorin's hair back from his creased forehead as the attendants insisted he climb onto a stretcher identical to Fili's. "You had to go and get yourself shot," Bilbo had tears in his eyes. "Big damn hero. I'm surrounded by big damn heroes," he leaned in and kissed Thorin before the stretcher was loaded into the back of the waiting ambulance.

Dwalin, cuffed and stuffed into the back of a police cruiser, watched the proceedings with seeming indifference. So many lives irrevocably altered, yet he felt nothing.

\- - - - - 

The emergency room bustled with activity; a typical Friday evening in the city. After Bilbo's friends were swept away by hospital staff, he was left, alone, amid the throng of sick and injured people. He'd wanted desperately to follow Thorin's stretcher into the depths of the examining area, but the nurse shooed him away when he admitted that he was not a family member.

Feeling fortunate to have walked away from the fire unscathed, he sat meekly down in an unoccupied chair to wait for news. He must have dozed off, for some time later he was awakened by a warm hand on his forearm. "Mr. Baggins?" a woman's voice greeted him. "Are you Bilbo Baggins?" 

"What? Oh yes, that's me," he told her, realizing she was dressed in nurse's scrubs. 

"Could you come with me, please?" she asked him. "Dr. Oin wants to speak with you about your nephew." 

"M-my nephew?" he asked, carefully. 

"Yes," she glanced at the chart on the iPad she was carrying. "Fili Disson? You are listed as his uncle and emergency contact on the card we found in his wallet. You, and another gentleman—Thorin Oakenshield." 

Bilbo didn't question Fili's decision, but followed the young woman through a large hydraulic door and into the emergency room proper. She led him to a partitioned cubicle and pulled back the curtain. "In here," she gestured. "Dr. Oin, this is Bilbo Baggins, Mr. Disson's uncle." 

"Hello, doctor," Bilbo greeted the grey-haired man, but his gaze immediately fell to Fili, who appeared to still be unconscious. His eyes were closed and an oxygen mask was secured over his nose and mouth. A small white bandage covered what appeared to be a cut on his forehead near the hairline. "How is he?" Bilbo wondered. 

"Remarkably good, in most regards, considering what he's been through," the doctor told him. "While outwardly, he doesn't appear badly injured, his lungs are in rather poor shape. There's a great deal of inflammation in both of his lungs, and his pharynx—which isn't surprising considering he was stuck in a fire and inhaled a great deal of hot smoke and chemicals. I'd like to talk with you about a treatment plan." 

Bilbo reached for Fili's hand. It was cold. 

"As you can see," Dr. Oin told Bilbo, "he's not getting enough oxygen. Look at his fingernails." 

Bilbo did. "They're...they're lavender," he observed. 

"Not a good sign," the doctor nodded. "It means his pulse ox, or pulse oximetry—the amount of oxygen in his blood—is low. And, of course, he's wheezing pretty badly. He did wake for a bit, but panicked when he couldn't get enough air. It's not unusual. There are few things more frightening than not being able to breathe," he said softly. "We sedated him, which has calmed him significantly."

"What next?" Bilbo wondered. "Will he improve?" 

"Well, here's my plan," the doctor began. "He's going to need a constant, strong regimen of antibiotics, anti-inflammatories and humidified oxygen for at least a week. I'd prefer—and I think he would too—that during that time, he is put into an induced coma and on a ventilator. He'll be much more comfortable and he'll certainly breathe easier, more fully and slower, allowing for healing. He also won't have any pain." 

"A c-coma?" Bilbo felt his knees weakening. "That sounds so...scary." 

"It's merciful, honestly," Dr. Oin explained. "He'll sleep through the worst of it and come out the other end better healed. He'll need more treatment afterwards of course—nebulizers and the like, and some respiratory therapy, I imagine. But he seems young, strong and healthy. There's no reason to believe he won't make a full recovery, but we have to get him off to a quick and solid start. I think a week's rest to let the drugs do their work is a good idea. As his nearest family, your consent would help, of course." 

Bilbo took a moment to look down at Fili, who looked deathly pale. A bit of blue had found its way to his lips and it filled Bilbo with dread. He leaned to kiss his forehead and discovered the blond still smelled of smoke and gasoline. 

"Do what you have to do to get him well quickly and painlessly," Bilbo decided. "He's a good kid. I don't want to see him suffer." 

"Very well," Dr. Oin reached for Bilbo's hand to give it a reassuring shake. "We'll move him to a room in the trauma unit where an eye can be kept on him. Once he's there, we'll get the medication and ventilation started. We’ll keep him comfortable. As soon as he's settled, which shouldn't take long, we'll let you know. In the meantime, one of your friends has gone up to surgery for his bullet wound. The other's next door getting his burns treated. I imagine both will be our guests for a few days. But none of your friends are in danger of dying, Mr. Baggins. Go," Oin ordered him. "Have a hot drink. We'll send for you." 

Bilbo left the curtained area slowly, catching a glimpse of Bombur through a crack in the open curtain around his bed. His wife was with him, so Bilbo didn't want to intrude. He decided to take the doctor's advice and get some tea. He hoped he could remember everything the doctor had told him, because he could think of several people who were going to insist he repeat it, in detail, when they saw him.

The lobby was crowded with patients and visitors. Kili wrinkled his nose and shrank further back into his jacket. The hospital smelled of antiseptic and old people. Normally, Kili had no trouble with that. This time, it only added to his nervousness.

His friends were in the hospital. They were going to be fine, he'd been assured. Of course. But that didn't mean he had to feel at ease. His best friend lay unconscious in the emergency room.

As soon as he saw Bilbo, he perked up. The man barely had time to sit down before Kili was on his case.

"How is he? Is he going to be okay? What did the doctors say? They won't—" Kili looked desperate. "They won't let me see him. Them."

"Kili, sweet one," Bilbo greeted him with a hug. "Sit with me." He proceeded to tell the obviously concerned young man everything Dr. Oin had told him about Fili's condition and its treatment. "They promised to come get me as soon as he's settled and I'm sure they'll let you see him then. You are, after all, his cousin."

"Cousin?" Kili didn't like the word. He liked Fili being put into a coma even less. His fingers twirled a cigarette which he was anxious to light up soon, and—practically lying in his chair—his feet nudged another chair. "And Bombur? And Thorin? Will they be all right?" He felt guilty for obviously caring most about Fili. "And you? You and Thorin have been a little..."

"Thorin's in surgery to get the bullet taken out," Bilbo said softly. "The doctor said it was routine. Although I fail to see how being shot can be considered routine." His voice was tight with controlled emotion. "Bombur's wife is with him. He was sitting up and talking, which is very encouraging.

"Fili had listed me and Thorin as his uncles, his emergency contacts," he continued to explain. "And, as you are my _son_ ," he stressed, "you should encounter little trouble in trying to visit him. I can't believe the club is gone," Bilbo said sadly. "I guess it's pathetic for me to be so upset, but unlike the rest of you, I don't have much of a life outside that place. I have no idea what I'm going to do with myself now." He sniffled, reaching for Kili's hand.

Kili took it and squeezed it tight. "I'm sure there's lots of things you can do. Mr. Thranduil said earlier he was planning to rebuild as soon as possible, and I'm sure he could use a hand." He doubted his words were very uplifting; Bilbo looked a mess. Worse than Kili, and Kili already had no idea what to do, or what was expected of him. "You could work on costumes, too, I'm sure."

He kept looking at the door. "They're putting Fili to sleep now, aren't they? How long until I get to talk to him again? Do I want to see, B.B.?"

"The doctor asked me to wait here," Bilbo told him. "I don't think we want to see what's happening to him right now. They're putting a tube down his throat to help him breathe. He won't feel it, but it's probably not a procedure that's very pleasant to watch. Dr. Oin wants him to heal for a week, so he won't be talking for some time...but I imagine you can talk _to_ him. From what I have been led to believe, he should be able to hear you. It can't hurt to try, right?"

Bilbo suddenly brightened. "You know, you're right, Kili. If Thranduil intends to rebuild, he will need my help. Everything was lost. I'll have to remake all the costumes. Oh, blast," he sighed. "That's a lot of work. But it'll give me a chance to improve on them. I do hope Thorin will still want to dance."

The nurse who'd come for Bilbo earlier returned. "Mr. Baggins?" she asked. "Your nephew's been placed in a bed and he's able to receive visitors. Dr. Oin wanted me to let you know. You can find him in room 324 in the trauma wing."

"Thank you, my dear," Bilbo stood, nervously. "Kili, will you come with me?"

Kili nodded feebly. He put the cigarette back into its pack, ignoring a family looking at him angrily. He didn't pay them attention; they were probably upset over other things beyond him controlling his urges. Then he got up to his feet and stretched his legs for good measure. Kili had been in his chair for a good forty-five minutes, and even if he wasn't going to see Fili, he could still use the exercise.

The elevators were crammed with more visitors. Kili didn't mind his ratty sweater and leaned against Bilbo. "Is he conscious?" he wondered nervously. "Or did they put him under already? I hope he's still awake. God, I hope Thorin will be okay too. And poor Bombur. I feel so bad, B.B.. If it hadn't been for me, none of this would have happened."

The time spent at the station had been the longest of his life. He'd been forced to issue a statement while his friends were in the hospital.

Bilbo allowed Kili to voice his concerns, but didn't bother trying to address his questions again. He knew that once they reached Fili's room, Kili would get his answers. He guided the worried man from the elevator and down the hall to room 324. 

"You need to be brave, Kili," Bilbo told him, pausing outside the open door of the room. "You work with terminal patients, don't you? Don't let this upset you too much. The doctor assured me that Fili is going to be okay once he wakes up. You need to hold it together, for Fili." _And for me,_ he thought, but didn't voice it.

Taking a deep breath, Bilbo stepped into the room, where he found Fili alone, lying on a hospital bed. The head of the bed was raised so that Fili was almost sitting up. His eyes were closed and around his lower face, a blue strip of plastic secured a clear plastic tube that led into his mouth. Another, much smaller tube, led from his nose. Both connected to a machine off to the left and behind him. The room was quiet, except for the whoosh of the ventilator and the beeping of a heart monitor.

Bilbo cleared his throat, reaching for Fili's hand and noticing his fingernails no longer purple. "This isn't so bad, is it, Kili?"

But to Kili, Fili looked like a man dying. It wasn't so bad; it wasn't pleasant to see the tubes and the way that Fili's didn't smile or stir in Kili's presence. Kili had never realized that particular one of Fili's habits until just now. But this was his best friend. His best friend who had gotten into this mess because of him. Kili never should have handled Dwalin the way he had.

Before he knew what was happening, his eyes glossed over. "Oh Fili," he whispered. "I'm so sorry...so sorry. Look at you. There should be a smile on that face. Please hang in there..."

"It is odd to see him lying so still," Bilbo agreed. "Despite his calmness, he always seems to be busy with ... something.” Despite it not being necessary, he smoothed the hair away from Fili’s face.

"Kili," Bilbo turned to the younger man. "Please stop blaming yourself. Dwalin could have targeted any of us. There are more than a few of us lonely and looking for love," he said sadly. "You and I should set up a schedule. Let me know when you're at work so I can be here with him. I can work here, sketching and planning. And there are a few books I've been meaning to read."

"But I asked him why he wouldn't commit to me." Kili shook his head roughly. "I had to ask why he had to keep hiding me away. I asked him because Fili liked me, and it got me thinking. I never should have asked that of him. I should have just walked away." Kili stared down. "I rejected him, B.B. He told me he would go after Fili, and now look at him."

He sniffed, suddenly finding it hard to look at his injured friend, and nodded. "I'll be here any time I'm not at work. I owe it to him. You should spend time with Thorin. I've never seen his family, or heard him talk about it. He must be lonely."

A new thought occurred to him.

"God, is Fili's mom going to visit? I know they're not close, but he's ill. What do I even tell her?"

"I don't think Fili has a very good relationship with his mother," Bilbo told him. "He didn't have her listed as emergency contact. I wouldn't begin to know how to reach her, do you? He doesn't talk much about his family." He sighed. " Based on what little he's told me, I'm not sure she’s happy with his life choices. I think he views all of us as his family."

He sat back sadly. "I suppose I've been lucky to not have parents around to pressure me. I've loved my job. Yes," he nodded. "I am very lucky."

"She doesn’t like me," Kili chuckled despite himself. "We met once and the three of us had lunch. She’s a lawyer; rich. She doesn’t know he's a dancer. To her, he's trying hard to get a degree she doesn’t approve of. Maybe we shouldn't tell her."

It saddened him to realize so many of his friends had no real family to speak of, not by blood. He had no trouble with his mum himself, and his grandmother adored him. Fili too, come to think of it.

"You've got us," he said. "Fili's got us, too. We'll make do. Club or no club, that's not going to change."

After offering Bilbo a smile, Kili walked closer to Fili until he was within reach to run a hand gently through his hair.

"He feels so warm."

He still smelled of fire.

"He was lucky not to get badly burned, but I suppose you could say the warmth of his skin is rather like a sunburn...without the sun." Bilbo ran his fingers over Fili's hair. "Just the tips of his hair were in the fire, they said. Probably while Bombur was carrying him out. I imagine they'll cut off the singed parts. Then the smell won't be so strong," he ventured.

They were silent for a while before Bilbo stood resolutely. 

"I'm sure it'll be annoying to the staff, but I'm going to see what I can find out about Thorin. Are you going to stay here?"

One look at Fili was all Kili needed to come up with the answer.

"Go. Tell me how he is when you get back. I think I'd like to be alone with him for a minute."

Part of him felt bad for putting Fili's importance before everyone else's, like was clearly doing. A different part needed to think about where to go from here. 

No more Dwalin. And good riddance, too, after all he had done. But did that mean that Kili had to pick Fili? Could he want Fili like that?

Kili smiled sadly at Bilbo. "I'm really sorry. For the mess and everything. Find him. Bring back good news."

\- - - - - 

Either Bilbo's skills of annoyance were improving, or his timing, but he was lucky enough to get a straight answer about Thorin's condition from the first person outside the O.R. that he spoke to. Thorin's surgery had gone swimmingly and he had been through the recovery process and moved to a patient room.

Thankfully, Fili's declaration that Thorin and Bilbo were his uncles allowed Bilbo the luxury of telling the staff he was Thorin's brother and they allowed him access to the recently operated-on patient.

Thorin's face was relaxed and pale, but there were darker smudges under his eyes. He'd been given a bed, but with far less scary equipment surrounding him than Fili’s. An I.V. bag hung from a nearby pole and entered his left hand. A nurse was removing an oxygen cannula from under his nose as Bilbo approached the bed.

"How is my brother doing?" he asked her, trying to establish the relationship immediately. 

She smiled. "He did well in surgery. He just needs to rest and heal and he should be going home in no time."

"Thank you," Bilbo sighed in relief, immediately pulled a chair up to the other side of the bed, sitting down next to his friend of many years. Thorin's long hair lay unfettered on the pillow, and Bilbo smoothed it down with one hand, to have something to do. After the nurse left them alone, he took Thorin's hand in his own. "I am _so_ happy to see you," he told the sleeping man in a quiet voice.

\- - - - - 

Kili watched as Fili breathed in and out. It looked peaceful, but it wasn't smooth. His breathing was raspy, as if it stuck in his throat. The singed hair fanned out on the pillow and made him look like a broken angel.

It was said that people in a coma could still hear things. Be that as it may, Kili didn't believe in supplying secrets to those who were unable to respond to them. The insecurity of talking about his concerns and his doubts about whether he was heard when he was given no answer stopped him from speaking now.

He did wonder.

Kili's thoughts didn't cross guilt. They didn't cross Fili's now available love for Kili, either—though it was tempting to go there. Instead they lingered on the fragility of life. Dwalin would only have to send one man into this room—and Kili wasn't sure if he could or not—and a life worth millions of experiences, worth years of breathing and laughing and being a walking miracle of Mother Nature, would be ended.

Kili didn't know whether that was what moved him, but he leaned forward and placed a kiss on Fili's forehead. 

"Don't go," he whispered. "I'm still here, and I need you."

Then, he slowly got up and looked around for a nurse. A few minutes later, he knocked on the open door to the ward where Bombur lay.

"Kili, my boy," the red haired man pulled aside his oxygen mask and greeted the bartender. His voice was not as powerful as it normally was, but his eyes were just as determined. "I was just pondering a nap. The little lady had to go home to take care of the boys."

He studied Kili's face carefully. "Fili? Is he all right, then?"

Kili smiled. It was good to see his friend awake and talking to him. It diminished the feeling of responsibility by a little.

"He's asleep. I don't think I'll get the chance to talk to him for a few days. Which is good, I suppose. Gives him time to recover without distractions. And you? What you did, Bombur..."

"Don't even start," the burly stagehand raised one bandaged hand to shut him up. "I did nothing that you wouldn't have done, am I right? You, more than anyone else, would have risked your life to save him. He's my friend. I don't want to hear any more talk of heroics. He would have done the same thing for me."

"He would have," Kili acquiesced. He couldn't help but put a smile on his face; finally someone that seemed more fed up with it than him. "Your wife's been giving you more of that too, hasn't she? I'm glad you were there and were able to do something though. So if there's anything I can do for you..." He raised an eyebrow. "I think I might just be swayed to smuggle a beer into the hospital, if you're not up for surgery soon."

"I don't need surgery, kid," Bombur scoffed. "And these?" he held up his arms, which were bandaged from the elbows to the tips of his fingers, "These won't handicap me for long. I've always been a fast healer. We can hope Thranduil decides to rebuild. I really like my job. I'd hate to have to go back to being a line cook."

Kili took a seat and sat down next to him. "I'm sure he will. If he's not, I'll see if I can fix you up with something. Deal?" He wasn't going to let Bombur fall back into that uninspiring job. He thought about something for a long time, watching his eyes wander around the room and over his friend to check if he was really all right. Then he finally mumbled, "What happened in there? They wouldn't tell me at the station, and I haven't wanted to ask B.B., what with Thorin still being in surgery."

"Oh, Kili," Bombur shook his head. "I'm not sure you want to hear all this. Not yet. I know you and Dwalin were close. He did some pretty terrible things. I shouldn't be the one to be telling you," he said in a warning tone. "And besides, I was unconscious behind the bar for most of it," his bandaged left hand rose to feel the lump on the back of his head. "One thing's for certain: if Fili hadn't shouted out and awakened me, we both would have died in there."

"He shouted out?" Kili chewed his lip. "You can tell me. Please, tell me. After what Dwalin did, Bombur, I don't think I'll ever be able to look at him and not regret that choice. I hate him so much for what he did. But nobody wants to tell me what he did. I'm not made of glass."

Bombur took in a long breath. "I'll tell you what I can recall. But then you have to promise to skedaddle and let me get some rest. Agreed?" At Kili's nod, he began. "Dwalin and I arrived at the club at the same time. He told me he'd brought your wallet and just wanted to bring it inside to you. I told him we weren't open, but I'd take it in. He pulled out a gun and forced me to open the club. Are you sure you want to hear all of this?"

Kili winced, but nodded. He'd been so wrong about Dwalin.

"Once we were inside, Dwalin must have been satisfied, because he hit me over the head with the gun. I don't know how long I was out of it...but I came to behind the bar. I heard Fili yelling for help and that roused me. The club was on fire. It was all around me, and around _him._ Dwalin had taken him onto Stage Two and handcuffed him to the pole. No doubt, he intended him to die." 

The big man cleared his throat. "I was near the store room where we keep the tools and I knew we had bolt cutters there. I went to get them, cut him loose and carried him out." He explained, obviously not caring to embellish the story. "At the time, of course, I thought we were the only three people in the club. I didn't know about the others. About Thorin getting shot. I'm just happy that Fundinson is going to jail."

Kili sat back and remained silent for some time. So it had been an intended target; not just the club and Kili's life—his work and his friends—as a whole. He suddenly wanted to pay Dwalin a visit and kick him in the nuts. Hard. Although Kili had already made up his mind about it, he really found the determination now to make sure he got locked away for a long time to come.

"Thanks," he said to the floor. "I needed to hear that. You should get some sleep, you're right." He looked up. "I'll come over again tomorrow."

\- - - - - 

When Kili reached room 324 again, he found that Fili was not alone. Ori sat by his side, a hand on his forearm. The brunet decided to hang back in the doorway to give them privacy, but he couldn't help overhear the words Ori spoke.

"They say you can maybe hear me," Ori said. "I hope so. I'm not brave enough to talk to you like this normally, but that's my own fault. I'm just...shy. But, Fili, I really love you. When Bombur brought you out of that building, I felt my heart just stop in my chest. I felt that if you were to die, I might die too." He grabbed a tissue from the box near Fili's bed and went on.

"I know you love Kili," he said, stroking his forearm, then his hair, "and of course, I get _why._ He's beautiful and brave and...well, I'm not. But, Fili, you have to realize that he's not like you and me. He's like a bee, going from flower to flower. What you deserve is a devoted gardener who's going to nurture and support you. Show you off. Be proud of you. Be there for you. I know you probably won't remember any of this, but I had to say it, Fili. I have always admired you, and your choices. I hope you'll change your mind about Kili and maybe even give me a chance. I won't make you cry so often, I promise." Ori leaned forward and placed a soft kiss to Fili's forehead.

Sniffling, he sat back, then turned when he felt Kili's presence. "Oh...god," he breathed, when he realized Kili had been listening. "Kili, I—" He got up and rushed past Kili, out of the room.

Kili stood numbed in the room, accompanied only by rhythmic, raspy breathing and the blip of a monitor. Outside that room, the world moved on. Inside, it constricted around him suddenly. Kili didn't go after Ori. He felt too wounded to walk; but not too wounded to leave the room to find the nearest restroom, hide from the world in a cubicle and take in a deep, deep breath, until at the height of his lung capacity, he just collapsed.

He'd always thought of Ori as a friend. For Ori to take a chance at Fili wasn't even what upset Kili. Ori deserved his own share of happiness. But did he truly believe Kili was a vixen, someone who would never settle down—or would even want to? A tease and a pretty package, but with no ability to commit? Kili had always tried so hard to make it work in the past. Dwalin had seemed like a man able to take care of him, and those who had come before him had always been let into Kili's life with the purpose of making it work. To hear it be insinuated that it was Kili responsible for all the wrong turns which his relationships had taken...it really hurt.

It was his fault. All of it. The fire, Fili and Thorin hurt, Bombur in recovery. His.

Kili had no idea whether he could even love Fili like that. They'd been friends for so long. But Ori obviously did. Ori, who deserved something good. And who, apparently, was much more suited to the task of making Fili happy.

But where did that leave him?


	7. The Devil Made Me Do It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Re-imaginings and re-openings.

Kili didn't know how long he'd been in there when the door to the restroom opened with a creak.

"Kili?" Ori's voice was shaking. "I know you're in here. I-I followed you."

Kili wasn't in the mood to speak to Ori though. "Go away," he sniffed.

"Please, Kili," Ori persisted. "I feel absolutely terrible about what I said. I know it sounded like I think the worst of you. I don't. I love you like a brother."

"One who can't hold his relationships together. One who's not trustworthy." Kili closed his eyes. "Thanks, Ori. That's just what I needed to hear."

“I didn’t say you weren't trustworthy!” Ori exclaimed. “But you have to admit, you haven't had the best track record when it comes to relationships.”

At those words, a silence fell between them. Because Kili knew. It was why he wasn't rushing head first into giving it a try with Fili; what if the same thing happened between them, and this time around, he'd lose his best friend?

"My track record consists of scumbags, Ori," he sighed.

“You do seem to have a thing for bad boys,” Ori said apologetically, opening the door to the stall where Kili was hiding. “You're sweet and open… and cute. You're like a magnet for guys like that.”

"Fili's not a guy like that." Although Kili tried to close the door again, he lost that fight. "For how long have you liked him?"

“Fili doesn’t see you as an easy mark. Not like those guys do. All he wants from you… is you. You _know_ him,” Ori sighed. “I spend time, late, at the club talking to him sometimes. Been maybe eighteen months now, I guess, since he told me he loved you. The way he talks about you. I guess it was easy to imagine him talking that way about me—wishing he would, at least. God, I just want to grab you and smack some sense into you!”

Kili looked him over with distrust. "You just told him you want him, and to pick you over me. Despite the fact that my ex—whom I actually did love before he burned The Lair down—and I just broke up, and I never thought about Fili that way before, you're now telling me to, well, what? Go up there and give it a shot, despite knowing that most of my relationships end up fucked up, or give him a flat out no when he comes to, so you can pick up the pieces after me?"

“I won’t insult you by telling you what you should do. But I will tell you one thing, Kili. You are a fucking idiot if you walk away from him. Maybe you just don't think you deserve to be happy or something,” Ori muttered, stepping away from the stall door. “I’m gonna go check on Bombur,” he said, then left the restroom.

Kili was once again left staring at the wall. He pulled the cubicle shut and allowed himself to wallow in the misery that his life had become over the span of just a few days a few more seconds, before dragging his hands down his face and breathing out.

After spending too much time locating Thorin's room, he knocked on the door and told Bilbo he was going home. There would be questions about his red eyes later. For now, he was in a hospital, and that meant that nobody would look at him twice.

“Wait up, Kili,” Bilbo followed him into the hall, waiting until he was outside the door before speaking to avoid waking Thorin. “Is someone with Angel?”

Kili shook his head. He was supposed to be there, with Fili, but he couldn't sit in the same room as him and not replay Ori's words over and over.

“Kili, love,” Bilbo lay his hand on Kili’s shoulder, “you just got done telling me you'd stay with him—a little over an hour ago. I know it's horrible, seeing him that way. Just pretend he's sleeping. Because he really is, mostly.”

Bilbo noticed Kili seemed terribly shaken. “Today was hard on us all,” he pulled the younger man in for a hug. “But… we're family. We take care of each other… right?”

"...Right."

Kili looked over Bilbo's shoulder at Thorin. He looked peaceful, when his wounds were hidden from view.

"Am I untrustworthy?" he asked quietly.

“Kili, you take care of elderly people when they're dying. They trust you. Their families trust you. Total strangers trust you not to spit in their drinks when you mix them. Where is this coming from?”

Kili shrugged lamely. It seemed so petty when it was put like that. "Fili loves me," he muttered. "But he deserves more than someone like me, doesn't he?"

“So, you're saying Fili has poor taste in men?” Bilbo raised one eyebrow. “There is one person in this world he would give his heart to. And you would doubt his choice?”

"I don't doubt his choice. I doubt whether it'd be best for him." God, talking about it like this only made Kili feel worse. "He's been my best friend for so long, but all I'm able to do is screw things up."

“Look,” Bilbo sighed deeply. “I may possibly be the most celibate man in this city, so I don't feel terribly qualified to give relationship advice. But I know you, and I know him. You should see how he looks at you—when you don't know he's looking…” Bilbo swallowed and looked away. Then he shrugged. “He just loves you. Friends is good, but love is better, isn’t it?”

Not when love burnt out a lot faster and left only ruins in its wake. But Kili didn't say that. "I should get back to him," he looked over his shoulder. This matter was going to need time. He certainly wasn't going to try and think of Fili in less than honorable ways when the man in question was still confined to a hospital bed. If he would think about it at all. Kili frowned. It still felt weird.

He bade Bilbo a weak good night and backtracked to Fili’s room.

The next morning, the nurse found Kili asleep in his chair with his head resting on Fili's bed.

\- - - - - 

Two weeks passed before Fili was released from the hospital. Kili had taken him for dinner between friends to celebrate that night, even though it had taken him some trouble at work to get the time off. He'd changed some shifts at the nursing home, asked for more hours, and unfortunately gotten a few too many for his liking.

Kili had nearly asked them to turn the decision back, but then the monthly rent had to be paid and he realized he wasn't going to cope if he didn't work the hours, and so the dinner had been short and slightly cheap. He didn't mind.

But as he sat down on his own bed and watched the cars passing by outside paint strips of moving light on his ceiling, he thought about what Ori had said again, and wondered.

It wouldn't be so hard to love Fili. At least, he didn't think so. He was good-looking, and he had moves like he was born with them. He was loyal, too; he certainly wouldn't hurt Kili like so many others. 

But maybe Kili would hurt Fili. Ori was right—all of his relationships had ended badly. His track record, as Ori called it, well, it wasn't anything to write home about. Part of that was about being attracted to the wrong people. But at least part of it had to be because Kili didn't know how to have relationships. He always put too much trust in people, gave too freely. And they took too readily.

Fili was his friend. His brother, almost. Even if Kili thought he could give it a shot, the consequence of ruining their friendship was too severe.

Then again, everyone told him not to be an idiot. Maybe he needed to give it a go.

Kili tried.

His first attempt at picturing them together was so awkward that it made him wail and fall back on the bed, covering his eyes. This was his friend. His best friend for ages. How long had they known each other now? Thinking about this was like opening a box that had been firmly, comfortably closed for far too long.

But when he pictured Fili and Ori together, he realized that he disliked that thought even more. Kili practically forced it out of his memory. He liked Ori, but he wasn't going to hand Fili over to him.

Fili and Thorin as they danced didn't raise the same feeling of possessiveness, and he pondered about that for a while, mulled it around in his brain. Fili and Thorin wasn't half bad, Kili thought. He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. There wasn't that flutter in the pit of his stomach, though he thought that maybe...maybe he could.

Kili sat up.

It needed to be put to the test.

He punched in Fili's number on his phone and, at nearly midnight, declared he was coming over.

Fili opened the door seeming a little unsteady on his feet, wearing a ratty t-shirt and shorts that Kili recognized as his sleeping clothes. His hair was tied back in a pony tail at the nape of his neck.

"Mmh," he yawned. "Hey Kee. I wasn't expecting company tonight. I already took my meds. Almost didn't hear the phone," he said apologetically, ushering his friend inside. "Are you all right?"

Ah. Great. Kili hadn't given it much thought, but it only made sense that Fili thought something was up at the odd hour at which he'd sent him a message. He smiled in what he hoped was a reassuring way. "Everything's fine. I just felt like dropping by. Is this a bad time?”

"I'm just really sleepy," Fili told him. "It's the drugs. You know you're welcome here anytime, Kee. But..." He paused at the doorframe by his small bedroom. "Will you lie down with me? We can talk lying down, right?'

"We can talk lying down," Kili assured him, though he wondered if it was really such a good idea, if he was trying to see his friend in a different perspective. He sat down on the bed and waited for Fili to lie down before leaning back and lying down next to him. In a different part of the city, the same vision of car lights streaking the ceiling greeted him.

"How are you?" was the first thing he asked. "Good to be back home?"

"God yes," Fili sighed, snuggling closer and laying his head on Kili's chest. "Hospital beds are really far too hard. I missed this saggy, forgiving mattress." He yawned again, and queried, "Kili, why are you here? I just saw you at dinner." 

Kili shrugged. "Dinner wasn't nearly enough time to catch up on you being in a coma for too long." 

It was comfortable, the way they lay on the bed. Comfortable as friends. Kili closed his eyes and imagined Fili climbing on top of him. A small smile came unbidden to his lips. "I missed you," he admitted. "I'm just glad to have you back."

Moved by those words, the blond tightened his arm around Kili's waist and chuckled nervously. He was quiet for so long that it seemed he might have dozed off. 

"Are you doing okay?" he asked finally. "I mean, with all that's happened?"

"...Fairly good." Kili looked down at Fili. This was how they were supposed to be; easy. He didn't make any mention of Ori's words, though they still haunted him. "Dwalin's awaiting his trial. I'll feel better when he's behind bars once and for all. Talk about a really bad choice, that man. But you? They say people in comas can still hear. Did you hear any incriminating confessions?" he chuckled as if to pass it off as a joke.

"That stuff they say about people in comas hearing everything? It's rubbish," Fili told him. "I remember the fire, and then it's like I woke up a few minutes later. I didn't believe you guys when you told me it had been a week. It was like...a nap."

Kili pouted. "Pity." He didn't feel sorry though. It meant that Ori's words hadn't hit home. "I'm really sorry about that. This means it'll be even longer before we get to use that hookah. You're not getting out of it, you know." He made the mistake of smiling as he looked at Fili just as Fili looked up to him and the smile died.

They were right. Fili _was_ a catch.

He liked Ori, but there was just no way Ori was going to have this man.

“Kee,” Fili said to break tension, “the hookah would be redundant. I'm stoned off my ass… right now.”

"But it'd be boring to use it by myself," Kili said, his mouth slightly dry. The truth was that he didn't care what he said; he spoke merely for the sake of speaking. There was definitely something going on, though he hadn't come here to act on it. He had come only to see _if_ he could feel something for his best friend.

“You just better hope your boss doesn't ask you to pee in a cup anytime soon,” Fili’s words slurred a bit and he relaxed more against Kili.

"I think he's so happy I work so often when they're short on men that he wouldn't dare." Kili reached to tousle Fili's hair. "I'm really glad you're back, Fee."

“M’too,” the words barely reached his ears before Fili’s breath evened out in slumber.

That managed to clear Kili's thoughts at last. He smiled to himself and closed his eyes. It took him maybe twenty minutes, but after a while the familiarity of the company dragged him under as well. He had an answer to his question. Now all he needed to do was figure out whether he dared risking their friendship or not.

\- - - - - - 

The Lair closed for renovations.

Thranduil was working out some issues with the insurance company and it was looking promising, but it still took a month before rebuilding could even start. Kili found that he missed it. The Lair had been the one thing keeping everything together.

Thankfully, so many construction workers had disliked Dwalin and his practices that the company rebuilding the club finished their work in record time.

With the club temporarily out of business, Kili worked hard at the nursing home. Although they still saw each other frequently, Kili had come to miss Fili. With his new schedules and Fili's fall classes beginning, it was hard to find the time to meet. 

So when, three months later, Thranduil came into Kili's messy apartment and asked him if he wanted to return to the newly built club, fittingly re-christened as The Phoenix as a last middle finger salutation to Dwalin, there was no question in his mind.

\- - - - - - -

“I am _really_ out of shape,” Fili complained to Thorin, looking at himself in the dressing room mirror. “I’ve let myself go over the past few months.”

Although he'd kept in touch with Thorin and Bilbo, he’d missed them terribly and gave both men giant hugs when they appeared. 

“Then it's time to hit the gym, Angel,” Bilbo scolded him, as he expected he would. “Nice to see things getting back to normal.”

Ori came through the door from the stage, sweating profusely and smiling hugely. “That was amazing!” he laughed, throwing back his head. “I can’t wait to do it again!” He looked absolutely adorable, faun horns curling to tuck in above his ears and a furry brown loincloth covering his nether region.

On the bench, Thorin was getting ready for his own routine—which he had also needed to brush up on. But with enough money in his account to allow the own scheduling of his hours outside of working at the club, he had actually kept up his physical shape and would be the star of the night.

"Here's the part where everyone is going to say, 'I told you so'," he smiled. "We saw, Ori. _You_ were amazing. All eyes, my friend. All eyes. On you."

He pulled his wings up, oiled his skin, and waited for Fili to be ready. It had become a promise to each other; whoever entered the stage first would let their act be taken over halfway through with a surprise guest appearance, which would then bleed into the Angel and Demon dance—a fan favorite.

As soon as he got the go-ahead, Thorin got to his feet and moved into the dark of the the main stage, where Kili saw him and threw him a broad smile as his way of saying, 'Good to see you again'.

Fili gave Thorin a thumbs-up as a promise to join him on stage soon. 

He had to admit, he’d been terrified to come back to the club. When Thranduil called him, he’d nearly said no, but instead offered something lame like “I’ll have to come and check it out first.” The club had become even more modern and had fewer dark corners. And the dressing rooms—plural—were amazingly well appointed. He’d said yes quickly. 

Still, he felt trepidation. _The last time I was on this stage I almost died._ The thought brought a dark cast to his eyes and he looked expectantly to Kili to cheer him. 

Kili wasn't so good at that, because when he finally saw Fili properly again, with the knowledge that from now on there would be time to spend together again, now that his evenings were no longer spent at the nursing home but at the club, it made him both excited and nervous. He wondered if Fili still liked him. Kili hadn't exactly given him an answer in the last three months. It was enough to sway even the most steadfast of men—even if his own resolve had only strengthened.

He assumed that Fili didn't, and tried a cheerful nod that felt stupidly like that for a stranger passing by instead. Kili berated himself. He'd best not wait too long with catching up on time lost.

By the time Fili entered the stage, Kili was nowhere to be found.

Dancing again with Thorin really was like getting back up on a bicycle after years of disuse. It was like they’d never been apart. Thorin now bore a scar on his leg from the bullet wound, which, of course only added to his mystique. 

It was a good thing the dance was committed to his muscle memory, because all Fili could think about was Kili. He’d looked happy to be back, but he'd been distant. Although they did see each other every now and then, something had shifted. It felt different. Kili seemed so unsure of himself. Initially he took on so much blame for the club fire that it nearly crippled him, and that broke Fili’s heart.

But his feelings towards Kili hadn’t changed. 

He realized he was crying, on stage, like a big idiot. The audience obviously thought it was because he was happy to be back, happy to be alive… money rained down. After he and Thorin had acknowledged the crowd’s warm reception and they got backstage, he threw his arms around Thorin. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I just missed you. Missed _this_.” Memories and fears he thought he’d gotten over about the day of the fire were resurfacing. 

Unfortunately, Kili had planned that night to, as a bit of a surprise and a one-time event in both celebration and making up for things that had happened, take the stage. But he promptly lost his motivation, dressed as he stood as the devil, when he witnessed the intimate scene between Thorin and Fili.

It reminded him too much of that last dance the two men had shared, months back. Part of him just waited for the kiss that had never come back then.

“I think coming back here might have been a mistake,” Fili told Thorin. “Everyone seems so happy, and in love, and I'm just,” he sighed, “nothing's changed. Even with Dwalin out of the picture, he still doesn’t want me.”

Kili's eyes widened.

Bilbo walked in, and Kili immediately shoved him in a corner to shut him up. He pressed a finger against his own lips. He needed to hear this, and he was not going to take Bilbo guilt-tripping him into moral behavior right now.

Thorin clasped Fili's shoulder. "Did you talk to him, Fili? It's been a long time."

“Well, we _talk_ all time. About everything but that. He asked for space and time,” Fili got two bottles of water out of the refrigerator, handing one to Thorin. “I tried to give it to him. But that fire, it scared me, Thorin. I have things I want to accomplish before I die—and he’s the one I want to spend my life with. This… this waiting… it’s torture.” Not discovering Bilbo there to help, he went up behind Thorin and unbuckled his wings and removed them, then turned his back so Thorin could do the same for him.

Kili stared, until Bilbo hissed between his teeth, "Well, you heard him. Now get up there! People are waiting for you," and shoved him in the direction of the stage, like he had come to do in the first place. Kili stumbled into the dressing room. 

Thankfully, he went unseen by Fili as he trod awkwardly towards the stage entrance.

If they saw him now, if they said anything, his resolve would falter.

As the music geared up, Kili took a deep breath and stepped forward.

"Good," Thorin pulled his hands away from Fili's outfit at once. "Now, you're going to get up there, Fili. It's a routine meant for two."

“I’m… what?” Fili was caught off guard. “Not funny, Thorin. We only have one partner dance,” he reminded him, then heard the music on the stage. “Who’s out there?” he wrinkled his forehead at the unfamiliar music. “Ori again?” 

He walked to the curtain and peeked out onto stage one.

Kili's nerves were fraying, as his hands touched the cold pole and he knew what was expected of him. He had practiced this part many times with Bilbo as his helpful coach, giving comments and offering advice. He'd even arranged for the lights to be adjusted in that way that hid the audience from him. In a way it helped, not being able to identify the see them.

It was actually Fili's words that set him unbalanced. Kili forced himself to stop thinking and just go with it. With a low roll of his hips and closed eyes, he allowed the music to take over.

It was when he nervously licked his lips and the crowd cheered, that Kili finally found his confidence. A smile reappeared on his lips. Soon, he was as in character as he could be; he stalked the stage, he swayed his hips seductively, and once or twice he even dared duck the blinding stage lights to crawl and gesture a spectator closer.

It wasn’t long before the crowd realized their beloved, shy bartender was performing. And Kili looked absolutely splendid, just as Bilbo had predicted. As bills began to rain down onto the stage, Fili laughed with joy at the spectacle.

“Am I supposed to… with him?” he turned to Bilbo.

“If you are so moved,” Bilbo smiled.

Fili was enjoying watching far too much to jump in… yet.

The bills bewildered Kili a little, and he did the same thing he'd done as the first surge had come over; he rolled onto his back, half hanging off the stage, as his hands touched all over himself and his hips moved to the beat. He made sure never to really touch himself—a video tape had proved to be a good enough warning for that—but he loved playing a devil.

In person, Kili was in fact the furthest thing from a devil, and he nearly flailed when one of the customers dared slip a bill under his thong. He had to work hard to suppress his natural instinct, instead turning it into what he hoped looked like a delighted shiver. Soon after that, he raised himself from the stage to return to the safety of the pole.

A round of cheers and applause greeted him, and when he spun around, Angel Fili was standing there, on stage, appraising him. The blond stalked to the other side of the pole opposite Kili, then reached for his hand, sliding it around his waist with a sly smile. The crowd was frenzied.

When hot skin met hot skin, Kili had the decency to remember that that was a first. He flushed, before remembering the moves and reeling the other in. "What are you doing here?" Kili whispered in confusion when the act portrayed the devil talking in on the angel and stepping around him to run his hands over his wings, then his shoulders, and then his hips.

Fili shuddered in appreciation when Kili treated the wings as if they were an extension of his body. Feeling Kili touching him in such a non-friendly manner had his passion flaring. He felt like _he_ was a pyrotechnic cannon waiting to go off.

“I’m here for you to woo,” Fili whispered in his ear, nipping the lobe a bit as he pulled off, caressing Kili’s face with the other hand and backing away a bit, flipping his hair (which had grown back splendidly) for good measure.

While it was what the dance officially portrayed, Kili had assumed he'd be dancing it on his own, and so there would be no wooing except for maybe the audience. Bilbo must have had other plans, but that didn't make it less awkward when he realized that his subject was a man who had recently proclaimed he was serious about Kili.

The last three months had forced him to think about it. Especially when they were slowly moving apart because of work, Kili's thoughts had kicked in extra strong. That made the way he used the pole as a lover in order to seduce his onstage partner extra embarrassing—and extra addictive, while at the same time the warmth of Fili's lips against his ear fanned out throughout the rest of his system and had his body shaking.

Kili moved along the beat. He quirked an eyebrow in challenge. Oh, what the hell? He was only going to be up on this stage once, and he wanted to give a show. With swaying hips he sauntered closer.

Fili was enjoying watching so much he would have been happy to just have been an anonymous member of the audience. But he wasn't. He'd been thrust out here with Kili, who obviously had been doing some training with—well, with _someone_ —over the past months. He'd learned to move, to seduce...to smolder. So much so that Fili was having a hard time keeping his hands to himself.

He wanted to put his hands everywhere: from the top of Kili's mane of artfully tousled raven hair through which poked twin devil horns, down his blushing face, along the planes of his abs and down to his ass—clad in an adorable crimson thong, just as Bilbo had envisioned.

Fili never dreamed he'd see Kili looking like this, and only in his deepest kept fantasies did he imagine they would actually dance together on stage. Now that they were here, he wished they were somewhere private, for the things he wanted to do to the man in front of him were not meant to be seen by the eyes of others.

Fili knew that if he let Kili touch him again, he might give in to his passions, so he went for the deserted pole. Not the same pole that had been his anchor the day of the fire, thank god, and took it in hand, slithering against it and undulating, eyes locked on Kili's. _See what I'm doing to this pole? I wish it were you,_ the look said, and Fili licked a stripe up the side of it.

Kili was supposed to be the one doing the wooing, but the innuendo was clear enough. It became a game, a challenge to see who could win the upper hand. And Kili accepted wholeheartedly. His head tipped so that he looked at his friend with hooded eyes. Kili licked his lips once. Then he turned around and faced the audience, doing a number on his own while he continued to glance over his shoulder every now and then.

Fili didn't try to steal the spotlight from Kili. Quite the opposite. He was just as entranced, if not far more so, than the audience. Kili was having such fun and it showed.

And yet, he was dying to touch him. Being on stage like this allowed him the opportunity. Kili's devil wings were tiny and made sliding up behind him easy enough. Fili slotted himself against Kili's back and ran his hands slowly up Kili's sweat-slick abs and chest, clinging to him in adoration. It was not a sexual maneuver, but a sweet one. Well, until he decided to grab a handful of Kili's hair and pull his head back, exposing his neck.

There was nothing choreographed about the way Kili breathed at that moment. He had enough sense to pretend it was part of the dance, so his hand reached back to grasp in Fili's hair and his hips moved back sensuously, but that's where his reason left him. The sum of three months unfolded here tonight, and he wholly encouraged it.

"Does this mean you're still considering my offer?" Fili whispered in his ear, then ran his nose along Kili's shoulder, warm breath in his wake. Because of his height, he couldn't quite get the effect that he wanted. Keeping one hand in Kili's hair, he slid the other around to gently and briefly cup his ass.

"Do I look like a man still _considering_ anything, Fee?"

Fili stepped away, as the tone of his partner's voice caused a definite reaction in his groin. The number was drawing to a close, he hoped. As he wasn't sure how much longer he could handle the torment. 

He decided he wanted to kick the performance up a notch, even it if got him fired. He put a hand on Kili's shoulder, slowly turning him around to face him. "You want me?" he leaned in and asked softly in his ear, caressing Kili's face. "You _love_ me?"

Nothing could have told Kili that things would end like this. He shrugged, a coy smile gracing his lips. "I can give you a check for the first," which had remained a constant over the last few months. Funny, he thought, how three months of indecisiveness had been negated within the span of a few moments. "The second one is up to you."

The crowd was growing restless around them. They either had picked up on the tension, or they were eager for the show to pick up its pace again—Kili didn't know which of the two it was. But he rubbed his now obvious erection up against Fili and thought, what the hell.

Fili could literally hear Ori's voice in his head. _This isn't that kind of club!_

Fili chuckled and thought, _Fuck it. Let Thranduil fire me._.

He wrapped an arm around Kili's slim waist and entangled his other hand in those dark, raven tresses, using the leverage to pull himself up so their lips met — an act he'd been dreaming about for three years.

He could hear cheers and applause, but it was all a blur. His only focus was on the warm centimeters of flesh that were touching one another. There was nothing else.

It was in fact Kili however who took control of the dance from there on out. As soon as lips touched lips, he greedily drew him closer and pressed their bodies close, undulating shamelessly on the rhythm of the kiss as he laughed in between takes and gave it his all. The kiss definitely didn't possess the chastity that first kisses tended to have; Kili let the crowd and his own response rile him up until the song was forgotten. "They love it," he breathed. "Look at them. But I think we should really move this elsewhere soon."

Fili was so overwhelmed with joy-passion-happiness-Kili that he couldn't form words. He would have been content to stand there in front of a room full of people and just cling to the brunet until Bombur swept them up with the cash.

He managed to nod, jerkily, eyes huge, and started pulling Kili towards the break in the curtain. He turned to wave to the audience—thanking them for their support, and their patience. 

Kili, well, Kili only smiled at the audience in a way that let everyone know that this wouldn't be the end of it. He didn't take a bow; he only swayed his hips one last time and then he was off, pushing Fili back onto the first bench in the dressing room and straddling him. His lips were on the other's immediately.

From the dressing room sofa came a low chuckle that had to be Thorin. Kili grinned.

"Wow." He only had eyes for Fili. "We should have done that way earlier."

"Kee," Fili whimpered. "The wings, the wings..."

Beneath him, the angel wings were protesting the position. A distressed white feather actually fluttered down past Kili's face. 

Fili chuckled. "Help?"


	8. Ten Minutes in the Bathroom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the on-stage kiss.

Kili sat back on the bench and looked at him. 

Instead of aiding Fili in removing his wings, he started working on getting rid of his own. Though it caused him some trouble, he made sure not to lose Fili's eyes once. The wings were more trouble than they had been when getting them on, and he was half inclined to rip them off. He didn't, of course. As soon as they fell off his shoulders, he kissed Fili again. His hands tried to get the other set of wings off after that, but they were rather half-assed about it. There were so much more important things to be doing.

"Mmmmm," Fili murmured into his friend's mouth. "Buckle — it's around the back, 'member?" He lowered his arms, putting both hand's on the brunet's thighs so Kili could reach around him. Then he lay his forehead against Kili's shoulder, breathing him in—long, slow deep breaths, feeling much more relaxed than he could ever recall. 

"Thorin is watching us," he whispered.

Kili shrugged, because he didn't care about Thorin—he could look all he wanted. Fili was Kili's, not his. Anything else was, right now, irrelevant. He did care about something else, and groaned. 

"Fuck _me_. My shift doesn't end until two hours from now."

The wings took enough trouble for Kili to consider ripping them off, except that would really send him into trouble with Thranduil, if their current state wasn't already enough to warrant a good scolding. They did come off though; from that moment onward nothing kept him from doing what he wanted most. Kili pushed Fili up against the wall.

Fili was so hot—from the dancing, the kissing, the revelation—that he thought he might be feverish. Nearly naked and finally in Kili arms, he was happy to let his friend take the lead. In fact, he wanted nothing more. He actually moaned in pleasure when Kili pushed him against the wall and started kissing him. The blond pulled him as close as possible, wrapping one leg up around the back of his thigh possessively. 

"B-bathroom, Kee," he murmured in his friend's ear. "Let's go in the bathroom," he jerked his head in the direction of the small restroom off the dressing room. "Let me take care of you and we can get back to work." He slithered his hand down between them and brazenly cupped Kili's erection. "Mmm, god," he groaned. "I'm stuck here too. May as well make the best of it."

He lay a series of nipping kisses to the underside of Kili's jawbone.

Kili laughed with glee. "Yeah, sure," he nodded. "Absolutely." He threw one look at Thorin and—ignoring the far too amused look he was given in return—managed to communicate asking him for help. That meant barring the dressing rooms for a little while so Thranduil wouldn't find out about what was obviously a breach of regulation. 

"Ten minutes," he offered. "After that, you're on your own."

"You're a real lifesaver," Kili grinned in thanks. He at once pulled Fili off the bench and into the small bathroom. Upon the closing of the door, he backed Fili up against it and sank to his knees.

Kili knew that he didn't yet love Fili to the fullest of his extent, and as such he couldn't help but feel like he deserved this less than his friend, but the need to have him and not let him go was powerful enough to subdue that.

"Kili," the blond began. "You don't have to..." but he lost his train of thought when Kili slid the golden thong down over his thighs and immediately took Fili's cock into his mouth. _Now_ Fili got it... why the piercing was so very sought after. Not that it would have mattered. After months and months of nothing but his own hand and a bottle of lube, Kili's mouth was like heaven. This was made ironic, of course, by the adorable red Devil horns still poking through his mussed hair.

Fili groaned in desperate pleasure, winding his fingers through that hair. "Kee, it feels so _good,_ " he managed. He knew he was going to embarrass himself by coming quickly... but wasn't that the idea?

"Yeah?" Kili panted in between an excruciating pace of pulling all the way out and then moving in either very shallowly or so deep that his enthusiasm had a hard time making a good estimate and he had to frequently control his natural gag reflex. He knew the piercing added to the sensation—Dwalin had loved it—and he meant to give it all he had. Halfway through, he stopped to take in the sight of the man about whom he had wondered whether it wouldn't be awkward, after a friendship of so long.

There was nothing awkward about it. Kili looked at Fili and knew that it—this—it was right. It was how Fili was supposed to look, and frankly Kili believed that after so many bad relationships—if he could even call most of them that—he deserved someone who loved him for once, not for his eagerness in bed or his admittedly slightly gullible nature, but for himself.

"I don't think I'm going to get any sleep tonight," he said. "Should I call in sick tomorrow?" Before Fili could answer, Kili had taken him in again and hollowed his cheeks.

"Y-you want to come back to my place after work?" he asked. This is what Fili had gleaned from Kili's remark about calling in sick. But all logical thought was cut off when Kili began deep-throating him. Fili groaned and his knees practically gave out from the pleasure his friend was giving him.

"Kee!" he mewled, trying hard to control his urge not to fuck into Kili's mouth. "'m going to..." but by then, it was a moot point. "Oh my god," he breathed, as Kili wrung him dry. "Oh my god, oh my god..." He'd known Kili would be good, but he hadn't know _how_ good.

Panting, he urged Kili to his feet and threw his arms around him, kissing him ardently, the brunet's arousal poking him in the stomach. Fili reached down to take him in hand, all the while tasting himself on Kili's tongue.

"Your turn," he told his friend.

"M-mh!" Kili made a gesture that meant, 'hold on, just a minute!' before he hurried to the sink and got rid of Fili's seed in his mouth. Wiping his lips dry, he smiled apologetically. "Sorry. I don't really like to swallow." He liked milking it out of Fili though, just as he loved passing the taste back to him.

Looking him over with satisfaction, he nudged his head and hopped onto the small counter, trailing his hand lower. "Get over here, you fucking incredible creature. And yes. Of course I want to come over."

Fili suddenly felt very self-conscious after Kili spit into the sink. He'd never really minded semen so much himself. But then, his opportunities to actually taste it had been few and far between.

"W-what would you like me to do to you...right now?" he asked Kili, intent on making him as happy as possible. Already his hands were reaching for the sides of Kili's crimson thong.

At last Kili showed a bit of bashfulness. "Well," he mumbled, "I'm up for anything, but I think it might be best if we do something about this," he looked at his aroused cock, "little predicament first, and save taking our time for later."

While he spoke, his mind made other plans, so he corrected himself quickly. "Kiss me first."

At the same time, Kili's hands pushed Fili's lower down, undressing himself fully through the other. Kili had long forgotten about the devil horns.

Fili stepped up to the counter, hips slotted between Kili's spread legs and leaned into him. "Kee, there is nothing I want more than to kiss you again," he told him, eyes luminous. He took his friend's face in both hands and began gently and sweetly, heart soaring as he was finally— _finally_ —able to live out his fantasy with a willing Kili.

A hand slipped up into Kili's hair and encountered a devil horn, which reminded Fili just how sexy and wanton Kee had been on stage. He surged forward with more passion, pouring three years of wanting Kili into the kiss.

The sentiment was not lost between them. Kili, who didn't know about the three years and might have shown a bit more tact, despite already feeling like three months was a long time to wait for someone, returned the kiss and slowed it down. Though they were on a tight schedule if they wanted to prevent Thranduil's anger.

Wiggling fully out of the thong—and glad to be out of it for more than one reason—Kili breathed against his ear, "I'm all yours after work. But please have mercy on my job before you make me lose it, and do something about this first." He finished by nipping at the earlobe.

Fili nodded eagerly, licking his way out of Kili's mouth, across his jaw and along his shoulder, down his hairless chest and stomach. When he reached there, he grabbed Kili by both hips and slid him toward the front of the counter. He wanted access.

He'd only ever seen Kili naked in passing, changing after a shower and whatnot. Now, to be able to see his cock, rigid for _him,_ up close, was a genuine treat. He knelt, taking Kili's warm, soft testicles in one hand, testing the heft and watched the way the gesture caused the dick in front of him to leap and dribble. He licked his lips, dying for a taste, but wanting so badly just to look and touch. 

Fili compromised, grasping Kili's silky shaft with his free hand and closing his mouth over the tip, finally able to taste the pre-cum that had accumulated there. He french-kissed the tip, laving the vein on the underside of Kili's cock with his tongue He hoped he didn't disappoint.

He should have known that Kili didn't think of it as a competition, and as such there was no disappointment in his books; the only disappointment could come from being left alone to do something about it himself. It certainly was not how he felt right now, his head falling back against the mirror and gasping out. Kili had less reservations about these kinds of things, once he got past the initial stage of finding someone and wanting it; he spread his legs for further access, before leaning back on the counter on his elbows. 

"Fuck, _Fee_." Kili looked down at the sight of Fili's mouth around his cock. It was amazing, and insanely hot. "I am so never going to be able to look at you without thinking of this anymore." As far as he was concerned, there was no way that he and Fili were going back to being just friends.

The insistent stimulation to a particularly blissful spot made him shudder. "There. Don't stop."

Fili hummed a chuckle around the turgid flesh in his mouth at the cute little shiver that passed through Kili. There was a particular spot under the head of Kili's cock that was sensitive? He was going to take full advantage of that. Making his tongue a little more rigid, he laved the spot with focused attention, continuing his hands' manipulation.

His thoughts, meanwhile, flew forward in time. My god, what was going to happen when they got home if they were having such fun here?

Kili, meanwhile, had a hard time shutting up. He panted, breathed hard and failed to suppress a few audible moans that Thorin could no doubt hear. "Sorry," he chuckled unapologetically after a hand knocked on the door in reply, and proceeded to curse a heated "God!" when Fili did something that he could only describe as insane.

He didn't last long either. When Kili started sifting through Fili's hair with his fingers and grasped the strands with increasingly shorter intervals, the end approached fast. One moment, he was focused on the feeling, frowning; the next, Kili convulsed and laughed with exhilaration. He loved it.

"A smoke," he said breathlessly. "Someone get me a smoke. And more where that came from."

Fili wasn't worried about Kili's exuberant, passionate noises. The music on the club floor was so loud that no one but Thorin and Fili were going to hear them. When Kili came with a half-laugh, half-groan, Fili held onto his warm hips to ground him, hair falling like a curtain over his thighs.

He'd forgotten just how much one person could ejaculate. Clearly he was out of practice, but made no issue out of swallowing. It was Kili; For Kili he'd walk through fire. Hell, he already had.

After he'd licked Kili clean, he raised his face to him. "I didn't realize you were so _vocal,_ " he grinned.

He received only a quirked eyebrow in reply.

"Is that a problem?"

Because Kili was vocal, and while he was sure he could tone it down if Fili wanted him to, he didn't want to go there unless necessary.

"I think it's fucking adorable," Fili admitted, getting to his feet. He reached into the depths of Kili's hair and extracted the horns. "Could you possibly be any cuter?" he wondered, kissing his forehead gently. 

He slipped the gold circlet off his own head and retrieved his thong from where Kili had tossed it across the room. "We should get you dressed and back behind the bar before Thranduil has a fit," he told his friend.

"Cute?!" Kili laughed. "You think that's cute?"

Another knock on the door brought him back to their initial plans. "Right, right," and he slipped back into his thong, if only to have some decency when he made it to his regular working clothes and the shower. "Walk of shame, here we go." Kili kissed Fili one more time for good measure, looking like an infatuated fool, and opened the door.

He wasn't prepared to see Bilbo and Ori there.

Bilbo eyed the tousled, sated couple from head to toe. "Well well," he concluded, "I see Kili's new costume and dance had its desired affect." He accepted the horns and halo Fili offered him contritely. 

"That number was... amazing," Ori gushed, blushing a bit. "I can't believe you two made out on stage!"

"I'm sorry, B.B.," Fili told him, picking up his hastily discarded wings. "It just sort of _happened._ "

Kili scratched the base of his neck in apology. He wasn't sorry though, and when Thorin said, "Of course it _sort of happened_ , you two've been running in circles for how long now?" he couldn't help but chuckle.

"He's done most of the running, I'm afraid. Did Mr. Thranduil...?"

"He saw," Thorin said. "He wasn't very amused, I have to tell you, but then Bombur told him how much money you made. I don't think he minded much after that. I think it's wise you don't mention what just happened in his club's brand new bathroom for a while though."

"Oh, god," Fili blushed. "Thorin!" Then he noticed the small white trash bag on the table. "Kee?" he said to his friend. "This is yours. Take a look inside."

Unused to the spoils of dancing in public, Kili didn't know that the bag contained money until he opened it, equal bits wary and amused. Flustered, he quickly shut it again and stepped away from the bag.

"That's...that's really a lot. Just, hand it over to Mr. Thranduil or something. For the fire." Kili looked at Fili. "Besides, I think I've already been paid in full."

"Traditionally, what we do is give a bit to Bombur, for his trouble. As much as you like, of course. Thranduil doesn't take any of the tip money, Kee. It's yours. All yours," Fili told him.

"Thranduil was quite well insured," Bilbo told them. "No need to worry about compensating him for the damages caused by the fire. The building, the costumes, and all of us were covered on his policy. It covered all the medical bills, the rebuilding and gave me all the materials I could possibly need to do my job. We didn't lose a dime," he shrugged. "Dwalin may have done us a favor."

Fili didn't agree, of course, remembering the weeks of respiratory therapy he'd had to endure and the pain the burns on Bombur's arms had given him. 

" _I_ am the one who got paid in full," Fili told the brunet. "This money's all yours, Kee. Maybe you could start saving for a car," he suggested. 

"Too expensive." Kili looked at it. "Can I leave it here until I finish my shift? I still need to take over the bar in a few minutes. And if it's all the same by you, I think I could use a shower."

His shift lasted ages. People came up to him constantly to congratulate him on the dance, as well as to ask whether that kiss with Fili had been real or staged, because it _looked_ real enough to them. Some men looked at him in less than decent ways, but tipped him accordingly, causing Kili to feel even more embarrassed.

The best moments were when he got to see Fili though.

From months of hardly talking, they'd suddenly gone to kissing on stage with a promise of more. Kili couldn't keep his eyes off him. He grinned like a teenager in love when he thought Fili wasn't looking. And maybe he was, just a little.

Kili had a locker, like every employee, but he'd never bothered to purchase a padlock. Fili, instead, secured his money in his own locker, after sorting and stacking the bills neatly between numbers. He felt Kili would be pleased with the results, but it was hard to say. Fili didn't seem to care much for money or its usefulness. Fili only hoped he could convince him to be safe with it.

Fili, too, was grilled about the kiss. Several customers pulled him aside to ask him if he and the bartender were "an item" or if kissing on stage was now going to be a commonplace occurrence. If so, would they start taking off all their clothing as well? Would he finally be kissing Thorin? The conversations made him uncomfortable, so he retreated back to the dressing room to get dressed for the Phoenix number. 

The original costume had been lost in the fire, of course, but Bilbo had created the wings bigger and lovelier than before. 

"Now the club's named after your act," Bilbo told him, tightening the buckle on his wings. "No pressure, hon," he patted him warmly on the shoulder and handed him the bag of braids and red feathers for his outfit. Originally, Thranduil was going to dance it, but he had backed out the day before, without much of an explanation.

Bilbo smiled, sitting down next to Thorin on one of the dressing room sofas, putting his hand on the taller man's thigh. "Darling," he sighed, "our little boy is growing up."

Thorin glanced once over at Fili proudly. "We trained him well," before chuckling at Bilbo's comment and Fili's subsequent response. At the opening night of the renovated club, Fili had the iconic last performance all to himself. No pressure at all. Thorin rather seemed to be communicating to make them proud.

Meanwhile, Kili was instead continually looking at the clock. He didn't know Fili was going to be the final performance, though he hadn't seen him in ten minutes and—anxious as he'd gotten about not getting his fix—he had tried to tell himself he was probably just getting changed early. As the lights dimmed further and one spotlight fell on the main stage, he frowned in confusion.

Fili had honestly hoped that Bilbo would get rid of the Phoenix number, especially since Thranduil had renamed the club. The blond was not thrilled with the notion of being back on stage with flames surrounding him. Not one little bit.

Seeing Bilbo and Thorin so happy together, and so proud of him, brought warmth to his nervous stomach. He'd never had a real father figure in his life, which was probably why he felt so safe and secure around Bilbo, Thorin and Bombur. The folks at this club were his family—the best family a person could ask for. He loved every single one of them.

That love gave him the courage to fluff out his hair, straighten his back and take center stage. 

He danced for Bilbo, who had created the number expressly for him; for Thorin, who continued to be a silent source of support; for Ori, who had found courage at last; for Thranduil and Legolas, who were finally acting like a father and son; and for Bombur, who had literally saved his life. 

And, of course, he danced for Kili.

In the dim audience, his glance found Kili right away, offering dreamy-eyed support from behind the bar. Bilbo hadn't asked Fili to change anything about the dance, but he had made some creative, dramatic changes to the lighting and music. It was much more dramatic than before. As his nervousness subsided, he got into it, using the pole to full advantage to let his hair and the magnificent wings trail out behind him.

Most of the "regulars" had heard the story of what had transpired the day of the fire, especially of Bombur's heroics. He'd even had an article in the paper about his heroism. Those watching had an understanding of how fire had literally destroyed the club and what it meant for Thranduil to rebuild and for all of them to come back, stronger than before.

Fili, of course, had extra reason to celebrate. He had Kili. The memory of their earlier kiss fueled the passion of his dance.

Carefree Kili did not think about that fire as he watched his most recent interest dance. He nearly forgot an order that a customer had placed, while another laughed and told him, "Can't keep your eyes off him, eh?" as he placed his own order. And Kili couldn't. None of that earlier dance was fake, which was what the customers were starting to pick up on.

"Shouldn't you be in the crowd in front of him?" asked another.

It was getting ridiculous how mothered Kili was starting to feel by his own customers. "I'm good here," he said. "He knows where to find me." He made sure to offer the man a full glass in thanks and turned his eyes back to the stage.

Fili was marvelous as he worked the pole. Kili was sure he could watch him all day, moving to the beat and using the lights to his advantage. Whenever he'd move out of the spotlight and stepped into it again seconds later, making sure to reveal enough but also not, the crowd clung to his every move. Without actively thinking about it, Kili was beginning to get affected.

Fili found himself falling back into his old ways. He liked to try to send psychic messages to Kili as he danced. 

_This is my job,_ he tried to convey to the bartender, _and I love it. But it's not all I am. I don't care if anyone sees me—except you._

He held onto the pole with one hand, leaning way back so that his hair and wings swept the floor. His other hand traveled down his body from his neck to the vee of his crotch. His eyes were closed. He hung there, daring himself—daring the crowd—to go further.

He didn't, of course.

_Because we aren't that kind of club,_ he heard Ori's voice in his head, which caused him to give a naughty smile and bite his lip, which only made him look as if he were fantasizing about someone else's hand on his body.

"He makes me feel dirty," Legolas confided to Ori, as they watched the dance.

"It's called horny, lover," Ori smiled and bit his earlobe. "And I hope that feeling follows you home."

That effect was shared by the crowd and resulted in many vying for the dancer's special attention. Of course, the place had been out of the running for some time, but in no way did that account for all of the remarkable profits made.

Kili licked his lips for him and wondered if Fili noticed. He couldn't wait for the dance to end, and yet he loved to see it go on.

When he glanced to his right, he noticed Ori and Legolas. They were adorable together. Kili hoped they could be like that too, Fili and he. At least he was a big improvement on Dwalin. Thinking of him still made his blood boil.

As soon as the song ended, he made sure he was ready to go.

Fili smiled as Bilbo helped him out of his wings and was still giddy as he removed the clip-on braids and feathers from his hair. He was desperate to hop into the shower and head out to see Kili, and so nervous that his hands were shaking.

The excitement of being back at work and the adrenaline and self-esteem boost that went along with it only fueled his mood. The shower he took was slightly more thorough than he'd normally take at the end of the night, for he knew he was going home with the man he'd pursued for so long. 

He was so glad he hadn't given up on Kili when he'd gotten discouraged. Despite their differences, his desire for Kili was deeper than simply lust. He flourished in his presence and wanted nothing more than his happiness. 

He got out of the shower and greeted Bombur in the dressing room. He insisted Bombur take the entire bag of cash he'd swept up after the Phoenix routine.

"Do something special for your family," he told him. Bombur was so happy that he cried, and so did Fili, hugging him tightly.

Fili got dressed and got his duffel bag from his locker, before he left to join Kili in the club's main room.

Normally, they would have to close off the place first. But Kili had made sure to keep his isle clean throughout the remainder of the evening, had washed the dishes and counted the balance in the register. There wasn't anything anyone could do to keep him there at the end of his shift.

"Ready?" he flocked to Fili at once when he left the backstage area with encouraging enthusiasm.

"Wow...you're done already?" Fili was a combination of flattered and terrified. "Yeah," he reached for Kili's hand. "I'm ready."

"Absolutely," Kili grinned. He made no pretenses wanting to celebrate the first night back in business with the others—which was no doubt going to happen—as he threw a look over his shoulders, waved, and dragged Fili outside.

As soon as the door closed, he pushed the other flush against the door and kissed him passionately.

Unexpected whoops and cheers suddenly greeted them from a nearby convertible. Kili stilled.

"I guess that answers our questions!" they heard someone say, followed by a laugh. 

"Don't stop on our account!" another man encouraged when Fili blushed and lowered his head.

"We should go home, Kee," he murmured softly.

"Right," Kili chuckled. He'd rather push Fili into another corner and continue as if nothing had happened, but it was obvious it was not what Fili wanted. "Lead the way, then."

It was funny, he thought, that he'd known this man for so long as a friend that they'd almost felt like brothers. He could tell him everything and Fili would laugh or share his own misfortunes with him. Kili knew exactly what bothered him in partners and what he liked, without sleeping with him. Like a switch flipped inside his brain however, the thoughts were not brotherly anymore. Kili wanted to go further than that, and not out of curiosity. It was wonderful to think of Fili like that.

Wonderful, and also pretty scary.

"It's just," Fili began, as they started walking towards the subway station, "I don't like to parade my personal life in front of our customers. Kissing on stage tonight... that was really amazing. But it can't happen again. Not in front of customers, I mean," he clarified. "It ruins our mystique, you know? I know, it sounds silly. It's something B.B. always talks about. Appearing single, but unavailable, makes them want you more—and pay you better."

He turned to Kili once they'd rounded a corner. "Do you think you 'd want to do that again...get up on stage and dance?"

Kili frowned. "No way. I mean, it was fun, and especially when you came on stage," he offered a mischievous smile that begged for a kiss, "but I don't really care about the money, and I'd just rather be in my corner. I feel safe there. Less...looked at like a piece of meat, I suppose. Not like you're a piece of meat, of course, that's not what I'm saying."

"Ah," Fili smiled, caressing his cheek, "that's too bad. It'll be a shame to see that devil costume go to waste..."

"You want me to wear it again, don't you?" Kili knew the answer from Fili's expression before the confirmation came. "Well, maybe. That doesn't have to be linked with me on stage." He started walking in the direction of Fili's small flat.

"Well," Fili mused, catching up with him, "that, or we could switch off. You could be the angel sometimes. It could be mood dependent." He was quiet for a bit. "It's no mystery tonight...you are the devil." He slipped his arm around Kili's waist and pulled him closer as they walked.

Kili pouted playfully, but he didn't really mind. What he did mind was that they were taking ages to get to Fili's apartment—something that, by his standards, could use some more haste. He longed to kiss Fili properly, with no one to watch and no one to disturb them. "You were great today," he admitted.

"I came so close to not showing up tonight," Fili confessed. "I've had so many nightmares about the fire. It helps that the club looks a bit different now. And that you're there," he admitted, squeezing his hip. "It's not much further, Kee," he smiled, noticing Kili's eagerness.

"I know," because Kili had been to Fili's place so many times he had lost count over the years. He couldn't help but remain impatient and clung closer to Fili, the closer they got to it. To any passers-by, they looked like a happy couple, together for ages. Nobody would suspect the eagerness under Kili's skin—bar, perhaps, Fili.

It was however one of the first times they talked about the actual fire. "I'm glad you did. I'm really sorry for getting involved with Dwalin. I didn't think it would end like that. You nearly died, because of some stupid contracts."

“It was a horrible day, but it certainly helped me get my priorities straightened out,” Fili reached for his keys and started climbing the stairs to his apartment. He could literally feel Kili’s eyes on him. “It reminded me what’s important,” he said, unlocking the door and opening it for his friend.

Kili entered and slipped out of his faux leather jacket, fixing his loosening ponytail. "What's that?" he asked as he kept his hand on the light switch.

“Going after what you want, and reminding the people that make your life wonderful how much you love them,” Fili said solemnly. “Life is too short not to pursue happiness, Kee.”

In the dark of the apartment, the other gently pushed the door shut. "I would never tell you otherwise," he said. It was Kili's creed, really. It just always ended wrong in his case, with bad types and worse jobs. He moved closer until their bodies nearly touched. "What is it you want, Fee?"

Fili reached over and removed the elastic band the brunet had secured in his hair and let the tresses fall freely over his shoulders. "I want you, Kili Durinson. How many times and how many ways must I remind you?"

The next time he received an answer, it was quieter and loaded. "As many ways as there are, and then I don't mind if you show me in the same way multiple times."

Kili longed to just jump him, but he wasn't the one with a heart in love for years already, so he allowed Fili to take that first step.


	9. You're My Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The adventures at "The Lair" come to a close. Fili's dream comes true. ♥

((LittlestSecret drew this gorgeous picture of Kili and Fili dancing at The Phoenix. We hope you love it as much as we do.))

 

"Do you, uh, want a soda or something?" Fili asked as he removed his denim jacket and hung it on the back of a chair. He picked up Kili's from the floor and did the same with it. "Are you hungry?"

Kili wanted only one thing, but he switched on the light to a dim cast nonetheless and sat down on the couch. There he kicked his shoes off and pushed his feet out of his socks, before sitting down cross-legged. "Not really. Well, actually I'd really love some fries right now, but um, not really."

Fili sat down next to him. "This is weird, isn't it? Away from the stage? Without the costumes? That atmosphere is an aphrodisiac all on its own." He reached for Kili's hand. "But Kili, I fell for you long before I saw you in that devil costume. Long before we even started working there."

"It is a little," Kili admitted, looking down at their clasped hands.

They'd been friends too long for it not to be strange, but for Kili it was rather the fact that Fili continued stubbornly to not just kiss him senseless, that confused him. "You should have told me, you know. If I think back now, I've been so careless in I've said. We could have skipped all that time. Why didn't you tell me? Did you want to wait, or was it because of our friendship?"

"Well," Fili began. "It was mostly my drinking. I wanted to make sure I was sober for a few years before I made any life-altering changes like entering into a relationship. I wanted to be the best _me_ I could before I even tried to share that with anyone. That, and I was afraid of how you might react. I don't want to lose you, and I was afraid if I told you I felt _that way_ about you, that you'd—I don't know—lose respect for me, or something. I would rather live in a world where I have you as a friend, who loves me and wants to spend time with me, than in a world where you dread seeing me because we failed as a couple."

Kili shifted on the couch. Many of his attempted relationships _had_ failed. Now that he thought about it, he'd never given Fili a reason that it could go well. He'd never really seen Fili give someone a shot, either. So to want Kili, who seemed incapable of good relationships, put a bit of a weight on his shoulders. "But what if we decide we'll give this a shot," he wondered aloud, "and, if it fails, we'll try our very best to become friends again? I want to try this with you, Fee. I'm not afraid to take that step."

"I'm not afraid anymore," Fili told him in a whisper-soft voice, cupping his face. He slowly climbed over until he was straddling Kili's lap. "God, you are so beautiful," he said, and leaned in to kiss him, hands automatically delving into Kili’s thick hair.

A wave of relief washed over Kili at the kiss, and he tugged Fili closer until he had enough traction to reach up and kiss him back with all he had to offer. "And you," he sighed into the kiss. "I promise you I won't let you down." He sank back into the seat and moved his hands to Fili's hips. They crept up under his shirt and met with hot skin begging to be touched. Finally, he thought, there were no more worries about Fili going back on his words. Kili removed his shirt clumsily and grinned up.

Kili's fingers left goosebumps in their wake, the chill encouraging Fili to sink down further on Kili's lap and into the warmth of his neck, mouth nuzzling, tongue questing and teeth teasing. His hands made short work of pulling Kili's dark cotton shirt over his head and his eyes fell to the exposed flesh hungrily. "Do you think you'd like to go to bed with me?" he wondered.

Kili huffed distractedly. "What kind of a question is that?" He tipped his head to lean against the back of the couch and offer Fili more access. "Do you still need to ask? Of course I want to. You mean you haven't noticed how I've been aiming at that all night?"

"I meant, now. Like _immediately,_ " Fili chuckled. "This couch...it sucks." He hopped to his feet, bare feet padding across the floor as he pulled Kili towards the bedroom. 

"Oh!" Kili laughed in surprise as he was tugged up and along. "Well, it's not really a _bedroom_..." he drawled, waiting for a response that he could quiet with his lips. It was also Kili who at last pushed Fili down on the bed and crouched over him. He kissed him hard. Now that Fili was no longer only friend material, he ached to see and do more.

"It's a room, and it has a bed," Fili said simply. "And in another semester, after graduation, I'll move out of student housing into a proper flat...with a much bigger bed. I—," he began. "We could be roommates, if you like," he reached down and cupped Kili's erection, appraising and squeezing gently. 

"Roommates sounds far too much like just friends," Kili said. He liked the idea, but not enough to distract him from the thing at hand. Stretching out, he closed his eyes and passively allowed Fili to explore, giving him a map of his body and offering directions in the shape of sounds; a bad turn and he silenced, whereas a particularly good feeling was rewarded with a purr.

Fili chuckled softly at his friend's bedroom habits. After stripping Kili of the rest of his clothing he'd located several erogenous zones and filed them away for future use. Soon he found himself on his stomach, between a supine Kili's thighs. "Kee, I don't want to bring up Dwalin, but I do want to ask you...what do you _like_ in bed? Or would it be faster to list what you _don't_ like?" he grinned, lowering his head to carefully take one of the brunet's balls into his mouth, sliding his right thigh to the side and trailing a finger along his perineum. 

Fili didn't want to make a big deal out of it, but he'd really enjoyed Kili's earlier possessiveness—being pushed against the wall and kissed. He wanted more of that. 

A leg looped around his waist, pulling him closer. All the while, Kili moved one hand down to leisurely play with himself, without getting in the way of Fili's ministrations. "Are you sure you want to go there?" he mused. "You've heard many of my stories about him, and about others, so I'm sure you must have an inkling." He recalled mentioning the many ways in which Dwalin could drive him crazy with his toys, or made him touch himself. He thought he might have also mentioned that he was willing to try most things, purposeful pain excluded. "Unless you want me to spell it out," he smiled. "Do you want me to spell it out?"

"I _have_ heard things," Fili admitted. "N-no, I don't need any details. I've just spent so much time dreaming about being with you, like this, that I never actually considered what I might do with you," he smiled, and pushed Kili's hand away from his dick, opting to take it into his own mouth.

Kili drew in a sharp breath of air. He didn't speak again until several seconds later.

"Relax, Fee. We'll have plenty of time to try everything out. Right now, all I'm expecting you to do is show me how much you want this. That's all. No experimenting on the first night, got it?" He didn't want to scare him off. 

With his hands left without a target, Kili started impatiently tugging on Fili's jeans, though he forgot halfway there when he got distracted with how fucking good Fili's mouth was starting to feel.

Fili pulled off with an obscene slurp, letting Kili's cock slap down against his abs. He got off the bed and pushed off his jeans and underwear, eyes locked with Kili's, then climbed back on top of him, straddling his hips. He made sure their hips were perfectly slotted together. "I like the view from up here," he said with a lopsided grin, playing with a lock of Kili's hair.

"Oh, do you now?" Kili asked, before he flipped them over and ground his hips down. "Christ, you feel good!"

"I always knew we'd fit together like two pieces of a puzzle," Fili told him. He wrapped one leg around Kili's waist and used it to anchor himself as he reached for the top drawer of his bedside table. "I have lube and condoms, if you think you might need them," he smiled, sliding open the drawer. "Or we could just—you know—snuggle."

He raised his eyebrows at Kili to indicate he was joking.

Kili gasped. "I'll have you know, I've been waiting all night to have you like this." He left the condoms for what they were, instead reaching only for the lube and subsequently kissing Fili into his pillow. The bed had been messy when they'd fallen down on it; it was going to get a lot worse.

Smearing a fairly generous amount of lube onto his own hand, Kili looked down through lidded eyes as he wrapped the slick hand around his own dick and hissed.

"Kili Durinson," the blond scolded him, "let's make one thing perfectly clear from the start. You will _never_ have to touch yourself while I'm around. Do you get me?" He gently, but firmly, pushed Kili's slick hand away from the swollen appendage. 

Kili pouted. "I like touching myself."

"I have touched myself far too much in the past few years," Fili sighed, looking a little sad. "I'm looking forward to turning the task over to someone else. But, if it's what you really want to do..." he cocked his head, "by all means, continue."

"I think I might like touching you too," Kili offered like he was still debating it. He wasn't; in his mind he'd already smeared the same amount of lube around Fili's cock. Kili loved it slick. He waited for a response in favor of a few tight strokes that had his hands slicker than his cock, and transferred that to Fili's erection.

Kili licked his lips. "That's not too bad." In his thoughts, he was already imagining how that would feel buried inside him. A shiver ran through him at the idea alone.

"You do love to make a mess. Always have," Fili bucked up into the touch with a groan, and felt his orgasm coming way quicker than he would have liked. He heaved Kili over onto his side, pulling the lube from his hand. "Let me see that stuff," he smiled, squeezing a dollop onto the first two fingers of his right hand. "Stop squirming," he insisted, putting a hand on Kili's hip and easing him onto his back. The lubed fingers found their way between Kili's parted thighs and Fili looked at him questioningly.

Kili raised one brow and pushed down, practically forcing himself around the finger. It didn't go in as deep as he would have wanted, of course, and he was left panting, silently begging Fili to do something more. "Next time," he breathed, "we're getting flavored lube and I'm going to rub it all over you and clean you up with nothing but my mouth. How's that sound?"

"Sounds incredibly sticky, and fun," Fili added, lazily wiggling the finger buried inside Kili's tight heat. Slowly, he added a second finger and felt around tentatively for that little nub he'd heard so much about.

Instead of helping him, Kili only pleaded for a finger more. He loved it being just a little too tight, which it already was. Well. He didn't care. Fucking himself back and forward onto the two fingers, his breathing picked up.

When Fili did touch it quite by accident, he took Kili completely by surprise. "Ah!" his hips jerked, "Fuck! Right there!" And shamelessly, he rolled himself onto his stomach and pushed himself up on his knees to offer Fili more access.

Fili felt the crushing pressure of his own inexperience. He'd had a couple of drunken encounters during his first attempt at college, but most of that was a blur, lost to the alcohol and his own stupidity. He wanted so desperately not to disappoint Kili, but he knew he couldn't compare to someone as experienced as Dwalin.

Seeing Kili so easily assume this vulnerable position for him choked him up. He continued to use his fingers, adding a third and petting Kili's warm flank with the other hand, like one might do to comfort a skittish horse. But he was really comforting himself, as he stroked Kili's soft flesh with his palm. This was happening, then? He was about to fuck his best friend?

He scissored his fingers, again seeking out that hardened bump that made Kili mewl under his hand and bite his lip. Fili felt compelled to slip up behind him and watch the spot where his fingers were disappearing. He gasped at the pleasure the sight brought him, and leaned down to lay his warm chest over Kili's back. 

"Mh," Kili all but keened. "Keep doing that, and I'll be an—ah—oh, nevermind!" 

The sight of Fili was unavailable to him. Instead, Kili tried to tell him where to go with body language, though the need to have him inside him was burning brighter and brighter, already consuming him. No longer did he laugh and play around with Fili. If he didn't get more soon, he felt like he was going to burst.

Eventually, he couldn't hold himself in anymore. When Fili brushed the spot again, he challenged, "Put your cock where your fingers are, Fee. I need you."

"All right then," Fili said, resolutely. He plucked a condom from the bedside drawer and slipped it over his aching erection. "Please, Kee, let me know if I do anything wrong or if I hurt you?" he requested, lining up with the winking entrance in front of him. Ever so slowly, he edged into that tight channel, whimpering at the heat and the vise-like grip on his cock. 

Panting, and fully seated, he reached beneath his love to try to coax Kili's waning erection back to life. He hoped Kili couldn't feel him shaking.

Although Kili did, he accounted it to the notion of them having sex for the first time since what must have been ages for Fili, waiting for someone who didn't know he was being waited for. The pain of intrusion was still slightly there and he clenched and unclenched, putting one hand on Fili's arm to signal him to pause. "Just a minute. Hold on." Kili did his best to relax. He always forgot how quickly he became unaccustomed to the feeling if he hadn't done anything for a while.

"Mm, how do I feel?" he asked into the pillow as he waited. "You feel so amazing, Fee. You're big."

"Oh, no," Fili felt himself blushing. "No, I'm not, Kee. But you, you're so warm, and it...it's _tight_. So much tighter than I expected. I mean...ugh, okay, that came out so very wrong. I just...I've never done this before," he admitted.

Kili stilled. "Of course you have," he said much quieter. "You said you did some stuff in college, right?"

"Well, yeah, a little. I have never," he swallowed audibly, " _fucked_ anyone before. I mean...you know, been the one putting my dick in someone. It's always been done to me." He caressed Kili's hair softly. "So, my concern for hurting you is very valid. I'm not sure I know what to do."

A long silence followed. Then, Kili buried his head into the pillow. "Oh god, Fili. You should have told me that. You're an exotic dancer, for fuck's sake. I thought...oh, pull out for a bit. We need to do this differently."

"I'm not sure I want to leave, now that I'm in here," he wrapped his arms around Kili's waist. "It feels too good. Just...just tell me what to do. Do you want me to move?" he wiggled his hips experimentally. "Because I really, really feel like moving."

Kili laughed at the oddness of it all, and the sweetness with which Fili spoke. It stood in stark contrast with all of his previous bed partners; it made him know he'd made the right choice. "Yeah," he nodded, "but go very slowly. You can go as deep as you like. Just not fast yet."

Fili moved his warm hands to Kili's hip bones, caressing them lovingly, before he pulled back a bit, and sank homeward with a soft moan. "I can't help but think this would be lovelier if I could see your face," Fili gasped, as he repeated the action a few more times. "But then, I'm romantic like that," he added, increasing both the distance he pulled out and the depth to which he delved. 

He canted his hips a bit, trying to see if he could find that spot with his cock instead of his fingers. He knew he'd succeeded when Kili clenched around him.

On request, though with some trouble, Kili leaned his head on his cheek and pushed his hair out of the way. "That's why I wanted to do things differently, silly," he smiled—and almost cried out when Fili reached it again. "For a first-timer, you're having no trouble with that," he chuckled when he came down from his high enough. "Now, hit me again."

"I am a quick study," Fili undulated his hips, angling for that magic spot again and again. His own orgasm was fast approaching. "I'm afraid I won't be able to hold out much longer," he gasped, "unless I start thinking of multiplication tables."

"Then stop moving and touch me," the younger said with a slight edge of authority in his voice, which he soon corrected. "Trust me, you'll love it if I come first."

And Fili obeyed, bringing one arm around Kili's waist to grasp his erection, which he slowly began stripping in time with his slow, calculated thrusts. As he increased speed, so did his hand. The other steadied him firmly on Kili's hip.

Lost to the dual rhythm, Kili's breathing hitched and his skin was growing clammy with sweat. "Like that." His hands clutched sheets and his hips pushed back insistently. In his loins something was building up, obvious by the shifting of muscle under skin and the ceasing of remarks. Kili bit the pillow and groaned.

It was easy to forget that Fili hadn't done this before; not because his ministrations were perfect, but because they weren't. Whenever Kili thought he was going to come, Fili managed to change his pace or hit him just differently and the feeling lost momentum. It was driving Kili mad. "There!" He reached back to place a demanding hand on Fili's hip. "Don't you dare do anything else but this."

Fili smiled. _There_ was the pushy little devil he'd been waiting for. Not that Fili could have changed his course again if he tried. "Yes, my love," he agreed with a moan. He was so close to coming he was running out of tricks to stave it off. In the position Kili dictated with his insistent hand, Fili drove into him again and again, crying out in pleasure.

Kili loved it when they both lost control. He was a generous lover who loved to give it his all, but Fili's declaration had put a bit of a stopper on that. He was glad to see that Fili seemed to have finally forgotten that and was giving it his all. A throaty chuckle escaped Kili's lips. "Don't you stop," he commanded. "I'm so—so fucking close. Don't you dare stop when I'm—I'm—"

With a harsh cry, Kili came. His knees gave way, but he didn't stop writhing into the sheets, soiling both his stomach and the bed in the process. He couldn't keep himself focused on how Fili responded to the unsuspected tightness that followed, but he fucking loved it, himself.

Kili's hedonism was contagious. Fili followed him down, in more ways than one, as his body grew taut as a bowstring when Kili clamped around him. He nearly whited out when he came, so to keep himself grounded, he pushed aside the heavy curtain of Kili's dark hair and lay his forehead against Kili's cheek.

"Oh my god," he croaked after the tempest had passed and they lay there, panting and sticky with sweat and other fluids. "Oh. My. God."

Kili laughed. "I told you it would be good." He didn't really have much strength left but, with what he had, he clenched around him once more. "I have to warn you though. If you want to do that again soon, you'll have to use more lube." He was hoping Fili was going to suggest that instead, Kili topped the next time.

Fili gasped when Kili squeezed his over-stimulated cock, but didn't have the energy to scold him. Instead, he carefully slid out of the pliant body beneath him, slipped off the condom and knotted it, placing it in the small trash can near his bed. He lay chaste kisses to Kili's forehead, his cheeks.

"Thank you," he said. "Kee, I-I love you. I have loved you for years. You don't have to say it back," he quickly clarified. "I just wanted to tell you."

"Silly Fee," Kili chided him and captured his lips as they passed him by. The kiss was weak and peaceful—he liked post-orgasmic kisses for that. Those were the kind that soothed him, that told him all was right. "You can tell me you love me any time. I'm not going to run from you." He chuckled quietly. "Things have been going really fast tonight, so give me some time. How about we go on a few dates? You know, how these things should normally go."

Fili felt his heart lurch. Truth be told, he was more than a little disappointed that Kili didn't return the sentiment, even if it was only words. He'd felt like he'd been dating Kili forever, but it obviously didn't feel that way to the brunet, who had viewed their time together as platonic—brotherly.

"I'll get us cleaned up," Fili rose and padded to the bathroom, returning with a towel and a washcloth damp with warm water. With a gentle touch, he rubbed the evidence of their lovemaking from Kili's stomach, chest, and the cleft of his ass, handing him the towel. 

"Sex doesn't get you out of work either," the blond reminded his friend. "Better get some sleep."

"Fuck that," Kili said in an adorable way that didn't match his words, as he rolled onto his side to look at Fili. "I'm not in your bed for sex and sleep alone. It's not a one-night-stand we're having. I want to talk with you. What have you been up to last couple of months? How's school? And you'd better give me more kisses, boyfriend."

"Now you're just being cute to avoid sleeping," Fili did finally scold him, drying off and tossing the towel and washcloth in the general direction of the bathroom in a very Kili-esque manner. 

He chuckled at his own actions and slid into bed next to Kili. "I missed two of my finals, because of the hospital stay," he told him. "But my profs were great. They came to see me while I was recovering and allowed me to take oral exams. Don't look at me like that. It's not as perverted as it sounds." He grinned. "I got As on them both."

Kili purred. "Can I give you oral exams later?" He fully expected to be hit over the head for it. "But that's really great. Are you going to make it? With the money, and all of the grades? You'll continue dancing, right? Except if you wouldn't, I would understand that too." As soon as Fili came within reach, he pecked him on the lips.

"I won't dance forever, if that's what you mean," Fili told him. "I'm just entering my final year of grad school now. I have to write a thesis—which is going to be brutal—but I have been really lucky. I've saved a lot, Kee. When it's time for me to quit dancing and start being a counselor, I'll be all right," he caressed Kili's face. "I worry about you, you know? The way you are with money? I'm afraid you aren't thinking about the future. You need to start taking care of yourself, Kili." He held him tightly. "Do you have a bank account?"

"Of course I have." Because who didn't have a bank account? It was pretty much required for anyone with a regular job these days, wasn't it? Kili didn't voice that. He didn't like talking about futures, because they always implied having a plan. He didn't. He loved to live life as it came to him. "I'm saving up to find a better apartment," he tried.

"Once school is over, we could get a place together," Fili regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. "I mean, you know, to save money. Let's be honest...we're always at each other's apartments anyway. We might as well put them in the same place."

Fili smiled. "I'm not as organized as you think, Kee," he studied Kili's face. "The university does have a job placement plan, but I hadn't really thought about what I want to do beyond getting a job. I've only thought about who I wanted to be with."

"Don't smooth it over," Kili wrinkled his nose. "If you want us to live together, you don't have to pretend it's for the money. _I_ wouldn't do it for the money." He tried another kiss, hoping to get a response this time. "You'll do great, Fili. You'll be the guy who has it all worked out, mind my words. I'm proud of you for what you've accomplished already. The grades, the no more drinking. I'm good, the way I am, but you deserve so much. And you'll get there."

"Kee, _you_ deserve just as much. I don't know where along the line you got the idea that you don't," Fili said sadly, drawing him towards him for a kiss. "Whatever I do, I want to make you believe that you are as amazing and special as I believe you are."

A hand draped over Fili's waist and Kili pulled himself close against him. It was starting to sink in. Fili and he were boyfriends. It felt like natural progression, but so easy that it hadn't occurred to him before. He licked Fili's lips and enticed him into a long, slow kiss. The hand moved up and started brushing through hair; then to Fili's temple; then his chin.

"You're doing it already," Kili referred to a sentence already almost forgotten. "Aim for the stars, Fee. I'll be there every step of the way."

"You're my star," Fili told him, rolling on top of him.

Unfortunately for Kili, that maneuver spiked him a little too much, and he flushed at his physical response. "You're a sweetheart," he whispered. "You should have danced for me way sooner."

"Anyone can see me dance," Fili told him, running hands along Kili's flanks. "But only you get this. Get _me,_ doing this," he lowered his head and kissed him with building passion. "This I have saved for you."

Kili poked him in his side. "I meant, get me to notice you." But it was he who stretched languidly and enjoyed the attention given fully. There was little shame in him being still very naked—frankly, Kili had forgotten he was—though it was making itself known again. He soon had one leg around Fili's hips.

There was no laughter, this time around. Kili was serious. "This," he admitted to the room with a quiet voice, "will be the best decision I've made in a long time."

"Mmmhmm," Fili nodded, squeezing his ass. "You are _so_ very right about that," and he dove in to kiss a line along his jaw, neck and shoulder.

Fili's previous plea for sleep was soon forgotten in favor of better things. Never did Kili have Fili the recipient, but all the same he simply couldn't keep his hands or his mouth off him. It took several, continually lazier trysts for them to be so tired out that after the fourth—Kili's mouth around Fili—they finally fell asleep in a jumble of limbs.

As Kili woke first, the next morning, he remembered he had a day off, tugged one of Fili's shirts over his head, and smiled warmly as he snuck back into the bed next to the sleeping form of his new partner.

Partner.

It felt like an addiction. But a good one.

Fili awoke in Kili's arms. "Mm, hey," he murmured, hair a tousled mess. He stretched with a groan, back protesting the movement. "If we are going to keep this up, I'm going to need to buy a bigger bed," he smiled sleepily.

"Doesn't fit in your _bedroom_ ," Kili said sleepily against his hair and pulled him close like a giant teddy bear. "Stay awhile. I don't have plans for the day."

"I don't have class until one," Fili said with a hinting tone, wrapping his arms around the brunet's chest. His ear tuned into Kili's strong heartbeat and he felt a deep sense of comfort. "Waking up with you...I could get to like this," he told him.

"That's the point." Kili couldn't help but sneak a hand further down, obviously in search of something, but also slow enough for Fili to be able to intercept if he wasn't up for it.

Fili didn't intercept the hand. He arched into it. He'd orgasmed more in the past twelve hours than he had in the past month. And he liked it. A lot. 

"You are a very, very bad influence, Kee," he took the shell of Kili's ear between his lips. 

"How is this bad?" Because Kili made no pretenses; he was unashamed of wanting to touch him.

One o'clock turned out to be a close shave in the end.

"Will you be at the club tonight?" Fili asked his friend, zipping up his jeans and sitting down to put on a pair of socks.

Kili leaned his chin on Fili’s shoulder lazily. "No shifts." He pecked his neck one last time, before telling himself to let go. "That means I get to have all night to watch you dance. You bet I'll be there."

"In that case," he caressed Kili's cheek as he got up to leave for school, "bring money. Small bills. I’m saving up. I've got a new boyfriend and I want to try to impress him with a nice date."

Kili laughed. "You mean I'm paying for my own date." He fell back into bed and rolled around for good measure. "Just so you know, I'm going to stay here a while and touch myself thinking of you. Think on that in class."

"Oh yeah," Fili grinned before stepping out the door. "B.B. knew exactly what he was doing when he put you in a devil costume." 

Kili thought himself to be a nice guy, aside from the occasional tease—nicer than many, at least. But it kind of defeated the purpose if he protested now. Instead he smirked, rolled onto his front and looked at Fili over his shoulder. "B.B. doesn't know the half of it."

He then did ruin the mystique by asking, "Any chance we can grab a bite together after class?"

"Yeah," Fili nodded. "Burgers and milkshakes in the cafe at six...on me. No arguments," he held up his hand before the naked brunet could protest. "I'm already hungry," he grinned, licking his lips.

Kili wiggled his hips. "Be fast about it then, and maybe dessert will be on me."

He was going to have absolutely no problem falling for this man.

Fili stole one more reluctant glance at the caramel expanse of Kili's posterior before resolutely exiting into the bright September sunshine.

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another saga ended. BlueMonkey and I thank you all so much for reading and letting us know your thoughts along the way. 
> 
> We have a one-shot prompt fill coming up, then our next multi-chapter adventure will take us into the Mirkwood prison. Hope you'll come along for the ride!


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